Tabloid GnoGnasp! Overwhelmed with Surge in Sales

The Storyteller

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Dec 24, 2017
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A spiraling green planet logo with a tree on top heralded the beginning of Wroshyr Wrap-up, the premier private news site on Kashyyyk. The show's two hosts, Snrliewduhnchen and Quuwrrhombashtarrr, looked seriosuly into the camera to deliver the latest report.

S: "The fallout from the recent Kilik emergence has sent shockwaves throughout the galaxy, and its effects are being felt everywhere from planetary militias... to bugspray companies."

Q: "One company on Kashyyyk, GnoGnasp!, is experiencing a record demand for their feature product by the same name, as concerned citizens around the galaxy search for ways to prepare for a possible Kilik invasion."

The feed switches to a harried Wookiee inside a busy warehouse. The text at the bottom of the screen names them as Bhienyolrookkianh, forewookiee of GnoGnasp!'s largest warehouse. "It has been crazy", they say, the signs of fatigue evident to a more careful observer. "I've been working around the clock since Ruusan; we've never experienced anything like this. We advise everyone who has ordered GnoGnasp! to have patience. We're doing everything we can to fill your orders as quickly as possible."


The feed returns to the newsroom, bringing Snrliewduhnchen and Quuwrrhombashtarrr back into view; each shuffling their papers as professionally as possible.

Q: "GnoGnasp! released a statement earlier today reminding the public that while their bugspray is proven wildly effective against Kashyyyk's large, dangerous insects, its effects against the Kilik are currently untested. Still, officials say that hasn't slowed the demand."

S: "These are certainly unique times. When we come back, we'll have the latest Huttball scores, as well as an inside look at the world of Podracing amidst reports that Kashyyyk may be considering building a course"

The Wroshyr Wrap-up logo reappeared, before giving way to a commercial about Musky n' Husky.