Tabloid Kashyyyk Confirms Sen. Aezzairrfhowrrhudrrl is Recovering After Recent Health Scare

[The Storyteller]

In a statement released to the public earlier today, Senator Aezzairrfhowrrhudrrl's office confirmed that the Senator suffered an unexpected health event, and that he is recovering at a local hospital. Authorities credit the Senator's personal translator droid for "creating such an annoying and persistent screeching sound that it could not be ignored", which eventually led to a wellness check on the aged Senator that ended with him being rushed to a nearby hospital.

Aezzairrfhowrrhudrrl, 421, faced numerous challenges to his physical wellbeing during his senate race, with opponents noting that he is among the oldest ever to seek office in Kashyyyk's history. However, the Senator was famously quoted, in one particularly spirited exchange, as being "never too old for the galaxy's nerf****" and "still quite able to kick a Trandoshan's ***".

The Senator's office also confirmed that Aezzairrfhowrrhudrrl has no plans to step down as Kashyyyk's governor, noting that the popular incumbent is comfortably leading in recent reelection polls and citing his commitment to leading the people of Kashyyyk through times of galactic turmoil. According to a spokeswookiee, "The people of Kashyyyk elected Senator Aezzairrfhowrrhudrrl to represent them on the galactic stage, and he has every intent of fulfilling that duty".

 

[Galek Ordalos]

There was no denying it - Galek really was having a fantastic day. News of the recent mass exodus from the New Republic had only just been announced across the HoloNet a few hours prior, and the Induparan prince was still taking in the news himself. In one fell swoop, roughly thirty-five percent of the entire Republic had rushed into the arms of the Consortium - bringing all the wealth and prosperity of the Core with them.

With Mon Cala’s own entrance into the ISC only days prior, it was the second reason that Galek - almost always consumed with the day-to-day functions of his position - had carved out a portion of his day to relax. And celebrate.

Gods, the next Senate session is going to be good.

It was already mid-evening on Indupar, and the prince had retired to one of the plush, comfortable chairs within his office. The HoloNet was playing from a screen mounted on the wall, and there was an ornate hookah pipe set up on a small end-table adjacent to Galek.

He was in the middle of drawing in another intake of smoke when the HoloNet abruptly shifted from what he had been watching moments before - hazel eyes fixating onto the news of the Senator of Kashyyyk’s hospitalization. A few minutes passed as the story played, and Galek watched the entire time.

The Holo eventually flicked back to what Galek had been watching before. There was a few moments of silence that filled room before the prince reached over, pressing a button on his commlink that opened a call with his chief aide.

“Nadira?” He said, taking a long draw from the hose of his hookah pipe.

“Yes, Sir?”

“At the nearest opportunity, please reach out to the office of Senator Aezzairrfhowrrhudrrl and have one of those ISCRA-themed ‘Get Well Soon’ care packages sent to the Senator."

"The one with the complimentary Emryc Thorne Plushie.”

There was a long, unamused sigh from Nadira.

“Yes, Sir.”

 

[Cassian Graves]

"'Creating such an annoying and persistent screeching sound that it could not be ignored,'" Cassian would repeat the broadcast, his fingers pressed together as he leaned back in his chair. "Are they sure that wasn't actually the Senator?"

"Really, sir—"

"—because I've heard him make that exact sound on more than one occasion."

The Senator of Onderon eventually caved under the pressure of his assistant's intense and disapproving gaze. "Alright, alright, Kiacro—I'll send him a get well card or something." Cassian slid his feet off from atop his desk, pulling open one draw after another. "I know I have some in here somewhere... Ah!" He pulled the card out, giving it a once over before smiling with approval. The Senator of Kashyyyk would love it.

"You could at least show a little sympathy, sir. Senator Aezzairrfhowrrhudrrl is your colleague, after all."

"I can assure you that I have the greatest sympathy for the Senator," the Zeltron would reply. He harbored a degree of respect for the Wookie too, so staunch and set in his ways—although he would never admit it. "But our Wookie friend isn't going to give up the ghost just yet. Mark my words—he'll live longer than all of us."

With pen and card in hand, Cassian would jot down a personal note to the Senator of Kashyyyk, adding at the end, "P.S. Please don't use this for target practice."

@SlagathorTheUnknown