Ask Sweet Child of Mine

Mila Tesara

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Jedi Order
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Jedi Knight

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Algarus
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Location: Hyperspace, within the Unknown Regions


It had taken time and consideration, but Mila finally was ready to confront the situation looming before her. There was conflict and strife etched into the core of her padawan, and as his mother and mentor, it was her job to mend such issues. Seeing as how there was still some time before they arrived back home, there would be no better time to address the issue.

It was only the two of them now, no one to interfere. Master and apprentice, mother to son; just as they had done for years. Moving from her quarters into the cargo hold, she steeled herself for the conversation that would unfold. Dark thoughts had loomed at the back of her mind, and yet she knew there was still faith that this conflict could be resolved. She knew Brahe since he was young, and knew well enough that he had a good heart, but did he truly want to be a jedi? Or was he only trying to mimic his mother figure. It was a difficult idea to fathom, but that might very well be the reality. Stepping into the cargo hold, she could only imagine what the young man was tinkering with at current, but her inflections would be calm and composed. "Brahe, I think we need to talk." Mila started, as her eyes would meet that of her padawan.

@Noctyr
 
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Brahe Sienar

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Jedi Order
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Noctyr
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Brahe had been working on the hyperspace motivator, lost in thought when his master Mila showed up, a voice of calm clear when she approached him. Part of him felt that she wanted to talk about what had happened on Teth.....although some part of him held a bit of resentment that she hadn't approached him earlier if that was the case. But more importantly, it was her relative calm that unnerved him- this was something that he had wanted to get off his chest for a while now, and she had seemed too afraid to confront him about it. Or perhaps she didn't notice at all how much it bothered him?

He turned to face her, pretending everything was fine. He smiled at her.

"Yes master? What is it?"

But she knew him, and it'd be easy to cut through that facade and see that underneath that sea of cheerfulness and calm, Brahe was hurt and confused deeply about where he fit into life. He hadn't spoken about the nightmares or the cold, unnerving feeling he got whenever he was near dark side users.

@Algarus
 

Mila Tesara

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Jedi Knight

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Algarus
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He put on a smile, but she could sense how disingenuous it was. He threw himself into his work as a distraction, always seemed to be working on something to calm his mind. She had been a negligent mother to let this wound fester for so long and say nothing. Mila's head dipped just a tad. She had failed him as a master, having let him gone this far all because of her insecurities. "Brahe, I...I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately. Is something the matter?" She started, her tone shifting from the normal emotionless tone to the motherly one she often deployed in less than desirable situations. "Ever since we went to that temple, I've just felt a reluctance from you, like you've withdrawn. In all our time together, I've never felt such a thing from you, and now at times I can sense a distant cold about you." Mila knew all too well what that darkness was like, not too long ago she had found herself lost within it.

If her son was having these same fears, they would need to work through it together. She reached out towards him, taking his hand in her own as she went to her knees. "Brahe, I see you as my child in many ways, and I want to help you overcome this. If something is troubling you, please tell me." She almost was pleading with him, her eyes gazing into his own, as she could only hope he was willing to reach back out. "You're a brilliant and compassionate young man, I know that better than anyone. Whatever you saw in that temple, it wasn't you sweetie." Mila hadn't used that word in a long time, in fact she couldn't recall the last time she had muttered it.

@Noctyr
 

Brahe Sienar

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Noctyr
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"I...." Brahe hesitated, his voice crackling with emotion as he struggled to find the words to describe the plethora of emotions he felt. But at first, the words couldn't come. Action came first, as the padawan embraced Mila tightly, tears flowing into her shoulder as he cried, biting his lip to avoid making a noise. He was a Jedi, and unbridled emotion was not the mark of someone disciplined in the Jedi way. He reminded himself of that as he continued to hug Mila.

"I...I'm scared master....the force lightning I used....I got scared that you might die, and without thinking...it just...happened! I....I didn't want to lose you...."

Pulling back and blushing from the fact he was crying, he wiped his face a bit and took a deep breath.

