Ask Separate Wounds

[Aadya Rasheer]

Immediately following the battle of Dantooine​

The adrenaline of battle had all but completely faded from Aadya. It left her exhausted and only now did she realize the true levels of pain that were radiating throughout her body. Every step she took to match Raze's stride felt like she was getting stabbed in the ankle with a vibroknife, but Aadya refused to let herself falter. Not now, not in front of him.

Sith soldiers were already crawling over the Jedi base like ravenous beasts, tearing up anything not nailed down and hauling away whatever else looked important. It seemed even when the intent was the raze a building to the ground, gathering intelligence or artifacts still remained a top priority. Aadya wondered who's job it would be to sift through it all and thanked the force that at least it wouldn't be her.

Before long, the soldiers were dousing the entire facility in fuel until everything possible was completely saturated. Once everyone was out and at a safe enough distance, the spark was lit and the entire thing went up in a massive fireball. It burned as bright and as hot as a star in the center of a galaxy, the glow of the flames dancing in Aadya's eyes as she stood next to the Darth.

In all the ways it mattered, watching the Jedi base be reduced to nothing but ash and cinders gave Aadya a small sense of closure. It was as if the part of her that still lived in the past, that still thought maybe she had made so many regrettable mistakes in leaving the Jedi and finding the Sith had gone up with the blaze too. She watched it burn even as Raze left her, heading back to one of the ships. Aadya would linger for a few minutes more, her eyes narrow and her jaw clenched tight.

Eventually, Aadya would board the same ship as Raze and it would take off shortly thereafter - though to where, the acolyte had no idea. She would find him wherever he was, though she would check the his private quarters first. None of Aadya's wounds were life threatening, so she didn't find it prudent to get treatment before finding Raze.

Once reunited, she would search to match his gaze, her glance saying thank you when Aadya couldn't seem to get the words out of her mouth, unsure of how Raze would react to a display like that. She knew not all Sith were like her master and it didn't seem like a good idea to test it right now given her injuries and well, just her general preference of not wanting to be dead.

I'm not sure if-, Aadya started, the words getting stuck because they weren't the right ones. Could you feel us when we felt you? Aadya's voice was low but calm despite the nervousness pressing on her chest. She had never experienced the kind of things she had while fighting Clove and she hadn't stopped wondering if Raze knew what had happened to her after letting the tiny Jedi drag herself away. Is.. is that something you can teach me?

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

The Sith Lord was not one for pomp and flair and he was located in the medical quarters for now instead of his quarters. He leveraged these rooms just as any other soldier or Sith would. By the time Aadya approached, she would find him with the lower section of his helmet removed. With the kinds of injuries he had, he wanted to breathe properly without anything in the way. The lower hemisphere of his face was revealed in the form of a defined jawline with some stubble. Most prominent, however, was the faint trail of blood that ran down the corner of his mouth.

Raze did not respond to her immediately, his demeanor suggesting he hadn’t heard her at all. One of the attendants eyed her and attempted to silently tell her to leave. Raze was not known for his patience.

“Depends,” His deep baritone resounded after a moment with quite a bit of strain, “On whether or not you keep me alive,” He declared simply as he waved his attendants away. He grabbed a nearby med kit and tossed it at Aadya. He then jutted his chin down towards his injury - a still open wound where Hannibal’s saber had pierced the side of his abdomen. Plates of his armor had been removed there to reveal the terrible injury.

More blood dribbled out as Raze spoke and he reached over to place a cigarra between his lips with trembling fingers. The Force answered his command as he ignited the end with fire. The top of his visor gazed at Aadya as he drew in from the cigarra and blew out a cloud of smoke. The attendants he waved away stared open mouthed at the scene and the impossible amount of pressure suddenly placed on the acolyte.

@Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

The silence that hung in the air after she had spoken sent the ever so slightest chill down Aadya's spine. She supposed there was a chance that this had been a grave mistake. That maybe she should have gone to a different ship and left Dantooine, alone and with head filled with nothing but questions.

