Ask Don't Ask Me Why

Varyn Atrix

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The Killiks. Varyn still didn't know how that all was going to turn out. Things had been utter chaos across the galaxy since the appearance of the creatures, and Varyn had found himself quite unsettled by the creatures as well. After all, things that could control your mind and strip you of who you were were not to be trifled with.

Maybe, he said noncommittally. Or maybe we'll all be conquered by bugs and then these problems will be inconsequential, he said, a grim sense of humor underlying his words.

The Jedi just aren't honest with themselves and you're right: they're too stringent with things, he said. He'd studied the Jedi of the High Republic and he'd heard the stories about how even when being acted against with lethal intent, they were often reprimanded for responding in kind. It was the kind of extreme that just wasn't practical, but when did the Jedi ever worry about being practical? You had to go back 1000 years to the last Sith Empire.

I believe you, he said in response to her saying that it wasn't poisoned, but he still did not opt to accept. Now you're catching on. I like to keep the mystique alive, he answered in response to her statement about a snack. It was only one small part joke.

Lots of theoreticals, he finally said after a moment. He knew that nothing real was going to come out of a conversation except perhaps a decision on what to do. With each day that passed and each person he spoke to he wondered if throwing himself fully into the Empire was the proper way. What would he have to do to succeed? How many people would he have to kill? But how many people would he save by doing it? It was that same ruthless calculus of war that he'd been reminded of on Corellia.

But there was no death, there was the Force. The Jedi preached that death was not something to be feared, but then clung to it like it was their only hope. Was that hypocrisy? The Jedi would have said that they don't trade lives, but sometimes not trading lives was trading lives. Choosing inaction was still a choice.

He was reminded once again of the teachings he'd heard from Darth Venator before he became the Jedi Battlemaster. Kill one, terrify one thousand.

Would you kill a random person to save a thousand. Or a hundred to save a million? he asked. It was an age old question that many people found difficult to answer.

@LadyRen
 

Celeste Stythani

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Ruusan hadn't been long ago and of course the terrifying memories were still rather fresh. After all, she had started to process everything that had happened just a few days later because the initial shock of the revelation had been immediately followed by that heavy concussion and then she had ended up in one important meeting after another.

Now had been the time to catch her breath, at least for a few days, but who could have guessed that she would end up in her kitchen in the middle of the night, engaged in deep, philosophical discussions with a mere stranger? It was ironic and definitely unexpected, yet the Force was often that comical.

"Mhm...true. Maybe that's the easiest solution to all of our problems after all" she sarcastically agreed. She wasn't usually a fan of dark, grim humor, yet thinking about how those obsessive, megalomaniac, creepy insects had stirred up all that chaos was indeed a bit ironic.

She nodded silently, agreeing with his opinion on the Jedi Order. She had thoroughly discussed the Code with Lukas and they had both agreed on many things. Their stringency was problematic, or even outdated after all and so it was definitely not just the Empire that needed to change.

Funnily enough, it seemed like the stranger who had introduced himself as 'Vi' possessed quite some knowledge about both and she still wondered whether he had just read his texts or how much history he had with either of the two sides. Yet, he still seemed too obstinate too give away his cover.

Yet, his remark made her slightly rolled her eyes with a sigh, however it was in a rather amused than annoyed manner."As a very curious person, you're making it hard for me to keep myself from poking you further" she replied playfully teasing as she took another sip before she nodded towards the door, signaling him to head for the lounge area now, as this would be an even more comfortable place to continue their talk.

She used the time of their relocation to ponder on his next deep, philosophical question, carefully weighing his words. "That's an excellent question, but again one that is hard to answer. I would have given you an unrestricted yes for the first part, however the second is more difficult. I will still say yes and explain it with an example. The warlords here on Rattatak were tyrants. They murdered, they raped and they enslaved. When I was taking over this planet, I exterminated those who were not even open for negotiations. I had to...kill quite a few of them. I was never the one who attacked first. I only started interfering when they started getting violent. It still didn't feel good, but I did what I had to. Rattatak is now a safe, peaceful place. So yes. For the sake of a million innocent, I would also kill a hundred, but it wouldn't be easy for me. I know that justice is subjective, yet I would see the greater value behind that". Her answer wasn't necessarily hypocritical, even if he considered her usual pacifist, diplomatic attitude, but it could still, displease them, that was for sure. "And what is your take on that philosophical consideration?".

