Under Review Sith Order Adok Supernova
- Thread starter Davonn
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2017
- Messages
- 3,654
- Reaction score
- 2,374
- Staff
- #3
Sorry for the delay in reviewing this profile.
Now that I am here, thisI gotta say. While doing the character profile all in an image seems cool, it does make it harder to read.
That being said, I do have issues with some of content too, which will need to be adjusted.
As per the Jedi write-up, no Darksiders have fell to the dark side or left the Jedi. Instead of rogue Jedi in the fourth paragraph of the bio, they are more likely to be random dark-side users. Second, Guardian is one of the lowest ranks which you can start out at, it is on the side. But the paragraph has him deemed a Darth, and Darth has to be earned in the roleplay. Secondly, characters start out as unknowns, and don't have a reputation. The Jedi as a faction would not be aware of this characters existence even vaguely.
Also just for clarification, by the time your character was 21, the Sith Eternal was still a tiny cult that didn't have anyone be a Darth rank anyways, as it died with Palpatine.
I'll also have to ask about clarification of the first few paragraphs of the beginning. So, your characters father wanted their child to join the Jedi out of geiune desire to ' for their family name to be something. Was denied (I wonder why he was denied). But his father seems to worship ancient Sith Lords and possessed a great deal of knowledge about the Dark Side?
Seems a bit odd.
When you are ready for me to take a look at this profile let me know.
Now that I am here, thisI gotta say. While doing the character profile all in an image seems cool, it does make it harder to read.
That being said, I do have issues with some of content too, which will need to be adjusted.
As per the Jedi write-up, no Darksiders have fell to the dark side or left the Jedi. Instead of rogue Jedi in the fourth paragraph of the bio, they are more likely to be random dark-side users. Second, Guardian is one of the lowest ranks which you can start out at, it is on the side. But the paragraph has him deemed a Darth, and Darth has to be earned in the roleplay. Secondly, characters start out as unknowns, and don't have a reputation. The Jedi as a faction would not be aware of this characters existence even vaguely.
Also just for clarification, by the time your character was 21, the Sith Eternal was still a tiny cult that didn't have anyone be a Darth rank anyways, as it died with Palpatine.
I'll also have to ask about clarification of the first few paragraphs of the beginning. So, your characters father wanted their child to join the Jedi out of geiune desire to ' for their family name to be something. Was denied (I wonder why he was denied). But his father seems to worship ancient Sith Lords and possessed a great deal of knowledge about the Dark Side?
Seems a bit odd.
When you are ready for me to take a look at this profile let me know.