Despite that, the shadow of doubt creeping into her head was not cast upon Aadya's face. She ignored the attendant's silent ushering, instead leaving her eyes locked on Raze. After awhile, he finally spoke and somehow, the awkward potentially murderous silence from before seemed like a more welcome option compared to what she was faced with now.

Fine, Aadya said after catching the med kit Raze tossed to her. Her mouth had suddenly run as dry as the Great Dune Sea. I can probably do enough to keep you from dying, but you're not going to enjoy any second of it. The words sort of tumbled out of Aadya, a little run together and mumbled. She hoped it wouldn't be that obvious how nervous she was about what was going to happen.

Pulling over a stool next to Raze, Aadya opened the medkit and examined its contents. She recognized some of the basic stuff, though there sensors and instruments whose use she had no clue about. Pulling out an irrigation bulb, Aadya looked at Raze and shook her head slightly.

Gotta clean it out first. This is probably going to hurt.

Taking the bulb, Aadya squirted its liquid as deep into Raze's wound as she could. While Aadya didn't really know what kind of antiseptic was inside of it, it smelled so heavily of sterile alcohol it almost made her eyes water. While her hands were mostly steady, Aadya's heart was beating a mile a minute, thumping inside of her chest like a drum.

Be careful, drop a cherry down here and you'll light yourself on fire. All this shit is is just alcohol. Without thinking much about it, she grabbed a small plastic cup from a nearby table and held it up to Raze's cigarra, catching the long trail of ash that had started to form on the end of it.

You need to get into a tank, She said, pulling out and opening a bacta vial but pausing for a moment. To apply the medicine, Aadya was going to have to touch the Darth. Not just on his armor or something normal, but his bare abdomen. Great. Heads up, this stuff is usually cold as fuck.

Putting the bacta gel onto her hand, Aadya pressed it onto Raze's wound, maybe just a little harder than she needed to. She held it there for a moment, though Raze could probably feel her hands shaking just a bit from nervousness. Eventually she would pull away, shrugging her shoulders and giving Raze a small smile, unsure if what she had done would really even help.

Standing up, Aadya noticed the blood running from Raze's mouth. She wanted to wipe it off herself, but something told her that tending to the Darth like he was a sick child or an ailing lover might not be the best. Instead, she tossed him a small towel from the medkit, motioning towards the area on her own face and mouthing the words Little bit of blood.

She remained quiet now, her facial expression a strange swirl of nervous concern. Not just for Raze, but for herself.

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Raze, who had more of Emryc bleeding in now, was silent as the acolyte spoke and got to work. Right away he could tell she was a nervous talker, the realization causing the faintest tug of a grin at the corner of his lips. He pulled from the cigarra before exhaling a cloud, tilting his head away from her direction as she worked.

As the ashes fell, he went to manipulate them away with the Force. He paused, however, when she held up a makeshift ashtray. He didn’t bother holding it, letting it float mid air for him to dip when Aadya released it. As she worked against his torso, she would see the remnants of a lightning scar that was on his abdomen and extended further up to disappear above. It was enough to guess that he took the full brunt of lightning across his entire torso before.

“Aren’t you supposed to tell me this won’t hurt a bit?” He asked with a grin that revealed perfect teeth tinted with blood as he tilted his head back slightly to blow out another cloud. There was a sharp intake of breath when she applied the cleaning solutions, but he remained unmoving otherwise. He was used to pain, and he had stitched himself up countless times. Even then, this was one of the worst injuries he had and it would take several days in a tank.

He finished smoking by the time she was done, putting the remnants away in the cup and placing it aside. He took the towel from her and wiped his mouth off. He grabbed a nearby bottle of water and swished water around in his mouth to wash away that coppery taste.

He glanced down at her efforts, inspecting the bandaged wound, “Not bad,” The Sith Lord remarked quietly. If she wanted to use him for knowledge, he may as well put her to work. He paused for a moment as the visor tilted up towards her.