@Phoenix
 

Varyn Atrix

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And if they weren't murderers, rapists, and bandits? he asked. She had answered the question, but she hadn't really gotten to the heart of the question. He was asking something far more difficult. Something that caused people to lose sleep at night wrestling with the questions. Those few who ever had to face them, anyway.

He knew he wasn't making things easy on her with how little he'd told her, but there was simply too much at stake. He had nothing to gain and everything to lose by telling her who he really was and what he had done.

She turned his question back on him, which didn't surprise him, and it was only fair for him to answer. Still, his answer didn't come quickly because the answer itself wasn't simple.

I think it's very hard to tell a family that their loved one was worth a thousand times less than someone else, he said. Though he also knew that not all lives were created equal. How many had been lost fighting the Killiks on Ruusan to save the handful of a few delegates. The lives had been weighed and the representatives - even the woman in front of him - had been found to be worth more than the thousands of soldiers who died. They were hard truths that people didn't speak out loud.

So would I do it: maybe. It's hard to say until you're face to face with the choice itself, he said, but even as he said it, something told him he would. He might hate himself for it, but nevertheless...

But then there's another debate to be had about death and the Force, isn't there? Does death even matter? Does killing someone even have significance outside of this very temporary space and time. Our energy returns to the Force in whatever manner you believe, and then it's all the same a thousand years from now anyway, he said. It was an entirely different way of looking at things for better or worse.

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Celeste Stythani

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Of course he wasn't done yet. Of course he wanted to make it even more complicated and difficult than it already was...Yes. It somehow fit the image of him she had started to create in her head. His philosophical and moral series of questions was not coming to an end any time soon.

As difficult and sometimes even challenging that little game was, she enjoyed it. The exchange was indeed...refreshing somehow and even if he insisted on keeping up the mystery, it felt like she was slowly starting to understand is views and thoughts at least. It also seemed like they were approaching the crux of the matter after all.

"Then I would have a severe problem" she began, her lips curling into an almost apologetic smile. "Fortunately, I've never been in a situation where the judgement was difficult. So I would agree with you in that matter. Once such a situation would occur, I would quickly have to make up my mind. I've never been a violent person...I've always found ways to use words instead of weapons". She wasn't sure whether he would be satisfied with that answer either, but to be fair, he hadn't been blunt either.

"I agree with that family aspect too...it even hurt me when I killed those murderous, raping scumbags because I knew some had family. Moral doubts can be devastating...Yet some things have to be done" she added a little pensive before she kept herself from drifting off too far.

Once he went on, she pondered on his words for a moment, realizing once again that whoever she was talking to, he definitely seemed eager to carry on with this deep conversation and she didn't mind at all. She gestured for him to take a seat in the lounge area and did the same, setting down her drink on the table next to him.

"Again, I appreciate you sharing those deep, philosophical thoughts. Yet I'm also not sure whether I have an appropriate answer for that" she admitted with a soft sigh before a smile came back to her lips. "You seem quite sophisticated in that matter. I wonder whether that knowledge comes from books or whether someone taught you all that...". The smile turner into a smirk. She was not trying to pester, yet the curiosity was effervescent inside her.


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Varyn Atrix

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Varyn didn't get to have conversations like these often, and this one was really only facilitated by the helmet he wore. If he took it off he either had to be Varyn Atrix, Jedi Knight or Varyn Atrix, Sith Champion. He realized he barely even remembered what it meant to just be Varyn anymore.

Not only that, he knew that any conversation he would have with a Jedi or Sith would just result in them towing the party line. There wasn't likely to be much by way of creative, outside the box, or genuine independent thinking on the matters. But she had already shown she was capable of thinking for herself or she wouldn't have been here.

I suppose I've digressed a little, he said with a quiet sigh. I spend too much time thinking for my own good, he said, another hint of humor in his tone. He took the offered seat as she asked about his education.

I'm not really much of a bookworm, but I've had a few teachers over the years, he said.

Always a fascination with dueling and military officers, he said. Never took to the philosophical side of the Force as much... hard as you may find that to believe, he said.

