Eyes with Colour Do Not see Shades of Gray

[Gambler]

[OOC: I'm trying out a new style of writing personally for this character, so there will probably be mistakes and I don't get how to open with him this way...]

Eyes that see sometimes chose the worst things to tell stories about. I woke up this morning with a great feeling in my stomach. It felt like I was finally going to be normal! Finally be part of something bigger than the mental hospital I fled so long ago! But today I woke up and told myself "Caecus, they are all going to hate and disdain you like they always do," and then I laid back down on my bed and sobbed for a bit before adorning my blue feathered mask again. By that time I was almost late for meeting someone at this field or whatever it is.

My feet brushed against the ground softly as I ran out of my room and towards the designated meeting area. Every step was propelled by my rising hope of acceptance and fear of rejection. I just wanted to know what they would say. Craved their approval and training. I came to a door and brought a shaking hand to the panel, unable to open it. This was it; this was where my hopes were met or my dreams crushed once more into the blackened oblivion of despair once more. With a shuddering breath I pushed on the panel and entered the room.

At first I didn't notice anything. Where was everyone? I was told that someone powerful would see to me here. See if I was worthy of the title "Shade". Teach me a creed of honour and valour. But I didn't see anyone. All I saw was a circular room around thirty feet in diameter with a domed ceiling. I saw quite a few things, but none of them were people. None of them were this prestigious Master I had hoped for. I slumped slightly for a moment before walking to the center of the room. There I waited. My Master had to show up sometime. Maybe... hopefully.... please?

 

[Ols]

Cain entered the room to find his latest student. He had heard the rumours of his past, the stories of his madness. It was little matter if he could be taught, though. Cain looked at him, the mask and the clothes.

"Caecus? First things first, take that ridiculous mask off and tell me what you have been taught before."

 

[Gambler]

"My... mask?" I asked, unable to grasp the idea. I wanted to argue, to tell him what this mask was to me, but I couldn't form the words. My hand rose of its own violation to my face, touching the masquerade mask gently on one feathered cheek. It lingered there, twitching once, fingers gripping the edge of the blue swayed mask. I took a breath, waging a battle against some hidden, inner demons. But I couldn't resist the order. So I obeyed, ripping the mask off of my pale face. My pale skin all but shown in the light, bringing focus to completely pale yes without irises pupils. I looked away from the man to avoid looking him in the eyes. I could still see him, but I am embarrassed about my eyes.

My ear perked up when I remembered the other part of his question. Training? I hadn't received any training in my life. "Well..." I said, my voice light. "I killed some people with an outburst of the Force before... ooh, and I can see everything... even when I don't want to. But, I wasn't trained by anyone. I was a freak to them all... that's why... why I came here," I said, meekly though I didn't want my voice to sound so. In truth, I was afraid that he would mock me like the rest and I would be powerless to stop him. My fist clenched in irritation and sadness at the thought.

 

[Ols]

"Ah," Cain replied, "I see. Well we certainly have a lot of work to do. First things first, go to the cupboard over there," he gestured a cupboard built into the wall, next to which was a footlocker, "in there are some plain robes, of whichever colour you would prefer. Change into a set and place your clothes and possessions into that footlocker, then return and sit opposite me."

Cain finished speaking and sat on the floor, cross-legged.

 

[Gambler]

For a moment I wondered why I needed to change. And then I realized how silly I was being. For truly, why wouldn't I have to change into the clothing accepted by the Order? Of course I would have to wear robes. So, without protest either mental or physical, I walked over to the wall and opened the footlocker. There were quite a few robes in there. Red, brown, white, and black. It took a minute, but I decided to take the white robes to match my skin. With easy motions I stripped from my clothes, piece by piece going down until I decided to pick up the robe. The robe was adorned easily enough. Slip it over the head, tie the belt and it's on.

"I'm done, uh, Master...." I didn't know his name, so I let it trail off in hopes that he would fill in the blank as I walked to his criss-crossed form.

 

[Ols]

"Good," he replied, ignoring the opening for him to reveal his actual name. He might do that later, but for now they had other things to discuss. As they sat, Cain looked at his apprentice, "now we shall start, quite traditionally, at the beginning. The members of our order live by a mantra, a certain code.
My emotion makes me
My knowledge guides me
My passion drives me
My strength enables me
My harmony balances me
I walk the shaded path

Now let's look at it as to what it tells us. 'my emotion makes me'...what do you suppose that means?"

 

[Gambler]

"Well, I suppose that it could mean many things," I started, surprised at the question as I had all but ignored the mantra. Whoops, my bad. I needed to think for a moment though. "If emotions makes us, then... then it means that emotion is what sets us apart from the rest of the Force users in the galaxy. Instead of blocking out our emotions we allow our emotions to define who we are. We don't contain them but embrace them. And that is who and what we are. Without those emotions we lose both that human aspect of life and become much akin to the droids that are carried around at leisure," I decided at last, the words tumbling out of my mouth now that I carried on with a train of thought.