Ask Jungle Beats

[Willa Kanz]

The holo-report left her feeling sick to her stomach, gutted. Seeing Crix upset made her stand up suddenly, storming out of the commons before anyone could say anything. But she was shaking at it. At the Jedi using him like some word puppet. Did Max know about this? Did Crix' master? If so, that was stupid, sick, and twisted to use him and his emotions to justify their actions.

Technically she was an adult, it didn't mean she had to be rational.

Still, she waited a bit. But when the night passed and she still couldn't sleep, she figured now was a better time than never. Close to dawn, there was a buzz on his comm as she texted a message, and grabbed her training baton, tugging on the outer robe to protect against the chill. As she strode down she kept her footsteps light, near silent as she descended down towards the landing pads, breathing in the cool fading night air. She couldn't explain how, but she could feel something about him, that hurt that he kept bottled up inside. Hell, maybe there were too many things left unsaid since Corellia. Long time coming for them to empty that shit out, and be honest. Time for a fess up.

OGWiz Says: Hey Tricksy, u up? Meet me near the landing pads when u can

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Crix had been focusing on the Force and his work with it rather than the PR and the rest of the Galaxy… he wasn’t proud that he had accepted the request to do a little video for the holonet. It had seemed like something he needed to do at the time but a period of reflection afterward had confirmed that it wasn’t something he needed to do but rather a perfect storm of him feeling helplessly useless, frustration and being asked at just the right moment.

He regretted that he had agreed but he didn’t regret that he had tried to get the truth out there, just the method that had been used. In his less charitable moods he felt as though he had been exploited but, he had been eager enough to join in when asked. Some of that was likely still the grief and guilt talking but it couldn’t all be.

Sometimes it would come down to his choices as well, even if there were emotional compromises to some of those choices. But a couple of choices he could not bring himself to regret were the decisions to bring Willa and Penny to the Jedi. Enby and Yocho were still proving elusive but he was still on the lookout for them and between his training and a couple missions, he hadn’t had chance to see Willa or Penny in the Order yet.

Then he got Willa’s message.

“A ‘u up’ message?” he called out to Willa as he emerged from the undergrowth with a grin firmly in place, “Really? What am I, your latest booty call or something? Careful…”

He pointed at her with a wink.

“… my profile says over 6 foot but I’m actually not.”

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

She was seated on a crate, hood up and holding her stick some distance away from her body. When he approached, she looked up, and for a moment her stomach sank. How could he act so normal when it felt like the galaxy was falling apart? She managed a thin smile, pulling her hood back to look at him properly.

"I know it's all in your shoes," she shot back, sliding off lightly with a stretch. "I also know you're 5 foot ten and a half," she teased, but the smile softened ever so slightly, before she sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for draggin' you out in the middle of the night, but... there was some stuff I wanted to sort with ya."

With that, she picked up the stick, and began walking into the jungle, glancing back once over her shoulder. "Follow me."

And with that, she seemed to vanish into the darkness, shifting shadows in the meager light an only indication of where she was going on the narrow trail that lead out into the wilderness.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Crix could see that Willa was still... affected by her transition to the Jedi and the way the Galaxy seemed to be turning these days. It would be strange of her not to be but he would admit that he missed the more care-free Willa that he had known for years by this point. She was the one he remembered whenever he thought about Wiz after all, even if it did suggest she was taking her training seriously.

But Crix himself was healing, albeit very slowly. It wasn't ever going to go away - the guilt, the shame and the horror - but he was beginning to adjust to carrying it around. Enough that he finally felt like he could let in some light and happiness again rather than filling himself with them.

"Half an inch makes all the difference." he joked right back with a wink, "So the holonet tells me anyway."

Honestly, with all the Jedi, Sith and wars and stuff going on, he would have liked to think that people on the holonet had better things to do than simply send scams for enlargement pills and what not. Still, the situation was turning more serious so Crix allowed himself to adjust his mood appropriately.

Following Willa without question, he didn't lose track of her once even through the darkness and the odd trail. He had her presence in the Force firmly embedded within his mind; he wasn't going to lose her again.