What was your inclination? Diplomatic? he asked, knowing the Sith had all sorts of different roles.

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As much as she enjoyed that talk, his refusal to accept any food or drinks made her slightly uncomfortable. She apways wanted her guests to feel welcome -even him, after he had rudely let himself in- and even though he seemed to enjoy the talks, this uniform couldn't be too pleasant...

And she did had a variety of great drinks and snacks...he was surely missing out. This wasn't even about that inner curiosity about a potential face reveal but she just felt bad as a host. She still refrained from asking again since she accepted his choice to keep up that disguise, regardless of how much she wanted to know who was under that helmet.

"That is indeed harder to believe. I would have said you're quite the talker yourself, and not the duelist" she replied with a smirk, even though that wasn't fully the truth. She had seen his inner fire by the way he expressed his thoughts and in the way he opened up about his slighlty more radical, pessimistic tendencies.

He had not just went thorough a lot but he had experienced this whole conflicts from different sides...Also, he was still very reflective and she assumed that he was probably not much older than herself, which made him even more interesting. "Diplomacy, yes. Not a thankful job in the ranks of the Empire, but I loved that challenge. I'm still all about diplomacy and this is why I keep holding onto the thought that peace is possible. I would love to return the question about your inclination, yet I'm afraid I wouldn't receive in answer" she threw him a smile. "You don't stem from a diplomatic core though, do you?". Perhaps he would answer that at least.

@Phoenix
 

Varyn Atrix

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He nodded as she said that it was a thankless job to be a part of the diplomatic core of the Empire. He couldn't say he was shocked, but they had beefed up their galactic presence recently. Making inroads with the Senate and even gaining representation much to the fit throwing of several FWA Senators.

So do you think the Empire's attempts at diplomacy are real? Or all just a farce? he asked curiously. She would be better positioned than anyone to answer a question like that. Varyn didn't trust the new Empress, but at least she hadn't massacred anyone the way the old one had. The fact that she got to retire while so many had died seemed wrong, but as he'd just said, maybe none of it mattered. They were one with the Force now.

No, diplomacy wasn't ever really much of my strong suit. Too impatient, he said, and he didn't have a tendency toward lying... or at least he didn't used to. Now he lied all the time, but he did get creative in ways to insert the truth still.

Like I said, saber and command were always my interests. I used to dream of leading major campaigns and vanquishing my enemies. Maybe even training people in using sabers as well. I've done a little of that. Not sure about leading campaigns anymore, he said.

Some of the battles I've seen robbed me of some of my taste for it, but I suppose I'll just have to get over that. The galaxy is at war, and battles aren't going anywhere, he said.

@LadyRen
 

Celeste Stythani

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"Yes", slightly tilting her head to the side, "It seems like we will soon witness more efforts in this direction as they had lately gained a few more...let's say capable diplomats". Sure, Amira wasn't exactly her bestie, but she had been convincing and diplomatic before. "I don't know too much about the new Empress though" she honestly admitted though. Even though she had been passive so far, they both couldn't be sure about a potential more peaceful course of the Empire though.

She then continued listening to him attentively. It felt like a few pieces of the puzzle were slowly but steadily falling into place. He had just revealed that he was no stranger to lightsabers, and he had mentioned military Officers before. Then now he even used military vocabularies and talked about leading campaigns, which all favored the interpretation that he had been involved with the Empire before.

Sure, he could have been engaged in other military corpses, yet he was way too interested in the tensions between the Sith and the Jedi. However what rather spoke against it was that he seemed to rely on her for answers regarding the Empire...admittedly, that could also be just strategic thinking, but she still felt like she was getting closer. "You surely sound ambitious yourself. I still wonder what drives you though. Is it justice? Are you, too, just wanting to create a galaxy that is more just, more peaceful? And since you sound quite like a fighter: Have you fought against the Killiks too?" she asked the last question out of curiosity, but also because she was wondering whether he had gained some first hand experiences as well.



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Varyn Atrix

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Varyn wondered what the new Empress would end up being like. She was a Sith Empress and one of the heads of the ISB, which meant she had to have rivers of blood on her hands, right? But who didn't in this galaxy? The oldest lie in the galaxy was that power could be innocent. Even the Jedi weren't really innocent.

