Ask I've Taught You Everything

[Oren Zapan]

​

Soot and ash swept across the barren and dead landscape of the deadwood forest. Fallen timber rested across the grade, as roots tangled and branched across the speckled browns and greys of the dirt path. It was difficult to traverse across the planet, and at nights were filled with a cool dry air that would freeze your toes and leave you huddled for warmth.

But, Oren did not mind it, being so far away from the rest of the Temple, from the Galaxy at large. The meeting with the Senate had not gone as he planned, the galaxy seemed skeptical of their ways, or so he felt. In truth, the failure on Ajan Kloss had weighed on his mind heavily, and it left him pondering the same questions he so often thought about.

Oren had not returned to the Jedi Temple, nor did he have any ambitions to do so, his time with the Jedi seemed done, though he was not sure if it was he or the order that had failed to live up to the dogma they so often sought to strive for. Perhaps, Oren had fallen for the same pitfalls that the Jedi Council of the Clone Wars had taken, becoming interested in the politics of the galaxy, and the status of the Order in the galaxy over what the teachings called for.

Was there a flaw in the Jedi Teachings, or the Jedi themselves? Oren was not so certain, but this was a chance to contemplate what it meant to him, to have these gifts, these burdens, and the pressure to hold himself to a standard that seemed to crumble within the Order and himself. It seemed the force was pulling him towards something, a different purpose than one he had once saw himself embarking upon -- perhaps it was for the better, this all had served a purpose. There was no doubt that serving on the Council had changed Oren, and the aging Jedi felt as if he had lost himself to the ideas and structure of the Jedi and not what had allowed him to prosper during his time as a Knight.

Oren contemplated these thoughts as he rested in his small encampment deep within the deadwoods of this unknown planet, a small fire crackling as the sound of silence filled the endless dark void around them. Beep..Dooth..dooo, Oren's old astromech cooed as his head swivilved to look towards his long time friend.

"The Force will guide us to where we need to be," he'd say as he rested his hand upon the droid's dome, "I have no worry about that."

tag: @Charndley

 

[Juniper]

Something had drawn her here. Something distant, almost hidden in the eddies and swirls of a discordant galaxy. Something close, of great meaning to her. Nara hadn't pushed herself to the forefront in a little while. It had been a bruising time for the Order and she'd come very close to leaving. The decision to stay was always in her mind, eternally wondering what she else she might do, what worlds she might see, what lives she might live without being a Jedi.

But when she felt that something call, she followed.

It was a desolate place. What in all the Galaxy could have drawn her here? The crunch of dried branches and dead wood beneath her boots, the whip and swish of bitterly cold wind whistling through the trees. Cold. The light faded, the sun set. And still she trudged through the woods, looking. Searching. Feeling the familiar presence through everything. Eventually, she saw the glow of a campfire and moved towards it.

She came through the gloom and dark, standing opposite him. As the fire crackled in front of her, she raised the hood from her coat, letting her hair spill out. Staring over at him with the same blue eyes that'd first looked at him in the hall at Ajan Kloss... nearly six years ago.

Nara took a seat and held her hands to the fire, rubbing them together to get a little warmer.

"Hi," she said quietly, letting the words linger on the wind. She wasn't in a rush to force the conversation. It would come.

"You've always had an eye for interesting vacation spots," she admitted finally, giving a little shiver and a smile.

"Are you okay, Master?"

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

In truth, he had felt her presence for sometime, their connection to each other was the strongest bond that he held in this galaxy. Even if they were sectors away, Oren could always feel her in the great expanse. The two of them knew each other too well, their experiences in life, their ups and downs, it was clear she knew his feelings echoed through the ripples of space to her.

"Hello there," he'd say with a soft smile, as he moved a bit to allow her to sit beside him. "Well, when you've been around the galaxy as much as I have, you'd like to push the adventure," a dejected smile formed on his face as he leaned back against the dead tree he say under.

There was a pause between his words, and a long draw of silence that filled their ears. "The Galaxy is changing, we teach ourselves to be mindful and to accept it. But, I often wonder if the Jedi have failed to adapt to it, or perhaps it is I who has failed to adapt. Ajan Kloss, rests squarely on the shoulders of the Council and Grand Master."

He turned to meet her gaze, "We allowed ourselves to get so drawn into worrying about preventing the mistakes of the past from occurring again, that we failed to live and see what was happening before our eyes. It is this worry of the future that failed us in recent months. The Order wishes for me to take Oota's position as Grand Master, but perhaps I am not worthy of such a position."

He would offer his flesh hand, if she chose to take it. "The deaths of Ajan Kloss weigh greatly on myself and the Order as a whole. I do not believe the Order can survive another such attack, not in our current state. If I could not save us from the first, should I really lead us?"

