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Bellatrix La Rouge
Over the years, I wonder who I am. Am I important? Am I just another nameless star in the vast oceans of space? Or am I someone who shouldn't have even been born? I wonder sometimes why I exist, pondering my raison d'être.
Am I destined for greatness or just a face in an endless crowd, an actress without a role? Throughout my life I've searched for answers, always finding a different result. Woe is the universe, ever changing its destiny.
The Child
My childhood wasn't really anything significant. I wasn't some princess, destined to rule some kingdom, or some secret child from a forbidden love. Just a child of a regular marriage between two Morellian lovers.
However, there was something special about me. I was Force Sensitive. Just that alone wasn't that significant. My parents were Force Sensitive, members of a Force using faction known as the Zal Shey. It was the degree of my strength. I remember once accidentally knocking our pet chitlik off the table during a tantrum; it was only over a small thing too.
Most parents tend to either not realize a child's Force Sensitivity, and when they do, they're unsure what to do, sometimes eager when someone from the Jedi Order comes to whisk the child away. Luckily, my parents weren't in that boat. They knew what to do. Similar to Jedi Younglings, I was taught how to control my connection to the Force. Whenever I would mess up, my parents were always there to help me or fix my mistakes. It felt like it could never end.
The Orphan
For ten years, life was bliss. I can't remember one instance from my childhood in which I wasn't happy, well, not counting the time our chitlik began to hate me after I pushed him off the table, but that's beside the point.
Then I turned eleven.
My parents had decided that they wanted to celebrate my eleventh birthday by vacationing at Zeltros. During the voyage, we stopped at a space station to refuel. I was in the ship with the family droid, R0-J0, while my parents took care of fueling the ship. I was always curious, always watching, so one of the ship's windows became a monitor to a holodrama that was showing the life of my parents. This episode had a sudden twist I was excited about. A strange figure in red armor had approached my parents. Cliches filled my imaginative mind: An old friend. A long lost child. A clone!
The figure never took off his mask, and if it had been a clone, it must have been an evil clone. Before my father could even react, the figure drew a blaster and shot him in the head. My mother was unarmed, having left her lightsaber inside (locked in storage, to my dismay). When the figure turned his attention to my mother, she knew her chances of survival was slim, especially with the arrival of four more red-armored individuals. She barked an order to R0-J0 to fly away. I protested, but R0-J0 obeyed my mother above me. Our ship took off and fled the space station. I watched as she took down three of the assailants before succumbing to their firepower.
Losing a parent is one of the worst things a child can experience, especially when one witnesses their parents murdered. The shock had been great. I don't remember much what happened after R0-J0 and I fled. From what I would later be told, I had locked myself up in my quarters for two days, refusing to drink, so R0-J0 had to feed water into me while I was asleep, which was a large portion of the time. After some time, we were rescued by a Galactic Alliance patrol ship.
One of the first things I remember vividly when I woke up aboard the Alliance's Astronomer was looking at myself in the mirror. The shock had left my hair white. I had refused to bathe, so I was really dirty. Lament came over me, and I cried. I'm not quite sure really how long it was. It could have been minutes. Could have been hours. What I do know is that once I had calmed down, a Jedi had entered my room -without my permission, I might add.
His name was Claudius César, a Jedi Master. He had been hitching a ride on the Astronomer when he had sensed me in my stranded ship, which had resulted in my rescue. At first I thought he had come hoping for a thank-you, but instead asked if I wanted to join the Jedi Order.
Now, living amongst the Zal Shey, I had been told many contradicting stories about the Jedi. Some had them as pacificistic monks. Others as guardians of peace. A few described the Jedi as arrogant and self-righteous. My father detailed them as executors of justice; for me, I thought my father had meant killer, rather than someone carrying out a job. Thus, wanting to 'execute' my parents' murderers in the name of 'justice', I eagerly accepted.
The Atheist
When the Astronomer brought Claudius and I to the Jedi Order enclave on Coruscant, I was brought before the Jedi Council. None of them spoke for five minutes and when they did speak, they asked I leave so they could speak with Claudius in private. Twenty minutes later, Claudius emerged from the council chambers with news that I had been accepted into the Jedi Order.