Ambitious, huh? he repeated. He thought back to his conversation with Vahl and how he had lacked ambition. He thought about how he was trying to find his place in the galaxy... in the Empire.

I don't like bullies, he said. And I've seen my fair share of them, he said, not expanding on that. Too many painful memories in those stories. Not that she was likely to put together who he was just based on his life's story, but it wasn't a very happy story.

Yeah, I've fought the Killiks, he confirmed. Once again, it didn't really narrow anything down. He'd seen what had happened at the summit she'd attended.

What do you make of the bugs? You managed to make it through the fiasco on Ruusan, he said. Many people hadn't, but she was a Sith, after all.

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She wondered whether he had potentially known more about the new Empress than her...after all, he could have also just been a spy for the Empire that wanted to check on her intentions and whether she would sell out information potential enemies needed. There were still a thousand questions in her had and knowing that she wouldn't receive any answers was frustrating, yet she still did her best not to let him notice.

When he repeated the part about the ambitions she slightly raised a brow, wondering where that now came from. "I'd definitely say so. From what I have experienced so far, you sound quite driven. It sounds like you don't necessarily know the real direction, but you seem to be getting there" she replied, still striking, but there was a definite hint of seriousness in her voice.

"Same...Bully is a term that is easier to define than the good and the bad. Again, even of the Empire might often appear as a bully, not everyone inside their ranks is" she agreed with him, knowing that she had already told him that she had dealt with all the slavers and warlords here and they had been nothing but bullies in the end too.

When he confirmed that he had fought the Killiks, she wondered whether he had been on Thyferra, Corellia or perhaps even Ruusan...could that be after all? Oh most definitely. Whoever hid behind that helmet, it could have been anyone after all. "They are a pest. I hate not knowing where they came from, but they threaten each and every one of us. What makes them so dangerous is that we can't even tell who is infected and who isn't...I mean, yes, they'll behave differently after a while, but we don't know enough about that hive mind" she admitted with a sigh, immediately being reminded of what had been a while ago. Back then, the adrenaline had kept her from freaking out, but she was indeed terrified now.

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Varyn Atrix

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Yes, he couldn't say he was surprised she didn't like bullies. She seemed like the type who wouldn't, and he did know that the Empire - and specifically the Sith - were often precisely that. But they weren't going anywhere, which meant things had to change. He wondered if it really was an issue of a few bad apples poisoning the whole barrel.

His mind turned to the Killiks and how very little he knew about them. He'd nearly been killed by one on Corellia, but they were still largely a mystery. Even the initial reports that had come out of the fights hadn't shed that much light on things.

You're right. Their ability to assimilate people without us even knowing it is... unnerving, he said. Assimilate... a word that had primarily entered his vocabulary because of the Qwent keyword. Odd how even the smallest things could shape little bits about you.

His mind turned it over for several moments, and he wondered how many more times he would fight Killiks. Would he be able to be assimilated? Would the Force provide him any protection? He didn't know and he didn't want to find out.

I'm glad you made it out of Ruusan. You seem like you genuinely want to make the galaxy a better place, he said. Whether that would turn out to be true or not... who could say?

Thank you for your hospitality despite my unusual... appearance, he said. He knew he had ate up most of the goodwill that was on offer, and he wouldn't remain in her home just to discuss the Killik invasion. That wasn't something you broke into someone's house for. Though, he supposed, most people probably wouldn't think that speaking of the philosophy of the Force and governments was something you break into someone's house over either, but Varyn's life was hardly "normal."
 

Celeste Stythani

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She was well aware of the fact that he had not come here to discuss the emergence of the Killiks, yet he had been the first one to actually switch to that gruesome topic by asking her for her opinion and she was also fine with taking this detour. It was probably just another clever diversion to avoid further questions from herself, but she was fine with it right now.

After all, they were also the reason why he had originally come here. He had watched the broadcast of Ruusan and thereby the public revelation about her quitting with the Empire and wasn't that exactly why he had come? Because he was...curious? Or yes, perhaps because he wanted information. But he could have wanted all the information in the galaxy...the only information she wanted in return right now was who he was.

