Ask A Security Upgrade: Brawling With Pigs

Drastus Drahr

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Drastus had been busy smoking the Oinkettes in the dance off and the morale for the Pajama Clan was skyrocketing. He could feel it. So imagine his surprise when he saw that dastardly Groc'kk come at his team while they were occupied! But this just in, folks, the chair was against regulation, and since the regulations were out the window, guess that means its time for a special referee! Drast would sprint around the match and come up behind the villainous hog and when that chair lifted over his head in preparation for that downward swing, the Nature Boy, would go for the jump grab.

"Watch out, watch out, watch out! Chair-k-o from outta nowhere!" the droid would cry in basic before repeating it in oinkenese.

Timing it just right, he'd be able to grab the chair both before the oinking happened as well as before it descended. Hopefully with the element of surprise and some of that weight behind it, he could try to if not tamper with the effectiveness of the attack, maybe even score some of that sweet chair music on the pigs head. "Pajama Clan!"

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Drow Venn

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Drow wasn't exactly sure what Drastus was doing was legal necessarily but the Gammorreans had stated at the beginning that this test was for the Jedi and their allies - they didn't necessarily specify how many Jedi could be in the ring at once. Plus given how Groc'kk had come out of nowhere with the chair, it wasn't as if Drastus was being too far out of line.= and given how the contest was going so far, it seemed the Gammorreans weren't too strict on who jumped into the ring as long as they were willing to throw down. Drow hoped so anyways. He'd hate to have to take these beatings from Gammorrean for nothing.

Drow let go of the hold he'd had on Hort'in's throat once the pig tapped out and worked his way on worming out from under the pig's bulk. Then he'd follow it up with a solid roundhouse kick to Groc'kk's face.

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Jago Haaldin

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Jago grinned as his tactic worked and the resultant tap of Hort'in. Though that smirk quickly turned to a look of surprise as the other Gamo came at him with a freaking chair of all things. His only course of defense would have just been to block the chair with his own Matukai Gauntlets, though Drastus had other plans. The padawan's quick reaction would give Jago the time to release Hort'in arm and roll to the right to avoid the attack if it came and with a quick push of his arms at the end of the roll he'd jump back up to his feet.

The Matukai would see Drow still prone on the ground so he'd try to keep Groc'kk off the Jedi. "Well that was a bit dirty, let's see how you handle me on my feet yeah?" Jago's smile would return and he'd quick step in and throw 2 quick jabs with his left with the knowledge they'd do little to hurt the massive pig if they even came close to landing, but wanted to give Drow a bit more time to get on his feet.

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The Storyteller

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Groc’kk was the strongest fighter than the clan had and he was not about to be outdone by some pipsqueak. Still, the chair came down hard on his head, denting the metal… and pissing the large Gammorean off more than anything. Toweringly tall and stocky even for one of his race, Groc’kk was known for his resilience above all else, well, aside from his strength.

For the large Gammorean had mastered the art of throwing his weight around.

He oinked and squealed in his native tongue, the protocol droid translating though it seemed pained to be translating directly. Full of grammatical errors.

“You think you Jedi are hot shrak?! Groc’kk will show you…!”


Grabbing hold of one of Jago’s fists as it lashed out at him, he would pull the enemy at the last possible second, pulling him in the way of Drow’s roundhouse kick. With either the kick landing on Jago or at least pulled back so it wouldn’t hit him, Groc’kk would reach down and grab Jago by his belt before lifting the sentient up above his head in a feat of controlled strength.

“… It doesn’t matter what you think!”


He would bodily throw Jago at Drow.



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Drastus Drahr

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Drast didn't really think the chair would drop him, he just didn't want to think about what such an item could do in the hands of a pig so... massive. Like, if Drast decided to, right now, Groc had enough rolls to open up a bakery. Every movement was just a tidal wave of.. well, rolls just lapping against some poor weakened shore. "No way it was that eloquent." Drast would say with a laugh.