He looked to her with questioning eyes, curious of her response.

tag: @Charndley

 

[Juniper]

Nara took a stick of dead wood from the floor and idly poked the fire. The silence filled with the sound of crackling as the end of the stick lit up, little tongues of orange-red slowly creeping up the wood. Nara watched it as she waited, before pushing it into the fire itself.

At least it was a little bit warmer there.

Oren spoke his worries out loud in his typical fashion. Quiet, calm, measured. There was no doubting what he felt though. She had been drawn here, to him, for a reason. And while she never was much good with words, particularly when it come to high-level questions, she'd make the attempt.

"Did anyone think the Sith would return?" she asked, her voice just as quiet and low as Oren's own. "You, me, Hannibal, Max, heck even the rest of the council and Grandmaster Boan, we were born and raised and trained in a Galaxy where they were long gone. We probably have failed to adapt, we weren't expecting it. It's not a thing any of us want to do. We're Jedi, we're not meant to be up for fighting people."

She shifted closer, taking Oren's hand in her own. Squeezing it as she thought about what to say next. "I always thought you'd be a very good Grandmaster one day," Nara admitted, smiling at him. "And you know what I'd say to that. Should you lead us? Yes. Without question. Without a doubt. I know I'm biased here but Oren, you are the best of us."

"We messed up. The Order messed up and things went bad. Really bad. We take it and we learn. We let ourselves grieve and then we get back up. Because we have to. We have a duty. There might be really dark times ahead of us. Things may well get a lot worse. Who better to lead us than someone who can show us the way? Remind us of what we really should be as Jedi?"

She looked around awkwardly, very aware of the sound of her own voice all of a sudden. She sounded weird when she was being quiet. Her voice was not meant for low volumes and it showed.

"I'm going to be characteristically difficult here, and answer your question with two questions," Nara said, looking him right in the eyes.

"If you don't take it up, what would you do? Return to the council, or...?"

"And... if not you, then who?"

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

Oren rested his hands against his lap, listening to Nara's words. She had grown up, her reputation as a hot-head had quelled within Oren's eyes, and it was not her that he had to worry about now. It was true that the Jedi had not been prepared for war with the Sith, they were not fighters or soldiers of war. But, the training and the words were there -- staring them in the face.

"We're taught to defend the innocent and the weak, that should apply to all factors -- Sith or a Criminal on the Streets." The Jedi master would sigh, "Grand Master, Jedi Council, these are not what makes a great Jedi. Perhaps our failure came from our instance on our ranks, our traditions and our temples. The Jedi Order survived the Great Purge, and there was no council to guide them."

The Jedi would lean back against the stub of a tree, "You and I were at our best when we were in the galaxy, doing jobs and helping others. A Master and an Apprentice. You are trained, you understand the code. You do not need me, nor a council to guide you on what you must do. The force will tell you, guide you, and use you to bring balance."

There would be a pause in his words, "Perhaps no one should. Perhaps we should spread out across the galaxy, train the next generation, aide and protect the people where we are needed. We are servants of life, Nara, of the Force.. Not the Jedi Order. This, I believe is why we failed and why the Jedi Orders of the past did as well."

There was some conflict in his mind, it was radical, perhaps too radical for the time, but while the tenants of the Force did not change, the life and galaxy did. "We could have a Grand Master, other council members, that can be sought out and asked for guidance and training. But, I think.. I think the Jedi should change, less focus on titles and jobs. This galaxy is hurting, they need our help."

"I think I'm going to propose this, see what comes of it. If the Jedi are more concerned with the Order, and not their duty to life, then it may be time for me to leave. I can't stand to look at the Order going down the past of our ancestors, it'll destroy us, and lead to another Empire. That's why I need to change it, do this -- even if I don't think I have the strength to do it."

tag: @Nara Allam

 

[Juniper]

Nara listened quietly as Oren explained his feelings and ideas. It seemed very radical, different to what anyone in the current Order could imagine. The very idea of the Jedi without that structure there, without the safe, comfortable confines of what'd been done before.

"It's... imaginative. I'll say that much," Nara started, failing to hold back a small giggle at her inadequate description. She couldn't deny that she missed those days, when the two of them travelled to world after world. When everywhere they went, they left things slightly better than they'd found them. When all that seemed to matter was a ship in a swamp and running up a tree.

"The Galaxy changes and we change with it. I think it's a good idea." Nara's opinion didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. She wouldn't be one of those that needed to be convinced. "You know I do. And you know what you need to do."

She turned to the fire again, watching it dance as she collected her thoughts. "People will be worried about it, a little bit scared, but you're right. And they'll all see it too, eventually." She could only imagine the arguments that would come but perhaps she was being too cynical. Maybe they'd all see reason. "It might not necessarily be what everyone has in mind, but I think most of the Order knows that things have to change."