"Assimilate" she quietly repeated, musing about that wording for a moment, "That sounds indeed quite fitting. I was quite shocked when a Trandoshan representative attacked me on Ruusan. He seemed completely absent...it seemed like there was no hint of his true self left. That hive mind seemed to dominate each and every move" she explained a bit pensive, but not dwelling on that thought. It had been terrible and she was glad that she had made it out okay...of it weren't for Aezzairrfhowrrhudrrl, that wouldn't have ended well.

Thinking of the Senator of Kashyyyk, she was wondering whether he had seen the tabloid, yet since he hadn't quipped about it yet, it seemed like that hadn't been the case. "I really try. I feel like I'm just at the very beginning and the road will definitely be rocky, yet I won't give up" she replied determinedly before tilting her head to the side. "I've got a feeling that you're trying the same, even though your methods are different" she then added with a smirk, her gaze still lingering on the disguised stranger.

What if she would try to enter his mind...just for the tiniest second to catch a glimpse - no. Regardless of her immensely curiosity, she wouldn't invade his privacy, even if he had intruded hers. "Thank you for that...talk. That conversation was surely refreshing. Could I ask for another piece of information though?" Regardless of his first reaction, she would immediately pose the question that could potentially help her understand. "Where have you been born? Did you grow up near the core?". He wouldn't have to tell her about his background, she just wanted a planet, a potential homeworld because she was convinced that this might have affected his opinions too.

"And I also wonder why you've intercepted me here, where it's rather dangerous as I usually have plenty of guards around me. Wouldn't it been easier for you to invade a hotel room when I'm on a conference or a diplomatic mission somewhere?". Had his quest been so urgent that he sneaked into the predators lair?

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Varyn Atrix

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He nodded as she said that the Trandoshan was completely absent. Yes, that was the way things were. He wondered if there was anything left of the people they had once been. Or a way to reverse what was done.

He was starting to push himself up to leave when she asked him another question. Well, more she asked if she could ask a question and then went on to ask it before he could respond. He measured his response for a moment.

I was born on Coruscant, he said. No returning home now, he said, a statement that applied no matter which side of the war he was on. Neither Jedi or Sith were welcome in Republic space these days. But what home, now? His parents were both dead now and he'd sold off everything that was left when his father passed. Home was among the stars now.

Now home is wherever I am, he said.

Would it have? People's guard is lowest where they live. Where they're comfortable. Who would be insane enough to invade your home? he asked with a snicker.

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It didn't go unnoticed that he seemed to be willing to end this conversation, which made her extremely curious about whether they would ever cross each other's paths again.

She also wondered whether he would answer the question about where he had grown up truthfully, but when he did gave her an answer, it sounded honest indeed."I'm sorry about that" she compassionately replied, not torturing him with any more follow-up questions now.

Of course, she was still curious about the same he came from as his answer was just posing more questions again, but she let it be. The thing he finally said about where his home was now did make her sad though. "I can relate far too well...yet I've got to say that even you should try to find something of...substance sooner or later".

Even though she had been on Rattatak for a few years now, she hadn't fully considered it her home. Due to her duties she was always out and about, but since she had discovered the news of her pregnancy a lot had changed. Thanks to Lukas, she finally felt home whenever he was with her, and ultimately she didn't care anymore whether they would stay on Endor or here.

Before she could drift of his snicker was slightly infectious and so she chuckled as well. "Alright you've got a point. Apparently I am no exception since I had sent my guards off as well" she admitted with a smirk. "It does sound like you're an expert in this area though" she finally added with a humorous tone, as it truly sounded like he had done that before.

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He nodded as she said that he should find a true place of his own, and her words of condolence about his home seemed genuine. Time may have healed all wounds, but it still left scars.

You may be right. I'd like to, he said, his tone almost sad for a moment. There was a hole in his heart that hadn't been filled, and it occurred to him that he spent all of this time trying to fill it with a myriad of different things.

He snickered as well as she mentioned that he was an expert in these things. He'd made a two year and counting career of going into places he wasn't supposed to be. Yes, he supposed he was something of an expert. And even as a Padawan he'd always liked going out and getting himself into trouble.

Yeah, I guess you could say I'm well experienced in getting into places I'm not supposed to be. Skills of a misspent youth, he said, which actually stretched long before the Jedi as well. Back to his days living in the underworld of Coruscant although they had passed quickly.