Thankfully, the giant pig just seemingly forgot about him, and now that dented metal chair. With a shrug, the positioning, and hopefully a bit more luck, Drast would aim a swing of the chair at the backs of those sweet and sensitive knees. Come to think of it, Drast really liked to aim for those.

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Drow Venn

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Drow indeed held off on his roundhouse kick, not wanting to hurt Jago. But with Groc'kk stopping to lift Jago above his head, there was a brief moment where he was mid-lift and, thus, his throat was open as he was liftin the Nautolan Jedi above his head. With Jago safely out of harm's way, Drow sent his roundhouse kick forward towards Groc'kk's throat.

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Jago Haaldin

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Well Jago had to admit he hadn't expected the large lumbering Gammorrean to freaking grab his wrist. He thought his jabs quick enough to avoid something like that but it wasn't the first time Jago had underestimated an opponent. The question now was what the Matukai was going to do about it. He knew techniques to break such holds, but the massive hand of the pig man combined with his sheer strength made most of those moves impossible. As Groc'kk went for Jago's belt a smile lit up the Nautolan's face, he had an idea.

He'd let Groc'kk complete the grab and allow the Gammorrean to lift Jago up. It was the moment of whatever squealing growling taunt that Jago would make his move. As Groc'kk pumped his arms forward to throw Jago, the Nautolan would swing his own arm down and aim two fingers for that massive pig nose on Groc'kk's face. 2 of Jago's fingers would plunge into the Gammorrean's nose just as Groc'kk released Jago for the throw. Jago would hook his fingers and rotate his body with the throw, wrenching Groc'kk nose and jolting the pig's whole body forward, right into the path of Drow's roundhouse kick. Jago would go right over Drow's head and he'd unhook his fingers once he was positive he'd killed most of the force from the swine's throw.

He'd still be thrown several feet, but the nimble Jago would fold inward and roll once he hit the ground. The throw was still pretty forceful even with Jago lessening the force and his shoulder was the first part of him to hit the ground before the roll. Jago let the momentum of his roll finish and sprang back to his feet and turned back toward the fight.

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Groc’kk was not having a fun time – a three on one handicap match was tough odds even for someone of his prestigious strength to overcome. The chair to the back of his knee made him grunt as the knee buckled under his weight and the added weight of Jago who he was hauling up into the air.

This lowered him enough and caught him off balance enough that he couldn’t react to the one-two set up done by Drow and Jago. Rather than using the body of Jago to block the kick, he caught it clean on the chin instead. At least he managed to throw Jago forward with all the strength of his arms, completely missing the hold Jago had on his nose because of how disorientated he was by Drow’s kick.

So he launched Jago forward with his monstrous arm strength and it didn’t matter that he had hooked his fingers in his nose – because it just tore his nose up.

Jago would be launched much faster than he expected, still over Drow’s head but spinning from the resistance Groc’kk’s nose had put up. With the sudden application of a lot of force, Groc’kk had torn his own nose, pulling the bottom of his nose up from his upper lip so that both nostrils were actually not connected to his face properly at all.

Blood streamed down his face.

“Oh my! Poor showing, I say, poor showing! Targeting the nose like that… bad show! He’s bleeding like a stuck human!”


Groc’kk was in pain but more than that – he was incensed and so were the crowd. Calls of entertainment were turning more violent and angry. Gammoreans might not be conventionally attractive to members of other species but they had their own standards of beauty and Jago had basically done the cultural equivalent of throwing acid in the face of a super model to them.

The towering Gammorean backed off to the side, shaking his head, sending blood flying through the air as he backed away so as to keep all three of the enemies within his sight. Though in a thunderous rage, Groc’kk was cautious now.


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Drastus Drahr

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Drastus was in near disbelief. They had made the pig uglier? Was that even possible? Either way, the protocol droid started crying out in protest. Even the sight of dangling pig nose just -dripping- with blood was disgusting. He took a moment to recover, before exhaling slowly. "Is it bad that I'm almost.. hungry now?" he asked his companions, his voice low.