For the next six years, I was taught in the ways of the Jedi. I was ahead of my fellow students, due to my experiences with the Zal Shey. However, they were counterproductive. My Zal Shey teachings made it difficult for me to conform completely to the Jedi ways. I knew that the Zal Shey were seen as 'Gray Jedi', so I took steps to hide my heritage. In practice, I would purposely mess-up or fail. I took on the name Caracalla while in the Jedi Order.
One thing surprised me though. Revenge was seen negatively in the Jedi Order, making me wonder why Claudius considered me as a recruit, why the Council would even let me join. Were they really that blind?
When I had officially become a Padawan, I requested to be Claudius' student. For three years we trained together, and all that time Claudius never answered me why he had asked me to join the Jedi Order. The Jedi and their cryptic answers. It's doesn't make them seem mysterious, only annoying!
I was not just lifting rocks and batting lightsabers. When I had the time, I would investigate my parents' killers. HoloNews reports claimed that "unidentified men in red armor" killed my parents, but gave me little to work on. I was stumped, until I had asked a question: "Why do the Jedi only operate in the Galactic Alliance? Why not in the Empire too?" Claudius explained that the Empire had their own Force-using protectors known as the Imperial Knights. He described them as 'gray' and hunted down anyone they perceived as a threat to the Empire, but one detailed I hung onto almost fanatically: the Imperial Knights wore red armor.
A decade after I had joined the Jedi, I came in contact with the Imperial Knights during a mission with Claudius. Both the Jedi and Imperial Knights were hunting down Sith students of a Neti named Elder. We never found them, but the experience had been educational and worthwhile: the armor was different. I had been chasing the wrong ghosts.
Luckily, I made mention of this to one of the Imperial Knights, a Epicanthix named Hamal. Hamal asked me to describe these assailants, which he identified as Mandalorians. This was a great clue.
I abandoned my master and went in search of these Mandalorians. I had heard some things about them. I went to the space station my parents had died at and hacked into their archives, finding out who was docked that day. There was only one Mandalorian ship that had docked that day.
I went in search of the Mandalorian known as Tracyn. I tracked him down at Dxun, where he and his mates had been raiding an old abandoned Mandalorian camp. When I found them, I demanded they reveal who had killed my parents. Mandalorians had their honor and why they didn't perceive me as a threat, when I challenged my parents' killers to mortal combat, they accepted. That was their mistake. I slaughtered the first one. Then the second, and the third. The fourth accepted death, seeing it as a glorious end; such filth a dismembered before decapitating. The last was a coward, begging for forgiveness. I showed him mercy... by executing him quickly.
When I returned to my ship, I was surprised to see Claudius there. He had a sorrowful look on his face. All he said was to come with him to Coruscant. Without a word, I followed him. Where journeys had once been a fun pasttime in which we told stories and practiced, the trek home was silent and dreadful. I had never experienced uncomfortable silence before and it nagged at me from the inside like a parasite.
I was brought before the Jedi Council and the first thing they said was, "You were wrong." At first I was unsure what they were talking about, then I realized they were addressing Claudius. It turned out that Claudius had not been the fool, I was. Claudius had seen the hatred brewing inside me when we met aboard the Astronomer and thought he could extinguish it, as he had promised the Jedi Council he would do, thus why they had accepted me into their order. But he had failed. We both did. I had let my anger consume me and I killed Tracyn and his Mandalorian brethren just to quench my thirst for revenge.
I may have failed in their eyes, but not in mine. I stood strong to my beliefs that I had done the right thing. Evil needed to be eradicated completely, not swatted at passively. Claudius knew it, and the Jedi Council knew it. My punishment was exile. The Dark Side can be fueled by hatred, but are not one and the same. I had taken revenge, but had not fallen to the Dark Side. Thus, while I had forced to relinquish my lightsaber, the Force was not stripped from me.
