Under Review Jedi Order Marik Kaan

RVFVS

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Marik Kaan


NAME: Marik Kaan
FACTION: Jedi Order
RANK: Jedi Knight
SPECIES: Human of Coruscant heritage
AGE: 25
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: 6 ft
WEIGHT: 200lbs
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes


Biography


Marik Kaan was born to Saul and Malia Kaan on the quiet rural planet of Dantooine. The Kaan family were no people of particular wealth or stature within the Dantooine farming community and had a hard life. Compared to the surrounding farms, their land was unsuitable to the local crops and while Saul toiled to make ends meet, Malia took odd jobs such as cleaning and laboring as well as assisting Saul with the running of the farm. Their life was not a happy one.

Frustrated by his life, Saul turned to spice and spirits to help him get through the nights. By the time Marik was born the Kaan family could barely hold onto their farm as Saul Kaan and those before him had slowly made the already badly placed farm even less profitable through mismanagement. To add to the issue, Saul was a notorious gambler, whore monger and general hedonist. He regularly beat his small wife, who had been a prostitute prior to Saul marrying her, and was falling deeper into drug and alcohol addiction with each passing day.

One fateful day, Saul was informed that he was unable to continue renting the land he farmed and as such he would be evicted within a week. Angry and casting blame at his wife and child, Marik, who was no older than five at the time, he entered into a substance fueled rage and brutally beat Malia. Marik, who was terrified of his father and deeply loved his caring mother, attacked Saul in defense of Malia. What happened next is not widely known. What is known is the next day the nearby farms saw billows of smoke on the horizon and when investigated it was discovered the Kaan home had been utterly destroyed, burnt to the ground. Amidst the destruction lay Marik, eyes raw with tears, and the burnt bodies of Saul and Malia Kaan.

Marik was given to the local authorities who placed him in an orphanage. There he stayed for five years, in that time, however, he began to display abilities that defied logic. When happy, Marik seemed more at tune with the world, his endurance was greater, his reflexes were sharper than the other children his age. When angry, however, he could cause destruction and during a schoolyard fight Marik injured several boys badly, almost killing one. The overseer of the orphanage contacted the New Republican administration who in turn contacted the Jedi. As an orphan he was taken by Jedi Master Umbrael M'Khot, a human Jedi Master who toured orphanges throughout the galaxy looking for children who, like Marik, show the ability to use and feel the force. Master Umbrael took a shine to Marik immediately, seeing in him a certain raw energy that, if directed, could greatly benefit the new Jedi Order. Thus, it was that Marik Kaan last surviving member of the Kaan family of Coruscant, was trained to be a Jedi Knight.

Marik grew to be a promising, if rash student. He had a natural ability that was certain to Master Umbrael, but he lacked restraint. He grew frustrated easy and often took what Umbrael saw as the easy, simpler solution to problems rather than the best thought out one. Despite this, Umbrael, who had had a wild streak himself when he was young, grew to love Marik as his own son, seeing much of his young self in the boy. He tried to temper Marik's worst traits and bring out more of his positive emotions and personality aspects. Marik was on track to become a promising Jedi Knight. However, Marik was unsatisfied with his training. He dedicated himself to his training and in his studies discovered the history of the Jedi of old. He was particularly interested in the old Jedi wars. He reveled in the little knowledge of Revan that was avaliable and he took particular interest in the story of one Anakin Skywalker and his exploits during the Clone Wars. Master Umbarel was deeply concerned about his desire to study these two conflicts and individuals key to said conflict, namely because both of the Jedi who Marik took such interest in fell to the Dark Side and arose as Sith Lords. Umbrael acted and forbade Marik from studying any except his chosen curriculum, most of which included Jedi acts of philanthropy and diplomacy.

Marik was furious at Umbrael for what he saw as a deliberate attempt to hide knowledge and hold Marik back from achieving his true potential. It was around this time that Marik came into contact with a self-styled historian named Ungol. Marik would often explore Ajan Kloss of his own accord, eager to experience life outside of the Jedi temple and it was there, supposedly by chance he bumped into Ungol. The mysterious man claimed he was a amateur Jedi historian here to document the rise of the new order as well as contrast it with that of the old. Ungol knew much about the Jedi histories and offered to impart his knowledge of the past onto Marik in exchange for knowledge of the goings on inside the temple. Marik jumped at the chance and he spent many evenings pouring over old tomes and ancient texts from the past. What Marik did not know was that Ungol was an agent of the Sith Eternal.