Without warning, the Force nudged into her to make her abruptly sit down a short distance across from him. Another chair rolled over and her injured leg was abruptly hoisted up to rest on the seat to elevate it, all without him moving a muscle. He jutted his chin at one of the attendants that immediately walked over to begin tending to her wound.

“I saw and felt everything,” He finally answered her, “Including where you completely and utterly fell apart,” He stated flatly.

@Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

Emryc's simple affirmation might have seemed insignificant to most people, maybe even casually condescending - but to Aadya, it meant a great deal. She had become accustomed to gestures and vibes from her master that signaled praise, very rarely was she met with actual words. It was nice, though the acolyte was still wise enough to know not to linger on it. It was just a "not bad," after all.

When Aadya felt the force press into her out of nowhere, she couldn't help but cock her chin up and raise an accusatory and questioning eyebrow as her ass was plopped into a nearby chair. The lizard part of her brain was teetering on the edge of panic, immediately assuming that this was the end of the road. She was dead, done, dusted.

But then Emryc commanded one of the attendants without uttering a word, telling them to start tending to Aadya's ankle. She narrowed her eyes at him, wanting to speak to him the way she spoke to others, even to Morgan sometimes. But the Firrerreo in Aadya knew when to goad the alpha and when to mind her place.

When Emryc spoke again, Aadya's jaw tightened. The heat of embarrassment by not being the solitary witness to her break down caused her chest to go flush beneath her armor. Her first instinct was to lie or attempt to brush it off, but it was quite evident there would be no point in that. Honesty seemed to be the only path ahead of her. Very unfortunate.

I've never hurt a Jedi like that before. She said before wincing slightly as the attendant moved her ankle to better assess the damage. Aadya's tone was calm and monotone, though it would probably sound just as forced to Raze as it was coming out of her mouth. I used to be one, you know.

Her eyes shot up to the Darth's, meeting only her own reflection its visor. This was the first time Aadya realized how horrible she looked; gaunt, harrowed, exhausted. Her hair was matted with sweat and dirt and blood. The knot in her cheek grew as Aadya's jaw tightened again.

I've hurt and even killed people before, but that Sephi girl was.. different. In her mind's eye, Aadya saw the fight between her and Clove play out again like a holovid. It seemed so vivid, almost like it were happening all over again.

Aadya's hand around Clove's throat.

Flash.

Lightning erupting from her fingertips.

Flash.

The never ending pit of despair she fell into like slipping past an event horizon.

Flash

Aadya shook the haze from her head and returned to the present, not having noticed her gaze had never left the Darth's the entire time her mind had been occupied far, far away.

I saw myself in her, Raze Aadya said abruptly, her voice cracking a little from her throat being so dry. And I tried to destroy her very spirit without a second thought. After I saw her broken, it was like I was too.

She paused for a moment, unsure if she wanted a real answer to her next question. But then Aadya thought that it didn't really matter, asking or not asking. Not knowing didn't make something not exist or untrue.

Am I just weak?

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

“Half Sephi,” Emryc cut in abruptly, seemingly unconcerned by her emotional wallowing. His tone, as usual, was its rigid baritone. Nevertheless, the way he sat there with the visor pointed in her direction made it clear he was listening to every word. Regardless of how frosty he came across, the Sith Lord always engaged those that addressed him if they were worthy of being in his presence. Aadya certainly had proven herself enough to earn an audience, “She was half Sephi.”

He didn’t have to delve into her mind to know the turmoil raging there. He had been there before himself when he led the attack on Ajan Kloss. He had a mask on, and he butchered younglings and padawans alike. While he had killed, it wasn’t till after that he completely collapsed under the weight of his actions.

“The enemy only carries as much weight as you assign them and project to them,” He explained after a moment of silence, “The notion that the half Sephi was different gave her far more power and weakened you as a result. But it was not her doing. It was your own. It was manufactured from your own insecurities.”

The Sith Lord tilted his head back as he reached for another cigarra. He knew he would have to sit in a tank for several days, but for now it was nice to sit and have a smoke.