"Is this the part where you tell me something Galaxy-Shaking? Because I really don't think it needs any more shaking..."

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

She chuckled a bit, the tone subdued as she kept moving. Even now, with things as they were going, he was still Crix. He was still someone she could lean back, rely on, and trust. And yet there were too many things that could go wrong. Too many things that still scared her, that she had questions about. "I mean, depends on your threshold. I don't think it's groundbreaking..." she hesitated, pausing at a small clearing.

Facing him, she exhaled, arms crossed tightly.

"I know you say you're worried about me and the gang protectin' ourselves; we'll be okay. But... I can't help but worry about you too." She tracked eyes over his face, ignoring the squeeze in her chest, forcing her arms to uncross. "It's a hell of a lot these guys are dumpin' on your shoulders. So I wanna know if you're handling it. An' how you're handling yourself. Because if anythin' happened... I don't think I could take it."

She forced herself to square her shoulders, staring at him. Time to fess up... but she had the gut feelin' she was gonna screw up their dynamic.

"I've always loved ya. You're the only person that wasn't... a jerk. An' I just..." she exhaled slowly, running a hand over the top of her head. "You mean the galaxy to me. So when I saw that holo of you talkin', it felt like someone gutted me. I wasn't there to help ya through... all that. An' I'm sorry for that."

She placed her hands on her hips, staring him down, but her face was tight, holding back emotion just thinking about all that. She knew he was sensitive in the Force; no need to dump all her complicated feelings of anger or guilt against the Jedi on top of everything else.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Willa was being far too cryptic and vague for his liking both because he wasn't a very patient person by nature and because it wasn't like her. It was like someone had kicked her down and ruined her confidence in herself and what she had to say. Which was a visual he very much did not enjoy and his mouth narrowed into a thin line at the thought alone for a moment before he forced it to uncrease.

Of course when she turned round to actually respond to his inquiries it turned out that the reason she was acting so out of sorts... was him. Because of course it was him - these days it seemed that so many people were having troubles and they all led right back to him. He wasn't too bitter about it because of how much it meant to him but still, it was beginning to become a theme he didn't like at all.

Like he was the source of so much pain for the people he liked keeping close.

"When am I gonna get away from people having all these negative feelings because of me?" he groaned, running a hand over his horns, lightly scratching between them awkwardly, "I guess it means I got a lot of people who care but I really am not vibing with how so many people seem to be depressed as kark because of me..."

It was the other side of the coin as having people who care for him, he knew, but it seemed to him that it was on that side of the coin far too much recently. Felt like he was a target painted on their chests and every bullseye that rocked them was on him. He chuckled a little bit, not focusing on the Force of their emotions because he didn't feel like he needed to...

"Yeah yeah I love ya too you old softy." he agreed absently with a wave of his hand, "I'm glad that you're with me and I'm happy we're both learning to kick shrak but anymore of this friendship is magic stuff and we're gonna need color co-ordinated suits at this point..."

... so he missed what might have been otherwise obvious, content to be oblivious and assume it was an extension of their friendship.

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

At first, his words gave her hope. But the way it was said, the way she might have said it... she winced slightly, left hand tightening on her stick. He didn't... get it. Honestly she wasn't surprised. This wasn't the first time she admitted something and he brushed it off, but it stung worse now. "I... Force, you're dense," she blew out, swallowing hard. A hand ran against her scalp again, forgetting for a moment there was still nothing there to run her hands through, and shaking her head.

"You idiot," she muttered at him, then rolled her eyes. "I ain't depressed. I worry for ya. Stop acting all mopey, and come over here so I can kick your ass."

With that, she tossed the other training baton at him, and shrugged off her cloak. The cold air nipped at bare arms, and she held her own training baton in a one-handed defensive, brown eyes narrowing.

"I'm gonna prove to ya you don't have to worry about me. An' for you to prove I ain't got jack to worry about. So get your ass over here and hit me." She didn't want to rely on sight. Didn't want to rely on anything; she was trusting her lessons. Trusting her abilities. And putting a risk on him to step up.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

What got her in a snit?