As I left the Jedi Council's chambers for the last time, only one person's disappointment struck me: Claudius. I wanted to reach out to him, to apologize, but I could tell he was at the verge of crying, trying to bottle up his emotions, as the Jedi had preached. I couldn't bring myself to upset that.
I left the Coruscant temple, and then, the Jedi Order, forever.
The Exile
Killing Tracyn and his cohorts had given me a sense of satisfaction, but at the cost of my life as Caracalla. I had lost my parents, and had tried to make the Jedi Order my new family. However, at the cost of avenging my real family, I had estranged myself from my new one. I never saw Claudius again, despite a couple tries to reach him.
My exile had left me without a destination. I wandered for years, visiting numerous planets, especially famous battlefields from the past. My first destination was Dxun, where I buried the bodies of Tracyn and his comrades; I kept Tracyn's double-bladed sword made of beskar. Three years into this odyssey I met a Nightsister named Grendel who had been banished from Danthomir due to her beliefs. We decided to travel together, as we had no one else better to travel with. We were an odd pair. Practicioners of light and dark in an unholy companionship. Though we only spent a year together, we learned a lot from each other. I taught her lightsaber forms. She in turn taught me the Blood Trail and the fundamentals of control web, a technique that required several users.
After Grendel left, I was alone again, and continued my travels to famous battlefields. After paying my respects at Bakura, I went to Endor. While on that planet, my life would be changed by a 'woman' who came to greet me: the Witch of Endor.
The Witch of Endor
The Witch of Endor had been a title that had survived for millenia, the first Witch of Endor having lived around the Great Hutt Wars. When the original Witch of Endor was slain by Sakaki Uchiwa, her apprentice took upon the title and the title would continue to be passed down. And just as Eden Apocryhpa had been apprenticed to the original Witch of Endor, this Witch of Endor wanted me to be her apprentice. With no trail to walk on, I followed her. I followed her teachings, her ways of the Force. The Witch of Endor believed that the Force was energy and that the Light Side and Dark Side were illusions to hide the truth that the Force was neutral, but it was how it is used that results in its corruption or purity.
For thirty years I would live on Endor. My training had not taken too many years, but as apprentice to the Witch of Endor, I was in servitude to her. She was a bit odd though. She refused to let anyone touch her.
During my studies, she taught me a technique that all Witches of Endor had been taught: Dopplegänger. The Witch of Endor wouldn't stop there, and continued by teaching me other forms of illusions.
Endor was full of life, and the Witch of Endor wanted me to learn Animal Friendship, otherwise known as Beast Control, a technique I was able to master well by incorporating tips Grendel had mentioned about control web. While the Witch of Endor emphasized subjugating creatures with this technique, I found it more useful to use it to create bonds with the creatures, making them more complient, and thus easier to control. Of the bonds I created, none were more valuable than the bond with the Queen of the Wisties.
Where once hatred lived, my experiences with all this life replaced the emptiness in my heart with friendship and trust. Where I had once lost faith in life, the Wisties and other creatures of Endor had rejuvenated my faith.
But life is a fragile thing. When I was fifty-two (yes, to you humans that may seem old, but not to my kind), the Witch of Endor disappeared. I searched for her in our camp, but to no avail. All that was in her quarters was a mollusk so small it could fit in my hand. Then it spoke to me. The Witch of Endor, my master, was the mollusk. At first I was confused, but then I remembered back to my studies with the Jedi, when we learned about the many species in the galaxy. The creature before me was called a Croke, a species that could live for thousands of years and were masters of illusions, which explained why despite having spent thirty years with her, I had failed to notice her true identity; this would later serve as a great lesson, as I was then able to learn from my mistakes and be able to identify illusions easier.
I was puzzled why the Witch of Endor was revealing her true identity now, and she explained that she was dying. She had been alive for a long time. I had made the assumption that there had been hundreds of Witches of Endor since the original one, but in actuality, as my master informed me, there had only been three. The first was Sakura Uchiwa, the original witch. Then there had been Sakura's apprentice, Eden Apocrypha. My master had been the third, and had taught many apprentices, but all of them had died. As she departed from this world, I pondered on why I had never asked for her name.