"I've been having nightmares. Nightmares of everyone dying....and they feel real. And...I....after all that I've done trying to become the best Jedi I can be.....it's almost like the dark side is saying it was there in me all along regardless of what I've tried to do! I can't sleep at night- these visions keep plaguing me day in and day out! Am I really supposed to be a Jedi? I....I try so hard and yet...."

He sulked once again, giving in to another hug.

"I just don't want to lose you."

@Algarus
 

Mila Tesara

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Algarus
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She heard the cracking of his voice, and knew that he had been shouldering this pain for longer than he should have had to. She wrapped him up in a head, squeezing him tightly as she felt his grief take hold. She had done a terrible job of preparing him for knighthood, he wasn't ready for the trials, and he wasn't ready to grow up. He had a brilliant mind, a kind heart, and all of it was squandered by the mucking of his mentor. He feared losing her, but the silly child seemed to have forgotten there was no death, only the force. He had let emotion take hold time and time again, unable to let go, unable to see the bigger picture. He was tearing himself apart with his unbalance, his lack of focus, and yet he couldn't see that. Brahe was becoming his worst enemy, and it was all Mila's fault for that.

She had been far too lax in his upbringing. A shroud of shame now hung upon the jedi's shoulders, as she had to face the truth that she was the one behind her pupils anguish. "You'll never lose me Brahe. Even in death, I'm in with the force, and that will never not be the case." She started, holding his cheeks within the palms of her hands. "It hasn't been there all along Brahe, it's your own doubts that are tearing you apart from within. The darkness prays on that, looks to it. Don't let it in, because you are stronger than that. That darkness has the potential to take over any of us, even ourselves, if we give into it. But you're so much more than that." She spoke, her voice failing her as the emotion was starting to take over. As he came in for another hug, she would accept it from him. "Brahe, do you want to be a jedi? You don't have to be. There are other ways to help people if this isn't the life you want." The words burned her mouth like acid, as she winced upon hearing she had spoke them.

@Noctyr
 

Brahe Sienar

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Noctyr
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A relieved smile played across his face as she comforted him with her words. She really did know how to calm the kid down, even at an age one might consider one of peak rebellion. But then she questioned his desire to follow the Jedi path. As if something else was a better choice. But he couldn't fathom abandoning the order, not after his emphasis about not wanting to lose her. Truth be told, part of his fear of leaving the path of the Jedi was solely resting upon the thought that he might never see her again. That their adventures might stop, that he might have to go on his own. The thought was similar to losing her, and it terrified him.

Brahe hugged Mila even tighter, his eyes widening in shock.

"Of course I do, master! I...." He bit his lip, holding back more tears.

"I guess I just got really scared. But maybe....maybe it's time to take things more seriously...."

He took a deep breath, ending the hug and smiling a bit.

"You're right....I can't let this....darkness control me. I have to find a way to harness it positively."

@Algarus
 

Mila Tesara

Character
Jedi Order
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Jedi Knight

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Algarus
Joined
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Mila sighed as she could feel the storm of emotions washing over the young man, and knew that he was confused as to what way he was to proceed. Brahe would have to go on his own one day, he was no longer a child, and as much as that reality would be dreadful to him, it was an eventuality. "Brahe, one day you will need to make your own path. I can't be your master forever. That doesn't mean you won't see me again, and it doesn't mean that one day I'm going to abandon you. You need to grow up someday Brahe, you need to master that fear that you let hold sway over you." Mila held him tightly, feeling a crushing pressure upon her chest, knowing that her words might do him harm, but they needed to be said.

He spoke of harnessing the darkness, which was not at all what she needed to hear, he was going down a dangerous path, and she needed to divert it here and now. "Don't harness that darkness Brahe, you don't need it to give you strength, you have that strength within you." She placed a hand at the back of his head, sighing as he probably wouldn't understand. "I've walked in that darkness Brahe, and it is not something you want to dabble in. That darkness is what will cause you to lose me, that darkness is nothing but loneliness and abondonment. Do not tread that path, please. Promise you will not." Her tone weakened, sounding more like a plea than a request, but Mila knew all to well the route that path lead.

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