He tossed the chair aside. "No Gamorrean can beat the Drast! Not them!" he'd point to the Oinkettes before the finger glazed over to Groc'kk "..and especially not him!" He was going to play the Galactic Wrestling Federation Villain for the trip. Seemed like the right play. He'd laugh evilly, hoping to spur the large pig into a charge. "You claimed you could crush us, and yet now you cower!"

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Drow Venn

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It was never easy with Gammorreans. Here they were reacting poorly to a contest they themselves had insistd upon. Granted, Drow personally wouldn't have used that nose maneuver like that - it had too high of a risk of serious injury but he couldn't really begrudge Jago for it. Right now, it seemed the fight was basically theirs but he wanted to make sure he finished this thing out honorably and mercifully. The need of the Order for the Grojuk clan aside, Drow didn't want anyone walking away from this fight with anything more than a couple of scrapes and a bruised ego. So he did the Jedi thing.

He knelt down on the ground and meditated.

"Mighty Groc'kk! You've fought honorably and when this fight is over, I can heal your nose with my Jedi powers!" Drow said before kneeling down, trusting his companions would be able to handle the injured Groc'kk and hoping the ammorrean would heed this advice and tap out. Even if he didn't, Drow still planned on healing him but he knew how gluttonous for punishment some Gamorreans could be. Some Ishi Tib too, come to think of it.

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Jago Haaldin

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He rolled on impact...and kept rolling. The pig guy had thrown Jago much harder than he'd thought possible, his nose move hadn't slowed the throw at all! He was lucky he hadn't ended up hitting Drow for that matter. Once he was convinced he'd cancelled enough of the momentum he'd plant his feet and come to a skid of a stop.

Jago stood up and smiled about to give a comment on Groc'kk wonderful throw...that was until he saw the poor aliens face. His smile instantly faded as he saw his "handy work". He of course noticed the wet feeling on his hand and looked down to see it covered in blood instead of what he originally thought was snot. Jago cursed himself in that moment. He'd thought he'd been clever with that move, he had no intention of causing that kind of damage to the warrior.

Drow would drop down and offer aid and forgiveness, that was the Jedi way. Jago would steel himself and approach the warrior and deal with this the Matukai way. He looked to the droid and nodded to indicate he wanted it to translate as the crowd grew more and more restless. "Honorable Groc'kk, my Jedi friend here will keep his word and that injury won't be permanent...but I know you yeah? My people believe you don't truly know someone until you fight them. I want you to truly know me Groc'kk and that I had no intention of maiming you. So step forward and let us settle this like proper warriors yeah? Allow me to properly apologize for this dishonor." He'd look to Drastus and smiled and addressed the Padawan in a lower tone. "I appreciate the assistance bud...but this is between me and him now yeah?" He'd offer Drastus a nod to reassure the young man that he could handle it. The Matukai would then square off with Groc'kk again and fall back into the traditional teras kasi ready stance.

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Groc'kk grumbled to himself before raising his right hand to signal that he wished to speak. The crowd quietened down and Groc'kk moved forward, ignoring Drast and his blustering. In their culture the young often spoke loudly and out of place so hearing another piglet squeaking was hardly worth mentioning.

Instead of moving to Drow, however, Groc'kk moved to stand up to Jago. Staring down at the fighter, he reached up slowly with his right hand to cup his nose. Smearing his palm with his own blood, he pulled the hand away to reveal a piggy little grin as he held out his now bloodied hand for Jago to take.

Whispers started around as the Clan grasped what this meant. The droid was jostled to translate as Groc'kk grunted and oinked without taking his eyes off Jago and without lowering the offered hand.

"Groc'kk of Clan Grojuk extends the offer to be blood brother to Jago Haaldin of the Matukai!"



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Drastus Drahr

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Drast would nod to Jago "Kick his shebs, Jago-myte." He would then move to stand by Drow. Upon the giant pig smearing blood on his hand and extending it to Jago, he just muttered beneath his breath. "Oh gods above, Jago.. don't do it. He could have PigTD's.."

Did he understand the importance? Oh yeah, but what was that saying? No glove, no love? He was almost possible that could apply here. Being Mandalorian he knew all about blood pacts, but the sterility was not looking too good.