Was it because he'd waved off her friendship speech? He hoped it wasn't because he had waved off her friendship speech but did they really even need that kind of thing? They'd been friends for years at this point and had done some crazy shraking kark and nothing had ever shaken that. Hell him disappearing across the Galaxy to go and try rescuing his mom for months hadn't shaken their friendship and she still trusted him enough to come to the Jedi.

But seriously she needed to realize that he got it, he understood; theirs was a deep bond and he got that. He liked knowing that they had each other's back. It wasn't like she was trying to declare her undying love or some holonovela shite like that so there wasn't any reason to be calling him names. Not that he hadn't been called worse by Willa himself even recently but it was the thought that counted.

He caught the training baton in his right hand.

"You ain't depressed? Cus you look kind of like someone just decided to take up kicking your puppy as a hobby." he joked a little bit as he span the baton in his hand, "Just call me Kicker Crix."

He pointed to her with the training baton.

"Just remember, when you've got bruises all over, that you asked for this, yeah?"

Crix held his arms open wide.

"How about you take the first shot, sunshine?"

He was already doing what his Master told him - trying to get into her head so he could exploit her emotions and the gaps in her form that would open up. It was a good fit for someone who talked as much as he did.

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

An unseen smirk touched on her lips once at his words, holding her baton calmly, facing him. There was so much temptation to turn his words around him; so she would do it. "Why, afraid of anyone seeing my bruises on you?" she teased, and even through the Force he would feel her cheekiness, the Force coiling in her limbs, prepared as the distance was kept between them.

"Better strike fast, or I'll let the other Padawans know you're too chicken," she taunted back, brown eyes glittering. Putting the friendly mask back on was easier than facing this sort-of rejection. Perhaps he didn't really notice what she meant, but that didn't mean it stung any less.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Oh so she was going to go down that route was she? If she thought he was going to lose his cool just because she was insinuating he would get his arse kicked by a girl then she was dead wrong. Growing up with his mom? He knew for a FACT that he could, and would, get his arse kicked by a woman at any point in his life. So he just smirked a little bit and tilted his head.

"Your lovetaps?" he pretended to scoff, "Not even sure they'll bruise. You know my skin's tougher than yours!"

She was really going to force him to go first?

Well alright then!

Rather than continue on with the banter without actually attacking, Crix launched himself forward at her. He pushed himself forward, bringing his baton swinging down at her head from her right. The strike was quick, light and even at the end of the motion kept his baton pointed straight at her.

Ready to be pulled back to defend against almost immediately should she counter.

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

When he sprang forward to attack, she caught the baton in a fluid block up, free palm lashing to his chest in a hard Push. He was trying to get under her skin, trying to throw her off balance, and it normally worked. He knew just how to press her buttons; she merely clamped her lips shut. If the push didn't work or he could counter quickly enough, she would rock herself back on her heels, and attempt to gain some space. Master Max mentioned something about instinct; Crix was more trained, and she knew he could kick her ass easily. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to try her hardest and prove to him he didn't have to worry about her.

She was gonna prove him wrong.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

She brought her baton up to block his with her own and lashed out with her hand – he wasn’t sure if she was going to use the Force or not before he was already moving to counter. As she thrust her left hand at his chest, he brought his own left hand around. Rather than try and block her thrust, he instead redirected it further to his right with his own palm pushing her wrist off course.

Her Push would go off to his right, under his still-raised right arm. It would buzz past narrowly in a way that rattled his ribs from the force of the attack.

With their range effectively gone, he would grab at her left wrist at the end of the pushing motion to restrict her ability to withdraw. If he managed to grab her wrist he would pull her even closer as he brought his right knee up in a strike aimed at her gut.

Hannibal had taught him that pulling punches in a sparring match was kind of like an insult, like you were saying you didn’t think they could handle anything too serious. So he wasn’t insulting her; which meant he was going to beat her black and blue if he could.