For years Ungol shaped Marik's understanding of the Jedi, even as he became a fully fledged Jedi Knight, slowly bringing him to the conclusion that the fundamental flaw of the Jedi order, new and old, was its lack of desire to be more than essentially just an order of peace keepers. Marik came to believe that the Jedi, so content in being peacekeepers and to work with the peoples of the galaxy repeat the same cycle. The cycle of creation, rise, stagnate and fall. The sole reason for this being that the Jedi allow others to have control over their destiny. The Jedi were destroyed by the Sith because they allowed the Republic to dominate the. Kylo Ren and his First Order could have been stopped early on if only Master Luke had acted on what he considered his moment of weakness and struck the boy down, not in anger but in defense of countless of innocents who died at Ren's hand. The Jedi will always fail because they place limitations on themselves, limitations that unnecessarily cause the death of millions and the core weakness of the Jedi themselves. Yes, the Jedi must rule the galaxy if there is to be peace.

Personality and Possessions
Marik Kaan could be vain, reckless and at times he showed signs of arrogance but he was also loyal, protective and helpful to his fellow Jedi. He also had a hunger for knowledge that most padawan learners rarely exhibited, spending long hours in the archives reading the Jedi histories. He was also a skilled with a lightsaber, eager to take after his heroes the Jedi Revan and Anakin Skywalker.

However, Marik's core fault is his deep desire to do better. His father's abuse and his mother's death deeply scarred Marik, inflicting on him a sense that he could always do better if he continually pushed himself. He would practice his saber skills during down time and study late into the night. When his master forbade his studying of what was viewed as inappropriate material, Marik immediately sought out another way to gain said knowledge and came across the Sith Eternal follower Ungol who warped his mind through years of influence and bias.

Now, Marik has come to the conclusion that force sensitives, particularly Jedi had a duty to the galaxy to seize control and use their powers to ensure the rule of law and justice. In Marik's mind the sole failure of the Jedi has always been their restraint in the realm of control, always content to operate in the background for the sake of political niceties. Marik believes those that control the force are meant to rule those who cannot, otherwise why would they have command of such power?

Items
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Jedi Knight Robes
Blue Lightsaber
Starlight Class Light Freighter
DC-17 Blaster pistol


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Faster Than Light

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6. Character profiles are at or UNDER 1500 words for any one section of the profile when submitting for approval.
  • People are encouraged to add more content to their profiles with things accomplished via roleplay and they can keep adding to their bio after approval
Character Rules

With your biography clocking in at 3.387 words, I'm going to have to ask that your bio be trimmed per the above. When you do so I'll be able to review the character. And please make sure all the other requirements are on there too., I don't see weight/height .etc .etc at a glance.
 

RVFVS

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Got a bit carried away. Will scale it down.
 

RVFVS

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I split up the bio so that it has a family background as well as a bio. Still over 1500 words but I really don't see how I can trim it down without altering the actual story. Let me know what you think.

EDIT: Removed the Duel with Umbrael, I will role play that out as a solo thread.
 
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Eden

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Hey @RVFVS, just thought I'd let you know I really doubt your separating the bio into two sections going to fly. The rules are in place so that mods don't have to spend a lifetime going over each and every character, and when each player wants 1500+ word long bios in their Character Profile (and many do) it makes the process substantially slower.

If you must keep your family background, I think your best bet would be to start on a lore writeup on the Kaan family using parts of that text you've already written.

. . .​

Also, as of this timeline, it has been established that no Jedi has fallen since Ben Solo, so I don't think you can have that in a bio. It may be allowed if you play it out in a character plot, but even then it will likely require several threads.

. . .​

To be completely honest, I think the paragraph in which Umbrael traces Marik's bloodline near the end of your bio would be best removed. It is not dramatically important whether or not he has Sith blood, and likely wouldn't matter much to Umbrael as a Jedi. All. you really need to say is something as simple as, "Umbrael sensed a darkness brewing in his padawan..." to justify his fear that his padawan is turning to the dark side. On top of that, anything about a Darth (let alone an entire Sith family) other than Sidious existing up to the Battle of Jakku would not be permitted. That is a canon time period, and is generally off-limits, considering canon in that era is still changing and evolving via films, books, and TV shows. Plus, there is nothing to suggest any Sith Lords aside from Palpatine were alive at that point.

. . .​

In conclusion, I think your best bet is copying your current character profile to a backup in your workshop, making the above suggested changes, and then seeing if @Faster Than Light can help with anything else out of place.

If I'm wrong on any of this, I'm more than willing to be picked up on it, and I am sure FTL will do so. But if you want to get approved sooner, I believe you have a substantialy better chance if you make these changes. But ultimately, it's up to you. These are all just suggestions.
 
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Faster Than Light

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I think I'll have to echo what Eden said. I thank you for your willingness to make edits. Although, I will have say no splitting the biography sections (family history/actual character bio) it's still content that has to be reviewed.

It might be a best (and easier) to leave off anything that doesn't pertain to the character itself. The first part could probably be posted in chronicles or maybe personal lore as the above poster advised.

I haven't read the bio itself fully yet, but but from what I read from the post above: Yes, no Jedi since Ben Solo have fell. And in regards to the Sith: There no other Sith during the Rule of Two era (if that's what the biography has?) and characters are not related/descended from high-ranking people (like Darths)

Anyways, once the word count situation is fixed (taking out what doesn't focus on the character would probably be the best way) I can review the profile properly. And I'd see about making edits to adjust the other issues while you are at it so approval will go easier.
 