“The first step towards changing is to acknowledge when you are weak,” He said quietly after exhaling a cloud of smoke, “So yes, you were weak. Where do your values lie? What drives you to stand against the Jedi? Because if the answer is petty vengeance, you will feel weak every single time you go into combat.”

@Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

Emryc's initial response received not much but a raised eyebrow from Aadya. She found it curious that such a tiny detail - whether someone was a Sephi or half - was worth rectifying. It didn't seem prudent or, to be frank, to really matter at all within the context of the whole conversation. But perhaps that was the point, a lesson hidden somewhere she was supposed to find.

And then again, maybe not and Aadya was just grasping at smoke like she did sometimes. She was desperate for answers and wanting to find them anywhere. So much so that Aadya didn't want to open her hand to simply find she had caught nothing.

You might be right, Aadya said, her voice quiet but still very clear. I think I wanted the half-Sephi, She made sure to emphasize it, eyebrow arching again. to be my destination, but she was merely a stop on the line.

She sighed slightly and shook her head like you do when you come to a realization that should have been so obvious from the start.

Maybe I made her into everything I hate about myself. To put a face on all of my insecurity. To finally kill the misguided hope that one day, maybe I could go back, if I needed to. She paused for a minute, eyes narrowing in self reflection. Letting all of that go was a lot harder than I would have thought. But after, I realized something. What I was left with was freedom. Losing that hope was freedom. And I knew then, I never wanted to go back.

Her eyes scanned the Darth down and up before coming back to rest on his visor. Revenge? No, I don't think so. Not anymore. Aadya said matter-of-factly, like telling someone the time. I stand against the Jedi because the Jedi seek to destroy the only people and the only place that I've ever actually felt like I belonged with and belonged to. For better or for worse, the Sith Order is my home, and its members my people.

It probably sounded stupid, but Aadya didn't care. She knew that most people thought the Sith were nothing but backstabbing, petty, rage filled monsters. She knew different, though. Aadya's thoughts drifted to Morgan for a moment before returning to the present.

The attendant had finished patching up and setting her ankle in a simple splint, a good sign it wasn't broken and only sprained. Aadya left her eyes on Raze, unsure of what was meant to happen now.

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

The Sith Lord silently listened as she spoke. Even with the lower hemisphere of his face revealed, there was no change in expression. There was no reaction or movement save for him pulling from the new cigarra and calmly exhaling. Moments of silence ticked by after she spoke as he moved to ash the cigarra.

“Is that so?” The rich baritone queried. At that very moment, her world would go abruptly dark. She would suddenly see countless memories whirling all around her. She would see faces, feel emotions, the good, bad and painful. She would see smiles she had seen before, some polite and distant, others warm. She would see the orphanage, the other kids. She would see setting foot inside a Jedi temple for the first time. She would see the disappointment in the faces of her masters. She would see Stolas. She would see Morgan. She would see her own feelings and her own sense of self doubts. She would see all of the memories and feel the sensations whizzing all around her like a rapidly spinning film reel.

As she saw all this, there would be a sick and twisted realization. That she wasn’t seeing this alone.

She would feel another presence that had been watching and perceiving it all along with her. She would be powerless in resisting the onslaught, the blatant breach of her privacy, her mind and thoughts ruthlessly and mercilessly read like an open book. She would watch as someone else turned each page and took their time poring over the words. And through it all she stood at a distance, helpless and unable to stop it.

Aadya would be back in the present abruptly, likely extremely shaken but still in her seat. She would see Raze across from her, still calmly smoking as if nothing happened.

“Because it appears to me that your only anchor is your precious teacher,” The corners of his lips began to curl towards a cruel grin. He emphasized exactly the word that Stolas repeatedly corrected her on. The word that habitually reminded her of the barrier that would permanently exist there. Raze knew exactly the kind of dagger he threw.

He exhaled a cloud of smoke, “If you wish for me to teach you what I did on the battlefield, you need to understand and accept the gravity of what it is that you will be doing to others,” His tone was frost. He had unraveled her in every sense of the word. She was naked and bare down to her soul, her mind completely breached by him without a moment’s hesitation. Was this a power she could dare venture to learn?

@Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

Every second of silence between Aadya and Raze felt like infinity. Her eyes stared at him intently, flicking between his face and his cigarra and back, her thoughts racing between indignation and insecurity. The smoke that hung in the air between them stung Aadya's eyes but she didn't blink.

And then, after an eternity, Raze spoke and Aadya felt as she had slipped from this world and was plunged into some kind of nightmare.

It played before her eyes like a holovid set to two times speed. Faces she knew and faces she didn't played in front of her, each one bringing an emotion with it that Aadya felt to her core. Some we good, like the warm smile of the matron at the orphanage. Others, only revulsion, hate, disgust - there were more of these than the others.

Suddenly Aadya was in the orphanage and it made her smile, but only for a moment. Soon the good memory was tainted and changed to one where she felt hopeless, powerless to stop anything. She watched as a gang raided her childhood home, snatching up any kid they could catch to meet their quota for slaves.

Then the Temple, taking hopeful steps into a new life. But the only thing Aadya found inside were the disappointed looks from her Masters when she failed to meet their expectations. An onslaught of resentment struck Aadya in the chest, like she were experiencing it first hand all over again. Resentment that festered into rage, rage that erupted in abandoning the one good thing that had ever happened to her.

And then she saw Morgan, her teacher, her only friend. Morgan with walls erected around everything he didn't allow her to see. She wanted to reach out to him but she couldn't. Aadya wanted to hate him, to force him to shed his barriers and let her in.. but she couldn't.

The maelstrom of emotions churning inside Aadya suddenly gave way to a single feeling of dread, her face running hot with embarrassment and fury. Watching this movie of her life, every scene and every fucking detail, Aadya was not alone. And even through that eked a feeling of desperate hopelessness, because she knew there was nothing she could do to stop it.

As suddenly as it had come, Aadya felt herself fall back through the abyss, the world around her fading back in to view. Her chest rose and fell sharply and sweat beaded down her forehead, though her eyes were hyper-focused on Raze. Raze, the invader of everything Aadya would never tell anyone. Raze, the motherfucker who threw daggers.

Aadya was on her feet before she realized what she as doing, standing so fast she sent the chair she was sitting on jetting back on its wheels and into a counter. Her jaw clenched tightly, fangs bared slightly, a low growl rumbled in her throat. She wanted to attack him, to press her fist into the wound she'd just bandaged, reach in and rip out the first organ she could find.

For the shortest of seconds she considered it, but Aadya was not an idiot. So she only imagined it, memorized it and stored it away for later. Her jaw unclenched but she did not bother returning to her seat. Because she understood the point he was trying to make. Through the fog of anger and violation she saw Raze and she understood.

I accept it. She said, unable to keep the tinge of contempt she had for Raze in this moment from seeping into her tone. And I don't need Darth Stolas to know that the Sith is where I belong.

Aadya had never said something like that before, but in the deepest part of her she knew that she wasn't lying. What she had experienced during the fight, and in the minutes where Raze had breached her memories, had changed many things for her, it seemed.

Jedi weren't the only things going to be left dead and buried on the battlefield of Dantooine.

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

---​

Emryc had ordered Aadya to make her way over to an urban city, if for no reason other than the sheer amount of people. Taris fit the bill perfectly, and he had asked her to arrive at one of the wealthier districts. The half Sephi wasn’t in his normal armor, opting for more standard mercenary armor and a helmet that spared him from being instantly recognized. He was still as imposing as ever, however, towering over most.

He almost expected the girl not to show. He knew he had messed with her mind back on Dantooine, and he was entirely unapologetic about it. He saw the way she looked at him, felt the rage pulsing within her, and she would have seen the tug of a smile at the corner of his lips as he drew from that cigarra. Those were memories that wouldn’t leave her so easily, and yet it was still her call on whether or not she showed.

The Sith Lord was punctual as always, waiting at an intersection facing the district. There was a festival going on, the place teeming with people. He quietly eyed the families and individuals walking around, observing everyone and listening to the music that filled the air.