Friendship was weird sometimes.

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

Her nostrils flared in annoyance as he pushed her hand away, but jerked her arm back as he continued reaching forward, feeling his fingers slip against her forearm. She could feel the force behind the knee thrust as he would attempt to gut-kick her and huffed, using her hand to shove hard against his knee and hopefully forcing him off balance, pushing forward with her baton arm as well.

She wasn't going to play nice. But he had an advantage with reach; she'd have to force him on the backfoot if she wanted to have any edge at all.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Frowning slightly, he felt her hand push his knee back but he knew enough to know that her hand would be stinging from stopping such a strong blow. Rather than stepping back as was probably expected, Crix would step down with the added momentum from the push to his knee and push his baton up, their two weapons still locked above their heads.

With the two of them still incredibly close, he would lean back at the waist, bringing her forward as she pushed at him with her baton. However it was a calculated move as when her body shifted forward with the forward weight of their entwined batons he would lash forward.

With his forehead.

Headbutting her in the chin to disorientate and cause her to stagger before throwing a quick punch with his left hand into the right side of her body. He wasn't quite going to hit her kidney but it wasn't going to tickle.

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

She'd fared worse, really.

The blow was maddeningly not as effective as she'd hoped, but when he headbutted her she grunted, head jerking back as blood trickled from a cut lip. Curling into the blow from his fist, she used it to soften the blow by letting out a sharp cry. Brown eyes flashed in the darkness, breath coming in a wheezing pant as her free hand lashed out hard to a sucker punch to the solar plexus. When he would either move from that or block it, her right knee would lash forward to either catch him in the groin or stomach, keeping their batons away from her head.

She would be limping tomorrow, but she wouldn't be going down without a dirty fight down. She knew she shouldn't have been as hurt when he misunderstood what she was trying to say, but it did, and that frustration fueled with the deep need to prove herself.

Even at the expense of bruised pride or broken bones. She was tired of being seen as a weakness. She shouldn't have to prove herself, but here he was, bein' a nancy and worrying over her, and truth be told it was startin' to piss her off a bit.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Headbutts were blood-letting when you had Zabrak horns but he didn’t think the spar was to first blood seeing as how neither of them seemed inclined to yield. He hammered her side with his fist and got one in return to his solar plexus that made him want to throw up and doubled him over forward at the waist.

With his head lowered, he saw her knee-strike coming and adjusted for it. Leaning forward further, her knee would strike his chest rather than his privates. It rattled his bones with the force and a bruise would be forming but it worked. With her knee pressed up against his chest, he would loop his free arm under the joint.

Grunting with the effort, he would throw himself forward and upward slightly in a leap. With him pushing his entire weight behind it and with her standing on one leg, the idea was to send them crashing to the ground with him atop of her. Upon landing her knee would impacted his ribs again but he would just grunt as he released his grip on his baton suddenly to instead reach down, his right hand finding Willa’s throat and holding it tight.

“Yield!” he would grunt as they landed, “Yield Willa!”

Just because he thought it wrong to hold back, didn’t mean he relished the idea of choking her own or continuing a spar that had quickly degraded into a brawl. They were acting like street thugs, not Jedi… but he wasn’t about to just Lose because he wanted the moral high ground.

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

She was flat on her back, sides bruised and blood trickling from her lip. His hand wrapped around her throat, and she scowled, hips bucking hard and letting out a winced hiss as it twinged down bruised ribs.

"No!" she clipped back. "I'm sick an' tired of ya worryin' over me. I don't need your damn protection or your karkin' pity. I'm...gonna show you," she ground out. Her own hand lashed out, releasing her baton to grip into his tunic and drag him closer. If she succeeded, she'd yank him in closer.

She wasn't angry; just the opposite, and even he could feel it. She was hurt, sad, disappointed even. "Stop carryin' the karkin' galaxy on your shoulders, ya moron, an' let me carry it with you." They were besties, but she always felt like an outsider to his problems; unable to talk about them, afraid to push for answers when he would shy away from them. An' kriff the kid could hit hard; her split bottom lip stung with every word.

