Brutak

Brutak

New Member
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
10011100010010010010001011001010110010010010010101001101010000010010101001101011001010010011010110011
--------------------------------------Brutak, Padawan of the Jedi Order-----------------------------

NAME: Brutak
FACTION: Jedi Order
RANK: Padowan
SPECIES:Clawdite
AGE: 14
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: 5'6
WEIGHT: 100
EYES: Brown
HAIR: Black
SKIN: Grey/Gray
CREDITS: 1,000
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Nose and facial futures are even flatter than normal for a clawdite.
DOMINATE HAND:Ambidextrous

FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes

STRENGTH: 10 Still young but wirey from a rough upbringing.
DEXTERITY: 16 Agile, you have to be faster than the guy next to you to avoid punishment.
CONSTITUTION: 12 Naturaly endurant, as a slave you either break or get forged.
INTELLIGENCE:10 Quick but not too edjimacated.
WISDOM: 14 Common sense is needed to survive in the pits.
CHARISMA: 18 The combination of shapeshifting abilities and a forceful personality.

Used a D&D perspective on that for stats could not resist, otherwise just look at personality and history to get an Idea of what his attributes are.

FORCE POWERS: Known: Force Push, Control Pain, Remain Conscious, Hibernation Trance, Life Sense, and Force Charged Strike.
Suspected: Feed on Dark Side.

SKILLS:
Racial skill of Shape Shifting, Theft, and highly charismatic.

LIGHTSABER FORMS:
Form VII Juyo/Vaapad

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES: All of his strengths are also weaknesses, He relys on no one but himself, he draws upon rage, fear, and excitement in battle, He focuses on a goal and does nothing but attempt to acheive that goal above all other things. Excells at One on One battles but tends to focus too much on one opponent.

GEAR: Order supplied garb, a lightsaber, and an old sling shot.

PERSONALITY: Brutak is hard to trust others yet if you do earn his trust, he is easy to love in my opinion. How such a gentle personcould of been found underneath all that rage is truely surprising. He seems to prefer silence over speach but is sociable when addressed. Either the strong emotions wich drew me to find this treasure have been buried and forgotten or he harbors and nurtures them I know not. Some where he has a wellspring of sorrow and anger that he may be capable of feeding off of I know not. On a side note his health and endurance has seemed to have improoved tenfold.

HISTORY:

Brutak grew up as a slave who was forced to fight other slaves of the pit where he first learned to channle his anger and despair into his blows, after he would feel better for a time but the emotions would always come back as strong as ever. He also entertained guests usually buisness associates of his owner, master, and a "bantha-breathed bishwag if ever one existed". Brutak was born into captivity and sold shortly after to seperate him from his mother. His father had died in a fight shortly after. It being common practice to keep family appart in the slave pits. His name is not his birth name but the name he took for himself upon the death of his owner, is Brutak, no surname for a slave without his father. One day his owner was beating him and somthing snapped inside him. The rage, anger, and fear usually vented in the arena flooded out of him in an explosive force that with a blow snapped his masters neck sending powerful echoes through out the force. Another wave of fear and confusion followed, with a quick repeat of that over strong surge he broke the chains that bound him and fled into the night, face a bloody reck. Shortly after he blacked out after devouring trash from a dumpster. A few days later a master jedi approached Brutak, such tiny person at the age of seven for such a large ball of rage, depression, sorrow, and revenge that had bottled up inside him that the untrained force user was easily located from so much "Noise". The master jedi at first just offered food and companionship. A few days later when the jedi left, a hopeful left with him.

It has been a few years since those times.He received the title of Padawan inspite of his emotional dificulties and in between there has been much hardship in the now padawans life. he excelled in his lightsaber training but has had some dificulty with forcepowers that focus on others. Outword he appears calm but any master can sense he is a timebomb waiting to expload if he does not come to peace with himself. Another cause of grief, his original master had passed on, so far no Jedi has taken this padawan in. It seems Brutak will never be free from the chains of his past.

Ships:
Nill
Pets:
Nill
KILLS:
Nill
DUELING RING MATCHES:
Nill
GRAND TOURNAMENT MATCHES:
Nill
ROLE-PLAYS:
Nill



------------------------------------------Archived by his Deceased Master -------------------------
11001101001010001001100101010100100101010101010100010010101001101010101010010010101001101010110111
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Jaqen H'ghar

The Faceless MadGod
SWRP Writer
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
14,785
Reaction score
7
Only a few lore issues from me with his history. You wouldn't have been a padawan from the get go, generally you'd have been trained. If your master died you wouldn't be passed around either, so maybe rework that a bit and you wouldn't yet have a lightsaber I don't think, as you'd have a training lightsaber for many years.

Also in the list of things you don't necissarily have to do, but would make the story and character more clear, try writing about how he worked on his anger issues and the like, so we get a better grasp of who he is now as opposed to what he was. We've got that he was an angry bitter kid, but now that he should've had a bit of training what is he like? Whole new chapter to the story in that alone :)
 

jimmy_moon

New Member
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jun 11, 2009
Messages
62
Reaction score
0
I agree with the Anti Hero, but a few more things,
you're not supposed to start with force powers or a saber, you need to be trained in the RP for those, find someone who plays a Jedi and train under them and such.
Also there are a couple of spelling errors, so if you want to refine the profile, that'd be a place to start, it's not horribly important though.

Have fun RPing! =]
 

Brutak

New Member
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
Last sentence of first paragraph in History states he left as a hopeful, he started his training young debating on what the oficial age should be. He attained the rank of padawan just barely, thinking of adding that into the history as well. Thanks for the critique ^_^ Always nice to have others thoughts. :)

------

So late, still working on the profile XD. So I am not supposed to have a character that is a padawan I have to start as a hopeful? Thought it took years of training to become a padawan 6 at least and thats pushing it. If I make a hopefull with a clawdites short lifespan *16 being adult 87 really really old*

----

Ps: Spellchecking it once I deem it complete enough to be a usable character :P

----

Found it

E. Jedi and other Force users are the only characters able to fight with a lightsaber without losing a part of their body or their life. Until the character has been trained by a Jedi or Independent Force users, you cannot use one. . .

B. Characters who use the Force must undergo training from a master. If your “uncle” or “brother” trained you in the way of the Force then you are still restricted to only the Jedi Hopefull abilities as you cannot control the Force correctly until a proper Master, whether it be a Jedi Knight, Jedi Master or an equivilant, has tought you. . .

He has been trained by his deceased master, a jedi master/knight do not see and or can not find a rule stating I Must start out as a hopeful and roleplay through ranks just that I have to have been trained. Please show me the rule that states that and I will make a force Adept and lose the saber ^_^ will change my story a lot but I think I will manage.

----

B. In a pre-established faction, everyone starts off at the lowest level unless given special permission from the Faction Leader. The only exception is when you are creating an Independent Faction, in which case you would start off as the leader.

Asking leader of faction now XD
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Jaqen H'ghar

The Faceless MadGod
SWRP Writer
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
14,785
Reaction score
7
I agree with the Anti Hero, but a few more things,
you're not supposed to start with force powers or a saber, you need to be trained in the RP for those, find someone who plays a Jedi and train under them and such.
Also there are a couple of spelling errors, so if you want to refine the profile, that'd be a place to start, it's not horribly important though.

Have fun RPing! =]

Haha yeah, completely missed that. Meh, it's 2:30 am, I'm allowed a little slack right? :CHappy:
 
Top