As Oren mentioned lacking strength, she turned to look at him again. Her face pulled into disbelief; a frown etched on her features.

"Seriously? Oren Zapan, get real. Think of everything you've done. You've fed the hungry, healed the sick, aided the weak. You fought against the Sith not for the joy of it, but because you were helping people. You found the holocron of Grand Master Wyck after what, thousands of years of being hidden?" Each sentence was accompanied by firm, confident pointing, or slashes through the air with her hand. I even heard you spoke to the Prime Minister of the Free Worlds Alliance and managed not to punch her, which is a feat of inner strength that is beyond all reason. You've been through so many hard times, so many tragedies and you're here, you keep going, you're still giving everything you can to help others."

"You've trained... how many padawans now? As well as teaching about three hundred younglings various things. You took a half-starved street brat and made her into... well, me. And this is only the stuff that I can actively remember, sitting here right now."

With that, Nara let out a sigh, like the frustration had been lifted from her. "Sorry, but... you're the strongest person I know. The strongest person I've ever met. Changing the Order will be hard but you're the only person who could ever do it. All you can do is believe in the Force, believe in yourself, and try."

A soft smile spread on her face as she looked up to the sky, wondering what would happen next. "And if the Jedi refuse, then you know inside that you did all you could. And I know you'd still be out there, helping whoever you could, with or without the rest of them."

"Whatever happens though, I am always with you, Master Oren."

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

Oren's eyes narrowed a bit as he listened to his former student's words, the hesitation at the radical nature of it all. They were servants of the Force, not the order as a whole. So much of his own past had come back to him, his own master's words and teachings came to him. Life was a cycle that instilled lessons from one generation to the next. But, the burden of force sensitivity seemed to weigh on the shoulders of those who cared.

"One person with the force can change the galaxy forever, plunging it into darkness," he'd say quietly, "They can also bring it back from that darkness. It's a scary thought, and one of my greatest fears I had. I saw you, I saw your frustrations and your anger, the rashness and I became afraid of losing you."

He would reach over, his mechanical hand taking her own, "Master Tallis has gone missing, and more and more young students grow with temper and anxiety. The code, is not something I hear often spoken of anymore. Max is leading a political charge in a galaxy that no longer wants us, while the rest of our masters and the council sit idly by as the Sith continue to ravage planets."

"The force tells me that we are failing to learn from the hubris of our past. That the tradition I was raised in will not help protect these people." He would look to her, the young woman he saw as his own daughter, "If I left the Order today, would you join me? Or would you follow your own path in the force?"

tag: @Charndley

 

[Juniper]

Nara knew the feeling. Kori being gone worried her something fierce. The whole thing, frankly, stank. And very few people seemed concerned about it. She'd wondered whether to try and track her down, try and follow any path or thread she could... but it'd dried up after three conversations. Nothing.

And as for students with temper? She could hardly comment, given her own checkered history. Though she had noticed for herself how quick certain padawans were to assert their own views and head straight to a violent path. Just because they thought it was right. That moment had been a wake-up call beyond anything else.

Nara took his mechanical hand, the coolness of the metal leeching a little of the heat from her hands as she considered her answer. She didn't think she'd be on this kind of discussion again, so soon.

"Are you asking me this because I nearly left before?" Nara wondered, giving him a small chuckle. That day, she'd just about clung on in there as a member of the Order. Today? Well...

"I wouldn't be sure of what I'd do. Being in the Order provides a path, a purpose. Whether that's the right one anymore, I don't know."

She remained silent for a moment, considering what to say.

"If you left the Order... if you asked... then I would leave too. It'd be scary but every part of life is scary. And I should trust in the Force. Even if our paths diverge, even if things change, I would be following the example you set. Helping people where I could."

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

The mechanical sensors shot a tingling sensation up the Jedi's arm as her hand took his own. Slowly the fingers would intertwine with her own as he leaned in to rest against her shoulder. He felt at peace on this strange and unknown rock that sat far away from the action and the chaos in the galaxy.

The planet was grim and dark, dead trees and distant gray mountains seemed to stretch across the endless empty abyss and yet it felt like home. Oren was not sure what the right path was, only that he had failed the Order just much as the Order had failed himself. There had to be something more to this all, a piece in the puzzle that existed that would answer all the questions he had, and he knew deep down that the Jedi could not provide it for him.

"The future is uncertain, it's cloudy and doubt begins to creep in. We have the tendency to seek out the familiar, what is safe, because it saves us from potential failure." The Master would say quietly, "I don't know what the future will hold or if this is the right choice.. But, I must leave the Order behind and find my own path in this galaxy. The Force calls to me, though I do not know where I will go."

He paused to let her process what he was saying, he hoped that she would understand the choice.