Still, she glared at him, no longer hitting. Rather, she was gearing up for something else entirely.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Was this all that this was?

Was this whole thing some kind of exercise designed to boost her confidence? He could feel an instinctive swell of anger at the very thought that she was making this about her. That his growth should be less than her's, that she should surpass him because she wanted to. Because she didn't want to feel like she was being protected, he was supposed to slow down? The idea that he should simply sit back and let someone advance, to do nothing himself while he waited for them to catch up?

It made him angry.

He could hear faint drums in his ears and he scowled down at her, his hand itching to tighten it's grip... but he didn't. Instead he pushed against her, dropping all pretense about continuing the fight to instead stand up. Taking a breath, he turned away from her for a moment, running a hand over his face for a moment.

"Being defeated by someone in a SPAR does not give you the right to... to... this!" he gestured around the two of them, "This right here? This is pity but it isn't from me Wiz - this is self-pity and I don't like how it fits on you."

He turned back to look at her.

"I haven't ever pitied you because I knew that I wouldn't stay ahead of you. You, the one of my friends who has always pushed herself to excel? Nah I knew you would get right back up and you'd knock it out of the park." his face twisted into a frown, "But I can't just let you win. Can't slow down. I can't slow down to make you feel better because I need to be stronger, to know more and to be better so that I can reach in and heal my mom!"

Crix stood his ground.

"So I need you to pick yourself up... dust yourself down... and stand with me. Not complain about my strides - match me!"

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

Did he seriously kriffin' think this was self pity? That she was whining about how he was doing? Did he really think that? She scowled and stood herself, dusting herself off. "I'm not asking you to slow down, Trix," she grumbled, black brows furrowing. "Karkin' hell. If anything, I swear I'm gonna pass you so fast your head'll spin. No, it ain't that. You just don't kriffin' talk to anyone. I can match you fine," she bit out, "but you keep thinkin' you can do this shit alone. Hell no you ain't. Not now, not ever."

She knew then. They couldn't be a thing because... he never saw her that way. She was always the bestie, the reliable, the shoulder. She never wanted to face it before, because she wanted to be special. Wanted to be someone more than that. As she stared at him through the darkness... she sighed, running a hand over her face, and wincing when it touched her split lip.

"I'm makin' my own way, got it? You won this time, but next time we spar, we do it properly. And I'll kick your ass good." There was confidence there, but it was more than that. She was tired of feeling like she could dredge up some reaction from him, but instead she hurt him.

"...Sorry for dragging you out here. I just wanted to... help, but I don't know how the kriff I can. I want to be there for you like you been. Any way I can."

She sighed, hands on her hips. Opened her mouth again... then shut it, shaking her head once.

Nope. She was burying those feelings deep, and hopefully over time they'd fade out and she could forget about it. It'd be easier that way. She could move on better that way.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Well the conversation got heated but Crix wasn't about to say he was upset it happened; the whole thing felt like something that needed to be said. A conversation that needed to be had because otherwise it was just asking for trouble. Something that would have built up over years into something ugly turned into one heated conversation in the jungle.

Crix smirked.

"Better keep your word on that, Wiz." he told her with a raised eyebrow, slowly lowering it and grinning, "Means a lot I can still count on you."

A lot in his life had changed since the attack on the Ranger HQ and he couldn't really say that a lot of it had been for the best. So much of the changes had been things that had shocked him to his core or forced him to change so much. Enough that he knew he was barely the same person he was from the time he was on Coruscant.

Having something, someone, to act like a rock was key and he appreciated that Willa was happy to be that rock. That level of consistently being there for him as a friend through it all? It meant a lot. He smirked ever so slightly at her comment about kicking his ass next time.

She could dream after all.

Reaching out, he poked her in the middle of the forehead.

"Just be yourself, ya goof." he told her with a grin, "I'm not gonna go all chick flick on you Wiz but... I appreciate you. For being there for me, not judging me and just coming with me on this hell ride. Means a lot."

@Killa Ree