Tabloid Inside Scoop: AMS No More, the JJ Remedy

The Storyteller

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The growing threat of the AMS virus might finally be at an end. As you might know, not much has been heard from JJ Johnson in recent weeks, and we have for you the inside scoop on why. Reports that he had been arrested as part of a big government conspiracy to shut him up have been proven false. The truth is JJ has long used our patented Zinga Stone amulets to counter the SpaceGee chips that the Core worlds have been trying to mix in our water to spy on us. It was due to this that he was prepared for the illegal arrest attempt, and went into hiding. A little aluminum foil, some essential oils to detox the body of any spyware, and he was running circles around the mindless drone sent to arrest him. But how does this tie into the AMS virus you ask? He has beat it, that's how.

Trusted sources can now confirm that JJ has in-fact been working to find a cure for the AMS virus, the so called deadly virus that's so deadly that it doesn't even kill you. Just last week more people died in construction accidents than have died from AMS. Some killer virus huh? But with trillions upon trillions of credits to be wasted combating the virus, our own hard earned tax credits, we must step in to prevent this obvious attempt to layer the pockets of those in power.

JJ, we can now confirm, has been working to prove that the virus is indeed not a threat. His silence for the last few weeks was a direct result of one such experiment. The renowned reporter consumed bleach to prove that it combats the AMS virus. For three weeks he was fighting for his life, showing the proverbial finger to the man, and now he has emerged healthy and with no signs of being infected by the virus.

So there you have it folks, bleach prevents the virus from spreading. Follow the link below to stock up now before word gets out. Buy the combo pack with a Zinga Stone and patented SpaceGee neutralizing foil and get a 10% discount!


 
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