With my master's death, I inherited the title as Witch of Endor. I lived as a nomad as the Witch of Endor before me. I lived on that forest moon for fifty years, until someone came to Endor.
The Chevalier
Hamal had come to Endor in search of Elder's apprentice, Darth Menis. When I revealed myself, he was surprised to see me; the feeling was mutual. I agreed to help Hamal out in hunting Darth Menis, as I was not about to tolerate some Dark Side user to contaminate my utopia. I had lost too many people, I would not allow Menis to add to that count. We cornered Darth Menis near an old Czerka lumberyard where Hamal mercilessly executed the Sith.
That act made me think back to my Jedi years almost ninety years prior, where executing an evil doer had resulted in my banishment from the Jedi Order. Yet here was the "Jedi of the Empire" executing this Sith without worrying about punishment, and it wasn't out of confidence.
Hamal and I talked for a while. He plowed through the stereotypes that had been planted in my head about the Imperial Knights. According to Hamal, the Imperial Knights were the executors of the Emperor's will, combating the evils of the Dark Side, whether it be Sith or terrorist, or the Emperor himself, if it came to it. Unlike the Jedi, the Imperial Knight, disregarding the short history, had very few cases of members falling to the Dark Side, most notably Darth Havoc.
Hamal had described a path that I had once tried to walk with the Jedi: to eliminate evil and carry out the will of the government, rather than an order's own personal self-righteous beliefs. I requested he take me with him so that I could become one of the Imperial Knights. Unlike Claudius, Hamal admitted that he held no authority on the fact, but would allow me to accompany him so that I could be examined.
At Bastion, I was brought before the leaders of the Imperial Knights. The master of the order was the Emperor himself, who took the precautions of using a hologram instead of attending in person. The de facto leader was the Knight-Commander, along with the Seneschal. A few other Masters were present. They questioned my motives. I thought that wanting to eradicate evil and bring stability to the Emperor's control was good enough, but the Emperor chimed that that wasn't a good enough excuse. I could have made excuses, and lied, but I kept to my convictions. I was determined to stand at my beliefs.
The session ended with the Emperor chuckling. I learned that the Emperor was testing me, to test my conviction, my will. I had not faltered, and remained loyal to my beliefs. He accepted me into the Imperial Knights and I became a Knight that carried out his will.
Over the next eight years, I worked alongside the men and women of the Imperial Knights. I would quickly make friends with two fellow knights named Sirius and Maia. The three of us would be trained under Hamal's brother, Master Elkaid. Our duties varied, and we did our best. Whatever was thrown at us, we defeated.
During a meeting with the Grand Moff of Adumar, I had sensed something strange. I asked some of the wisties who had come with me after I left Endor to investigate the area. They discovered three assailants who had masked their presence. I immediately notified the Seneschal who was leading the Emperor's entourage that mission. We went into action and attacked the three assassins before they had time to set their trap. I myself slew their leader.
The Emperor's Hand
Six years I served as a regular Emperor's Hand, spying on suspicious Moffs and assassinating Dark Side adepts whenever they appeared. It was around this time that I had been tasked with assassinating the leader of the Nightsisters who was rumored to be plotting a coup against the Imperial government. Remembering how they had banished Grendel, I felt that I would gain some satisfaction for completing this mission; I think this is why the Seneschal, Electra, had nominated me, alongside Sirius, who had become an Emperor's Hand a year after me, for this mission.
Infiltrating Dathomir was no easy feat, and even more difficult infiltrating their base. But Sirius had a talent for deceit, and was able to get us inside. We entered the throne room to find the Nightsister leader alone, awaiting us. Even though her body was aged, I could tell that the person before us was Grendel. But it didn't make sense. Grendel had been banished from her faction, as I had been by the Jedi. Grendel explained that she and several others had led a bloody revolution and succeeded in taking over the Nightsisters. She tried to persuade me to join her, to show the true might of women.