"Do what you feel is the right thing to do and do it fully; only then will you be able to accept the choices you make. My time as a Jedi is over, but it does not have to be for you. I've taught you everything I know, you're ready for this galaxy -- with or without me. You always have been."

tag: @Charndley

 

[Juniper]

It was a lovely moment. Quiet, peaceful, perfect. Something all too rare in the Galaxy of late, in the mess of conflicts, politics and endless, endless Holonet broadcasts. And whilst Nara preferred her planets with a little more... life to them, there was a strangely enticing essence to how calm it all was. No shouting. No screaming. Nothing but them. And that crackling fire, of course.

She contemplated his words carefully, dwelling on what he said about failure. She'd certainly seen enough of that recently. Between Sullust, the falling apart of the Guardians, the disappearance of her friends... her trust in the Order had been shaken, and it'd never been particularly solid from the start. It made her thing of being a teenager again. Back when they'd found her.

"I once left everyone and everything I knew. All my friends, all my world, all my life. It wasn't a great life, let's be honest, but I gave it all up because I had a chance for something else. Through that, I trained in the Force. Through that, I learned to control myself. Through that, I met you." Her fingers squeezed his. "And plenty of other cool people, too. I made the right choice back then."

She had never operated well within strict confines. Though the Order had given it's members leeway and freedom to act, it sounded like that might be coming to an end. She didn't need to explain to some eyepatch-wearing master or unknown councillor what she had to do, she just had to do it.

Trust in the Force.

"I will help the Order whenever I can," Nara decided, "and I know that they are one of the best hopes for the future. But I think it's time to walk away and see what new things I can make with my life. I have a lot of it left to live." A sense of freedom rolled out in front of her, like a shining blue carpet, filled with the excitement and slight-fear of the unknown. It made her feel more alive.

"You did," Nara agreed, smiling at her Master, "you taught me everything. And now I know it isn't about if I'm ready for the Galaxy. It's if the Galaxy is ready for me."

The corny line hung in the air like a bad smell.

"And it's not like I have to say goodbye forever. I can always call up Hannibal and tell him he's a dingbat when I get bored."

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

"Your spirit is what helped me in my younger years," Oren would say as he rose from his spot by the small fire, looking out towards the stars, "I was not a good Jedi when you and I first met, I was close to being expelled from the order if you remember. My first Padawan and I were not on speaking terms, and I don't think we ever reconnected. I often wonder where he is, what he's doing. I can only hope that he found the happiness that I did not provide to him during my teachings and instructions."

The former Jedi would begin to collect up a few of his items, putting them into his pack. "I was never the best Jedi, yet people saw me as the answer to their problems. I am well aware of what they feel about the situation with Crix. I did not pressure the boy, but it is what it is. Those like Hans, Talak, Max, they have the right to their opinion."

Turning back, he would look with a faint smile, "I'm glad the Jedi have had a positive outcome in your life, and that you had the support you needed when I was not there for you.. Let's be honest, I wasn't always there, from my time in prison, to the time I was dealing with Nashyr's death. I should have done more, but, I will now."

He would step towards his ship which was resting among the trees. Closing his eyes the Jedi would raise his hands up, casting the ship upwards into the air, with a gentle grace he would push out with his hands, sending the ship crashing through the trees and into the darkness, wrecking and destroying it completely. "If they come to find me, this is what they will find."

He'd turn back to her, "I have an idea on how we can help the galaxy, but it requires us to go to Ajan Kloss, and it requires you see what the Jedi Council has neglected to show."

tag: @Charndley

 

[Juniper]

"You did what you could, that's all I can ask. And it's more than anyone else ever did." Nara returned the smile. It was all true. There may have been times when he wasn't there, but he had reasons. Good reasons. He'd done enough for her.

She wanted to say that she should've been there for him more after Nashyr but the words wouldn't come. It felt like digging up something from the distant past. Picking a scab. Returning to a time and a place that scared her.

We move ever onwards.

The other Jedi like Hannibal, like Max, like Talak could be left to their squabbles and fights. Though, the temptation was always there to fly back to Yavin and have another screaming match. Maybe she'd treat herself on her birthday.

"So we'll just..." she began to say as she watched Oren raise his hands and lift the ship. Tons of expertly hewn, carefully-engineered metal, circuits and computational devices span through the dead trees and cold rocks, scattering expensive debris everywhere. Nara watched with open-mouthed astonishment.

"... you coulda just left it there," she finally said, giving Oren a slightly judgemental look. "Little bit dramatic, don't you think?"

Once her pout about the mistreatment of perfectly good starship was over, she nodded at his response. "Okay. Ajan Kloss. Sounds go... well, not good, sounds like a plan." She took another look at the wreckage in front of them.

"I guess we'll take my ship then."

/End thread

@TWD26