If I wanted to reach out to you again, is there somewhere you would prefer I meet you? he asked. He'd already made it clear that an office appointment wouldn't work, but he could certainly understand her unease with him just breaking into her house.

Or if you'd prefer I could break into a hotel room while you're traveling, he said, stifling a laugh at referring to her prior suggestion.

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She immediately noticed the hint of sadness in his voice and couldn't help but to feel bad for him. It really seemed like he was a bit behind her when it came to finding his place in all this chaos and even in the galaxy and she would have loved to just...help him or give him some clarity, but she couldn't actually work with the very few information he had disclosed.

"Not just may be right. I've really got to say that I am right and that that's an important thing. We all have to find our place somehow and even if we are both still here with a thousand questions on our mind, you should try consider finding an actual place you call home. Some safe haven, some place where you can truly be yourself. It doesn't matter if that's an actual physical place or even someone. Just...focus in finding". She was not trying to proselytize him in any way, but it really felt like he could use some help, even though he would probably not even let her or anyone else help him.

That was just her. Wanting to help the mysterious home invader after all. She couldn't help but to smirk in self-irony. "I see...I mean that can definitely come in handy. Seems like I know whom to call know if I'm ever in need of such a special service" she humorously remarked while reaching for her drink to take another sip.

What he said next actually made her laugh, even though she was aware of that he was probably even serious with that offer."Well you know where I live...perhaps leave a note somewhere so I can mentally prepare for that visit if you choose the same venue". Sure, she could have told that someone had been inside by his fuzzy presence within the Force, but since it was not actually graspable, a quick hint might help.

She hated the fact that she wouldn't be able to reach out to him as he was definitely disabling that possibility. "Otherwise: Sure, why not a hotel. That would work as well. After all, I'd like this to remain suspenseful, so feel free to surpise me if you ever feel like having philosophical fundamental discussions again" she then quipped, but it wasn't all joke. Looking back, now that she knew he was not bearing bad intentions, it could even be slightly amusing to have him inappropriate pop in some place else. If that was his thing, then so be it. Perhaps he would trust her one day.

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He was surprised how assertively she said he needed to find his own place, and he began to realize she wasn't just talking about a house or apartment. She was talking about something else entirely.

Yes, he did need a find a place. A real place, and with each passing day he felt he was growing closer. Someday.

Indeed, he said. He pushed himself up to leave, but stopped a moment, grabbing a pen and scribbling something on a peace of paper in particularly small and somewhat messy handwriting.

Somehow, I don't think this'll be the last time we meet, Senator, he said. I don't check it often, but you'll get through eventually if you leave a message, he said. When she looked at the paper, she would see that it was a comlink number. The one he used for his contact with the Jedi and never carried with him.

Have a nice rest of your evening, he said, touching two fingers to his helmet in a mock salute. Unless she stopped him, he would head for the door and out into the night.

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It really seemed like their conversation was about to come to an end, but admittedly it had gotten quite late anyway. Even though he agreed with her, it still sounded like he was not actually prioritizing that thought and perhaps he wasn't even convinced that it was something so vital after all.

She studied briefly him, still not quite sure what to make of that reply, but as he started scribbling something down she was quite surprised. "You've introduced herself as Vi, the visitor. But perhaps you won't always be that mysterious traveller..." she mused with a smile as she was truly hoping that he would find his place.

She took his note with a grateful nod after having gotten back to her own feet again. "Thank you. It's nice to know that this is not purely one sided and that I don't have to wait for you to find me again" she gave him a grin while she carefully enclosed the note with her hand.

She was pretty sure that one way or another, their paths would cross again, and perhaps one of them would be further ahead then. "Safe travels, where ever you're going next" she politely said to him while she followed him towards her door.

"Don't let my guards catch you...and I guess don't let someone accidentally kill you during such a home invasion" she added with a chuckle, slightly but amusedly shaking her head at his sarcastic salute. Whoever that was, he was surely...something. she had truly never expected that she would meet such an admittedly interesting contact so late at night, but unconventional meetings were not always bad.

She would close the door after the mysterious man after having watched him walk a few meters. There was so many questions in her head, but she knew she would not find any answers right now, so she decided to let it go before heading to bed. That was definitely a conversation she would remember for quite a while though...

@Phoenix

//End thread
 
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