The half Sephi could sense her before she even arrived, and he didn’t turn to face her. His arms were crossed over his chest as he gazed out, “Do you remember your teachings as a Jedi?” He asked loud enough only for her to hear, “The ones that focused on calming and clearing your mind through meditation.”

@Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

Aadya had sat in the cockpit of her ship for a long time after she'd arrived on Taris. Normally, her mind would have been an absolutely chaotic mess of thoughts, each coming in before the one before it had time to even be processed.

For some reason, though, her brain was quiet. She stared out of the viewport with the kind of absent minded gaze you'd see on the faces of people too ripped on spice to know what year it was. Emryc had asked her to meet him here after their little meeting in the medbay.

Sometimes when Aadya started to doze off to sleep, she would see Raze's smirk shimmer behind her eyes. The way he just smiled so self-assured, so unapologetic after putting himself inside of her mind without consent. It still pissed her the fuck off, that smirk. What an asshole.

There was never a doubt in her mind that she would show up to the meeting on Taris, though. Aadya had come to many conclusions after Dantooine, and the one she was most sure about is that she needed Raze to teach her whatever he was willing to. She needed it more than she needed a lot of other things, and Aadya was willing to do almost anything to get what she needed.

As she approached, Aadya recognized Raze's frame, even from behind. Apparently he could sense her too, as he started speaking before she even told him she was there.

Yes, I do. She said coolly, walking up and standing to the side of the Sith Lord. It was almost comical how much larger he was than her. One of the few lessons that actually proved useful.

Looking out, Aadya watched the people celebrating at the festival. Sometimes she wished she could be like them - oblivious, happy, simple. It would make life so much easier.

Why?

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

He said nothing for a few moments, helmet silently surveying the crowd. He was inwardly impressed and surprised at her answer. Most former Jedi brushed off every lesson they had learned during their time as Jedi as ‘inferior’. That Aadya found value in them meant she was already a few steps ahead. Naturally, none of this materialized to the surface. He was as detached and cool as ever, gaze trained ahead.

“Mental clarity is required at all times for this path of study,” He explained after a few moments, “Your mind has to be a blank canvas upon which you paint only things of your purposeful design. No other thoughts can color it. No distractions or doubts can layer it,” He meditated as often as he exercised, and he did it for days after battles.

Raze focused on his target, having finally identified one. He nudged his chin towards a woman walking with her very young daughter. The girl was walking with balloons and the mom was pointing out lights to her giggling girl.

“I want to see the mother abandon the child and leave the festival area,” He stated simply, “But you may not forcefully compel her to do so.”

It required a lot of creativity and finesse, and he didn’t expect her to fully succeed at it. Nevertheless, the challenge was presented. It remained to be seen whether her own moral dilemmas would interject or not.

@Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

If ridding her mind of extraneous nonsense was a simple task for Aadya she would probably have a lot less problems in her life, if she were being honest. There were few times that the young Firerreo's thoughts weren't racing behind her eyes like neon advertisement banners in the Coruscant red light district.

Before she could could say much Raze had moved on and what he said next elicited a raised eyebrow and a glance up from Aadya. A faint hint of confusion would paint her features for the slimmest of moments. Turning her attention to the mother, Aadya considered just what Raze expected of her, or how she would even go about attempting his request. Or maybe it was a demand? She was never really sure.

Her own moral inhibitions were probably a bigger issue than her actual aptitude at this point. Aadya was an orphan, she knew what it was like to not have parents. How frightening and lonely and agonizing and horrible it was - and she had never even known hers. She only imagined the feelings that would course through the small girl if her mother actually deadass abandoned her in the middle of a festival would be infinitely worse than that.

She rationalized it that it would be only temporary, or that it probably wouldn't even work anyway. Fuck, she was already doing the opposite of what Raze had asked her. Okay, ethical reservations aside, it was time to focus. Fuck.