But I refused. To Grendel's and Sirius's surprise, and my own, I used the Force to sprint over to Grendel. I unstrapped the modified Mandalorian sword and decapitated Grendel without a second thought. She had become a thorn to the Emperor, and I just knew I had to cut her from the rose that was the Empire.
The Emperor's Hound
Many Imperial Knights had executed people, but almost none of them had ever killed anyone they had once been close to, and to kill them so... easily. After that incident, my resolve was never questioned again by my colleagues. I had found my raison d'être and I was not going to let anyone take it from me.
My loyalty to the Emperor and my cause gained me the nickname "The Emperor's Hound". It almost became an unofficial rank, as I became the apprentice of the Seneschal, Electra. For me, I was surprised so many people were making such a big deal out of my loyalty, to my resolve. My ethnocentrism blinded me to the fact that not everyone thought as I did. This became apparent when my original Imperial Knights teacher, Elkaid, left us to join the Jedi Order. Most Imperial Knights were generally prosecuted for leaving, but Elkaid was protected by the Galactic Alliance's truce with the Empire.
For thirty years I carried this nickname as a badge of honor and a badge of shame. Less and less people were willing to socialize with me, in fear that I might do something to them were I to deem them unloyal to the Emperor. Sirius and Maia still considered me a friend; Hamal too, though he became less social in general after his brother abandoned them.
Ordinary life with the Imperial Knights would not stay forever. Nine years ago, I was assigned to oversee the transfer of the Imperial Knights archives to their new home on Rimcee Station. When Sirius, Maia, and I arrived at the Imperial space station, I felt a disturbance in the Force. It was as if a bane had replaced the radiance of the Emperor's presence. The Emperor was dead.
I immediately contacted Bastion, where Moff Abel of Adumar informed me that the Emperor and the Seneschal, Electra, had been executed by Sith usurpers. The Sith had infiltrated the Empire, and were systematically purging forces that wouldn't become loyal to the Sith, namely the Imperial Knights and Imperial Guard. Abel mentioned that Hamal's squadron had been one of the first to be decimated. The Knight-Commander, Iona Peller, was no where to be found.
I relayed this revelation to Sirius and Maia, who had felt the same disturbance but were unsure what to make of it. Maia was heartbroken, but Sirius was different. It was almost as if he was... glad.
I couldn't believe that my world could collapse any further until Sirius took out that lightsaber. In a quick motion, Sirius decapitated Maia and another Imperial Knight. I couldn't move. For years, Sirius had been my friend and here he was killing my comrades. Grendel flashed into my mind, and I knew what I had to do.
Taking out my lightsaber, I attacked Sirius but he fought back with skill I never knew he had. He was good, but I was better, I managed to injure him with a slash to the chest. Sirius realized he couldn't win and fled down a garbage chute. Stormtroopers were approaching, and I thought I could get them to help me hunt down the traitor, but they weren't coming to go after Sirius: they were after me. When they began shooting at me, I used a Force Wave to knock the Stormtroopers down. I was stubborn, but no fool. With the reinforcements I could sense running towards the hangar, I made the decision to flee.
The Lost One
I flew for days without a destination. The Imperial Knights and the Empire as I knew it had fallen. The Sith had taken over. The Emperor and Seneschal were dead. Knight-Commander Peller would be next, if not already. My friends Hamal and Maia were dead. Sirius, Sirius above them all, had betrayed me. I hated him so much, but Elkaid and Electra's lessons overcame me, ushering me away from falling to the Dark Side. I vowed I would take revenge eventually, but through the Light Side.
When I had finally calmed down, I decided Nar Shaddaa would be my destination. I would lose myself in the swamp of refugees, smugglers, mercenaries, and other scum of the galaxy.
It was easy to hide myself, and work was occasionally easy to find, especially when one secretly had the Force to gain an advantage. Finding people was easy enough, and was more satisfaction when the targets were criminals.