RVFVS

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Thanks for the pointers guys, I will sit down with this and do a large edit to make things work better.

I will need some confirmation though at to whether I am allowed to have my character be a fallem Jedi or if thats forbidden as of now.

In terms of the Kaan family being descended from Sith Lords, we are talking about going back far into the Old Republic era, when the Sith Empire ruled Coruscant. I'm not sure if that is allowed either?
 

TWD26

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Thanks for the pointers guys, I will sit down with this and do a large edit to make things work better.

I will need some confirmation though at to whether I am allowed to have my character be a fallem Jedi or if thats forbidden as of now.

In terms of the Kaan family being descended from Sith Lords, we are talking about going back far into the Old Republic era, when the Sith Empire ruled Coruscant. I'm not sure if that is allowed either?
Characters cannot currently start out as fallen jedi. I don't have access to discord currently, but it was asked prior. As FTL stated, no Jedi have fallen from the Jedi since Ben Solo, so it would not be possible for your character to be a fallen Jedi at this time.

As for the latter part of your question, personally it would be so hard to even trace your lineage back that far. The sith died off with Palpatine in Rise of Skywalker, and with several Jedi Purges, Empire Changes, the clone wars, rule of 2, etc. It would probably be nearly impossible to trace your exact lineage back to a specific person. But, that's just my opinion.
 

RVFVS

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Ok so I revamped it so that Marik is going to remain a Jedi for the time being, albeit one with unique views on the Jedi and their role in the Galaxy. Please take a look through and let me know that you guys think.
 

TWD26

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How open is he about his views on the Jedi leading and ruling the galaxy? Right now Revan in canon is a Sith Lord, but we don't know if he was Jedi.

Our Canon is slightly different from what happened in Wookieepedia as we have three timelines of Old Republic Lore that this is based off of. Myself and the other Jedi are currently trying to collect information on our Jedi counterparts of the Old Republic timeperiod as we don't know anything about them.

As for the Anakin Skywalker, I'm not really sure lore wise where we stand on that. My character only really knows that the Jedi were much more strict during the clone wars, but knows little about the specifics. A lot of us Jedi's knowledge really begins with Rey and Ben. The big question I would have as a Jedi is, if the Council knows about his feelings on their flaws and his desire for the Jedi to rule the galaxy, it would be hard pressed for them to allow him to be a knight.

I would look into that, and would maybe change some stuff around about the old republic time period. But, that's just my own non-mod opinion. Otherwise it looks good, and I look forward to having my teacher work with you and help your character through his struggles.
 

RVFVS

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He doesn't share them openly, on the outside he seems like a normal, if at time reckless Jedi Knight. I'm going to go through and clarify a few more things regarding his views, which are at the core of the character and how he will move forward. The Ungol cracater is going to be a PC as well and his views on the matter are equally strange as while he is a Sith cultist he, as Marik does now, ultimately believes that the terms Sith and Jedi are archaic and have no place in the new galaxy that Ungol has envisioned, which is basically with force sensitives in complete control.

Ya, I've tried to keep track of the old time lines but if I've missed something I'll change it.
 

TWD26

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Are you going to be playing Ungol or is another player?

The only complication I could see is if you do have Marik fall to the darkside, you'll need the help of other players. But, otherwise if you need any details about certain things just hit me up here or PM me or DM me on Discord and I'll try to help you out.
 

RVFVS

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Will do I appreciate it. Ungol is going to be a separate character that I use in the Sith Eternal, I don't think I will necessarily have Marik fall the Darkside, right away at least, and I think he will come to realize that Ungol is a Sith and choose to try to reform the Jedi from within. If that leads to him eventually going over to the Sith, I'll let that happen naturally. And thanks, will do!
 

TWD26

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Will do I appreciate it. Ungol is going to be a separate character that I use in the Sith Eternal, I don't think I will necessarily have Marik fall the Darkside, right away at least, and I think he will come to realize that Ungol is a Sith and choose to try to reform the Jedi from within. If that leads to him eventually going over to the Sith, I'll let that happen naturally. And thanks, will do!
Sounds great! Hit me up, and we can thread with my Jedi :)
 

Faster Than Light

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Backstory looks a lot better. Liking the stories about Revan seems strange, considering we know literally nothing about who he is in canon other than the fact he existed because a Final Order legion was named after him.

eager to take after his heroes the Jedi Revan
This will need to be nixed for sure. As mentioned we know nothing about him other than him being a Sith Lord and canon could give him a totally different backstory if they decide to expand on it.

Other than that, backstory looks fine. The only other thing I will have to say is that the blaster and ship need links to write-ups in the tech boards.
 

RVFVS

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Ok will edit.
 
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