With a huff of breath, Aadya shook out all of the thoughts rambling around in her brain as best she could. Blank canvas. Only the brush strokes she intended. Clarity of body and spirit.. or something.

Turning her gaze to the woman, Aadya considered what might make her abandon her own child. Exploiting a fear might work, maybe if she imagined the little hand she was holding was attached to something horrific..

Aadya attempted to reach into the woman's mind, to read it beyond what simmered on the surface.. but she couldn't seem to. The more she tried the harder it seemed to be, like her thoughts were closing the draw bridge, hardening the castle walls. A hint of doubt crept into the back of Aadya's mind, maybe she wasn't as smart as she thought she was..

And then a flash of pain right behind her eye broke all of her focus. She had tried too hard, or the woman subconsciously lashed out, she wasn't sure. All she knew was it felt like someone had stabbed her in the brain with a needle.

Shit, She said, brining her hand and rubbing her temple. Sorry, She mumbled and immediately regretted it. A habit that was hard to break, left over from her childhood.

What do you do to center yourself? She asked, trying to move on from the unintended apology. I want to try again, but I'd rather not scramble my brains this time.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Raze]

If Raze was disappointed with the performance, it didn’t rise to the surface. He watched the woman in question, a sudden uncomfortable and flustered look on her face. She looked around herself and clutched her child’s hand tighter before quickly shuffling away from the fair. Through it all, the Sith Lord remained perfectly silent, keeping his gaze trained ahead.

“You will not try again,” The modulated voice said curtly. Raze turned and began to walk, but he jutted his chin to encourage Aadya to walk with him. It was near impossible to tell what opinion he held or if he planned to kill her for her failures. It was always the same, cold helmet and barrier between her and the face hidden behind it.

“The reason I asked about your Jedi teachings is because you have all the tools you need to center yourself,” He explained after a moment of walking, “The Jedi teach you to let go of your attachments. The Sith teach you to exploit your emotions to fuel your strength. You must converge both teachings.”

He turned to regard her, coming to a stop as they arrived at a clearing far from anyone. He eyed her for a moment before he spoke, “You must acknowledge every weakness you have and remember them well,” His own back was riddled with countless scars, each one a self inflicted wound to remind him of every way he had been weak. And the journey in overcoming the weakness.

“You will carve upon your body a mark for every way you are weak. Guilt, love, doubt, empathy. Feel the pain of it. Feel the agony of it. So when you fall back to it, there is a reminder of when you are weak and what you need to overcome. Use the pain to then push yourself through it. Do so until you don't feel the pain anymore, and then you will know you control when those emotions rise. And they cannot control you without warning."

It was what Tiamat had done as well. Raze paused for a moment before he continued, “Finding center is knowing where you are weak and knowing how to rise above it when needed and when you don’t need to,” The second part of what he said would perhaps be a surprise for Aadya. It implied she was free to love, empathize, everything else as much as she wanted, but she needed strict control over when to completely switch it all off.

“To pretend we have no human emotions is folly. It is a matter of being the master of your mind. You and only you.”

@Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

A part of Aadya wanted to argue with Raze, to challenge why she couldn't or shouldn't get to try again. If it were Stolas in front of her she probably would, but Aadya was smart enough to read the room. This probably wasn't the correct time to climb triumphantly to the top of a hill just to die on it.

Still, she couldn't help but let her lips curl into a grimace, her nostrils flaring slightly in annoyance. Aadya followed Raze as he motioned for her to do so, quickening her stride to keep pace side-by-side with the much taller, longer-legged man.

Aadya remained quiet as Raze spoke, listening intently to the words he spoke. Most of the time when people spouted their beliefs in force doctrine to her, Aadya never felt as if they fit her, they were never quite the answers she was looking for. In contrast, Raze's words resonated with her, they made sense.

And then he got to the carving part. Dark brown eyes flicked to where Raze's, or at least where they would be if not obscured behind his mask. Aadya's gaze hung there for a long moment, though the Darth would not see fear in those eyes or hesitation on her face. A face that almost resembled the one staring back at her; unyielding, stoic, resolute.