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Drow Venn

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Well, this was certainly unexpected but not altogether unfortunate. Drow rolled his eyes at Drastus' posturing and stood up to put a placating hand on the young one's shoulder. Drahr was a good Jedi and a hell of a fighter but, for now, this battle seemed to be between Groc'kk and Jago. Although, Drow had handled this how he thought a Jedi should, he did rather hope that this didn't mean the Grojuk clan were now pledged to Jago. Or the Matukai. While Jago was a good lad and he respected the martial tradition of the Matukai, his purpose for coming here had been to get help for the Order. Ah well. He'd have to see how these chips landed. Drow let the Force work as it would and watched to see what happened.

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Jago Haaldin

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Jago would step forward and meet Groc'kk and stare up at the massive alien being. Then a smile would cross Jago's face. This very well could have been a ruse by the Gammorrean to get the upper hand, but Jago had a good feeling about this. So Jago did what he always did and followed his heart on the matter. While a bit superficial the tumble he'd taken earlier had broken the skin, so Jago wiped his hand over the wound and coated his hand in his own blood and reached out to accept Groc'kk's hand.

"I Jago Haaldin of the Matukai and ally of the Jedi humbly accept your offer Groc'kk." He'd grab the pigman's hand firmly to accecpt the offer. Jago truly wished to accept the warriors offer if legitimate and too that end Jago would relax. The ball was no in Groc'kk's court to decide what happened next, but Jago would trust in the honor that the clan spoke so highly off.

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Groc’kk oinked and grunted in his native language as he shook hands with Jago and the crowd around them erupted into happier grunts and oinks than had previously been uttered throughout the clan. The droid came over to translate for Groc’kk as the large Gammorean wrapped a friendly arm around Jago’s shoulders to lead him somewhere.

“The Groc’kk would have his Blood Brother Jago drink grog with him.”
The droid translated before adding, “Do not worry Mister Jago – Grog is safe to consume by other species as well. I have been reliably informed it is similar to a drink known as Port in a Storm.”

The strongest alcoholic drink in the Galaxy that could safely be consumed by almost every species in the Galaxy. Rather than continue to assist with translation issues between Jago and Groc’kk (Ooink with ‘Drink’, not too hard to get with hand gestures), the droid moved over to the Elder, Grojuk Gamorgon, who had moved over to Drow. He held out a hand to clasp the Jedi’s forearm in a firm embrace.

The seriousness of the moment may have been undercut by the fact that he was oinking seriously. The droid translated quickly.

“Elder Grojuk declares the convictions of the Jedi and their allies to be strong – Clan Grojuk declares the enemies of the Jedi to be their enemies, the young of the Jedi to be their young and the will of the Jedi to be their will. Glory!”




Good job guys!

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Drow Venn

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Drow's body ached from the fight but he took the Gamorgon's offered head and shook it firmly.

"Honorable Gamorgon, we gratefully accept your friendship! Your clan will be protected by us and we will give you an honorable position on our home and give you no shortage of foes to vanquish!" Drow said, knowing that with the Sith and Five Syndicates out there, he'd easily be able to live up to that promise. Seems the Jedi Temple had the makings of a very capable security force now with the Grojuk clan on their side.

He smiled when he heard Groc'kk offer up grog. He'd wondered if Jago would be able to weather a Gammorrean drinking session. With how the young Nautolan had fought, he didn't doubt it.

"I owe you both. You fought like true warriors. If this were back in my merc days, I'd be happy sharing a foxhole with any one of you." Drow gratefully told Drastus and Jago before tending to Groc'kk's facial injuries, as he'd promised.

/ExitThread

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Drastus Drahr

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Drastus would give the Oinkettes the deadly 'watching you' fingers. They knew he gave them the whoopins of their lives in the cheering section. As Drow got ready to heal Groc'kk, he would drape the Jedi's cloak around his shoulders. "Make sure you pass that message onto Master Sati for me, yeah?" he said with a grin. Speaking off, he'd head off to find a comm to give his Master a check-in call. She was never going to believe this.

/exit thread

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