But despite all the work I did during that month-long hiatus, it wasn't fulfilling as the Imperial Knights had been. After a while, Nasca the Hutt contacted me about a special job that I had been explicitly asked for. The employer's identity was a mystery to even Nasca, so I was given a side job of uncovering this mystery person's identity. To my surprise, it was the Knight-Commander, Iona Peller. At first, I thought she had come for the databanks I still had in my possession, but they never came up in our conversation. Instead, she wanted me to succeed the late Electra as Seneschal. Peller was wanting to rebuild the Imperial Knights in order to regain the Empire from the Sith, and she wanted me to stand by her side as her second-in-command. My old dedication to the Imperial Knight sparked like wildfire as my resolve to defeat the Sith was rekindled.
The Seneschal
I accepted and we went exploring for possible hideouts. Our search brought us to the crashed Star Destroyer Republic's Might. Peller rechristened the ship the Sith's Folly, and it became our new base of operations.
Over the course of eight years, we gathered the scattered remnants of the Imperial Knights. The Imperial Guard joined our ranks too. Guerilla warfare was our new tactic of attack.
Eventually, we felt strong enough to go after the Yaga Shipyards and steal a Star Destroyer. We managed to steal the Excalibur, but got an extra bonus: Yaga's Grand Moff, Ein Morgenroete. I don't know why, but Morgenroete reminded me so much of Sirius, and I was not 'pleasant' in my interrogation. He finally revealed that the new Sith Emperor, Darth Judicar, planned to visit either Ilum or Lehon in search of a new Sith academy.
The Imperial Knights saw their chance to go after Judicar. We contacted many rebel forces that resided in the Empire that we had befriended over the last few years, such as the Muunilinst and Zal Shey, to ask them for help. Many of them agreed and we massed two fleets: Peller would take one to Lehon and I would take Ilum. We knew that our fleets alone weren't strong enough to take on Judicar's fleet, but weren't actually wanting them to win. In actuality, Peller and I had devised for the amassed rebels to act as decoys while the Imperial Knights would infiltrate Judicar's ship and kill him.
However, plans don't always turn out well. While waiting at Ilum, I sensed Peller fall in battle. Darth Judicar, albeit injured from their duel, had slain Peller, and the Imperial fleet had crushed a significant portion of the rebels at Lehon. The operation had failed.
The Knight-Commander
Peller's death meant I was the new Knight-Commander. The Imperials at Lehon had defeated Peller's fleet too easily for them to have been unaware of the Imperial Knights' operation. Peller had taken Morgenroete with her, so my guess is that he notified the fleet ahead of time, or the whole thing might have been a trap from the beginning. Whatever the case, I was not willing to let the same befall the fleet at Ilum. I ordered all forces to scatter and fleet. The Imperial Knights fled Ilum aboard the Excalibur moments before an Imperial fleet arrived.
Back at the Sith's Folly, I informed everyone that Peller had perished in battle. Still, it had not been in vain. Peller's duel with Darth Judicar had resulted in Darth Exodeus in betraying his master. However, the blessing was an omen in disguise. Darth Exodeus turned out to be crueler than Judicar had been, evident by massacring the Muunilinst, which I believe was a result of them aiding us. So many lives lost just because of the actions of a few.
The Sinner
For too long the Sith have been a bane to the galaxy, leaving death in its wake. The Sith were never fully eradicated due to sentimental mercy given to some, and laziness after the main branches were taken care of. If the Sith are to be defeated once and for all, no trace of the Sith must ever be found. No survivors. No prisoners.
Peller had aimed at only eliminating the Dark Lord of the Sith, and that's not enough. All must executed. History may regard us as evil for what we must do, and for that reason, I shall burden all sin. I shall carry the sin of genocide of the people of the Sith. I shall do whatever it takes, whatever the cost, if it means destroying the Sith. If I have to crush the Empire in the process, so be it, since it can always be rebuilt. If I have to massacre Force adepts tempted by the Dark Side, so be it, as long as they don't join the ranks of the Sith.
Then, and only then, shall I be made to atone for the sins of the Imperial Knights, for I shall take all of the Imperial Knights' sins as my own. I wonder, will my heart survive? I have found a new raison d'être, but I wonder if it'll herald my destruction.
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