Me and only me. She said, slipping off the jacket she'd been wearing, revealing a sleeveless shirt underneath. Me and only me.

Reaching into her back pocket, Aadya took out a flip blade she often carried out of habit. Opening the blade, Aadya brought it up to her arm, just below her shoulder. The slightest twitch of apprehension gave her a moment of pause but Aadya pushed through it. She wasn't going to turn back now.

Self doubt. She said, pressing the blade into her skin. The wound was thin but deep, crimson blood pooling and flowing down her arm.

Despite her best efforts, the corners of Aadya's eyes began to well, the pain causing tears to slowly drip along her cheeks.

Guilt.

Another cut, deeper than the last one.

Failure.

Slice.

Showing mercy.

Slice. In place of a cry of pain, gritted teeth and slowly drying eyes.

Guilt.

Slice.

The pain Aadya's arm was incredible. But mixed in with that pain she felt absolution. With every cut another link in her chains grew weaker, but Aadya knew it would take more than this for them to become truly broken. She brought her eyes back up to Raze's, the tear tracks on her cheeks having dried to almost invisible trails of salt.

Aadya sliced her arm one more time, though this weakness she did not speak out loud. That weakness was codependency, always yearning for the approval of those she looked up to. She was not doing this for Raze or for Stolas or for the Sith. Above anything else, Aadya now knew she was doing this for one person and one person only.

Me and only me.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Raze]

Raze watched in silence as she took her jacket off and took out a weapon right there. There was no denying that a large part of him was both surprised and impressed by the display. He had expected her to be a lot of tough words like most young acolytes. However, she didn’t hesitate, carving the new wounds into her body as she uttered her weaknesses. As she did so, he could hear his own voice resounding in his mind.

Guilt.

Showing mercy.

Guilt.

Guilt.

His own voice, the voice of a child, and then a teenager echoed within his mind. It blended with Aadya’s voice. He could sense the pain she felt, the sensation almost intoxicating to him. The wounds on his back surged with life, old pains throbbing and reminding him of the path he had chosen. The path that ultimately helped him become one of the most powerful Force users in the galaxy. But what had been the cost?

Raze took a step forth, the Force gathering as every wound burned and seared on Aadya. The pain would be pure agony, but it would ensure the wounds always left a mark, a deep reminder. They would also be injected with darkness to where she would feel that searing pain whenever she fell into her weaknesses. The Sith Lord had no mercy, digging into the wounds till they were a permanent part of her. He drew his hand back and gazed at her for a moment.

“There is no going back,” The modulated voice spoke quietly, “Your trial, when you are ready, will be to seek out the source of one of these weaknesses. A failure you have experienced in the past. You will then overcome that failure and satisfy what you could not before.”

Raze eyed her quietly, “For now, you will call upon your Jedi teachings and meditate to calm your mind. You will let go of every last troubling or distracting thought. You will surrender yourself to your mind entirely.”

He spun on his heel and began walking away then, “Find me on Korriban when you are ready to make that saber truly yours.”

@Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

The idea that the pain in her arm couldn't possibly get worse seemed to be a fool's opinion as Raze manipulated the darkside, searing the wounds permanently onto Aadya's skin. It was excruciating, time almost seemingly stand still until the Sith Lord was finally done with his merciless display.

Aadya's knees nearly buckled while she weathered the storm, but through sheer force of will the young acolyte forced herself to remain standing. Her gaze never left Raze, the narrowed eyes of determination hovering somewhere between daring him for more and resentment it wasn't over.

When she was finally released and the Darth began to speak, Aadya remained quiet. The only response Raze would receive would be a nod of her head, so at least he knew that she understood his instruction.

Aadya watched him turn and leave but had no intention of trying to follow. She knew what she was meant to do. For now, she simply sat on the ground, crossing her legs beneath her. Meditation was never rally her strong suit but clearly it was time for that to change.

Aadya closed her eyes as the force swirled around her, an angry tempest that needed to be tamed.

/end thread
@Sreeya