Running Up That Hill

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

The Peak of Power

Spoiler: Music OOC

A girl cries in the dark.
A girl cries; a girl with a broken heart.
It wasn’t a boy that broke it, no…it wasn’t Lin.
It wasn’t that other kid.
It was her.

You broke it.

Broke it all…

…Stupid kid.

A girl sits up in the dark, can’t open her eyes.
But she can’t keep crying.
A girl gets up, sits on the edge of her bed; what was once comfy feels rough again.
Not my bed…
A girl remembers.
…Only to forget…

This wasn’t even her room, not her quarters.
She had swept it with broom, stuck with it like partners.
But soon it would be time to part.
Will we forever be apart..?

A girl is silly.
She asks questions she can’t answer.
Thoughts in her head.
Echoes.
They break her.
Turn all that purple red.

And she lashes!

The lamp!
THE LIGHT.
Throws it.
-Crack!-

THE LIGHT.

Another lamp.
Another…
A girl can’t even see.
She just picks up things.
Throws ‘em.
In the dark.

She yells…hears her voice…but it’s a whisper…so pale.
She wails, muscles burning, but she's weak...so frail.
She loves, she hates, yearning—and the floor quakes, vibrates, a girl's world turning and turning!

YOU BROKE IT.

YOU BROKE IT ALL.

And a door opens.
And he steps in.
A girl is frightened.
It's not Lin...

It's him.

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Spoiler: Music OOC [Recurring]

A girl feels cold...
So cold...
And old.
Old like Nan.
But Nan was young once.
These thoughts don’t mean much.
Just the musings of a little girl out of touch.

She’s a teen. Lean. Small.
Not tall like Lin.
Lin…
A girl remembers him.
But she sees…

…Him.

He’s at the doorway, that door between worlds, swirling around the room like shadows twirling in the light.
A girl begins to make both lights twirl and whirl.

It’s night, it’s day, a girl cannot say.
Darkness is all the same, and the girl is in so much pain…so much pain!
She shakes.
All that pain—If agony was an earthquake.

And she hates.
And she cries.
She wants to die.
Does not know why…

She’s standing still.
In the middle of a room.
And at the doorway is a dark shape.
And a girl knows what it that shape makes.
A girl’s doom…

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Spoiler: Music OOC [Recurring]

A girl just can't stop.
Just can’t stop crying.
Cheeks like frozen raindrops.
Poor kid.

Lin…
He can’t hear her.
She can’t hear him.
A boy can’t hear a girl.
Can't hear her fists whirl.
Can't hear her kicks twirl.

But I know you’re there…
He’s there, she’s here.
But you’re near.
A Jedi could sense, a Jedi could feel.
So a girl reaches out, attempts to heal.

Lin…help…me…please…

All that pain inside a girl…
A mountain.
A mountain of anguish.
A peak of pain.

Her heart, heavyweight, like a freighter, like getting hit by a train.
She’s laying on the track, lying on the rails.
She wails.

Tries the comlink.
Lin…
Can’t hold it.
Can't think.

So she throws it.
It’s another lamp again.
-CRACK!-
Can’t phone a friend...

She’s afraid…
For herself.
For her fate.
There’s a shelf.
It goes the way of a dinner plate.
-CRACK!-

And she stops.
She’s done this before.
Wept and raged, like a maddened bird locked in a cage, unable to contemplate her loss of faith.
While a shadow waits at the gate.
Yes…that darkness at the door…

Waiting for a girl…
But, upon her bed, all a girl can do is curl.
Like in her quarters on that ship with Lin.
With a box of tissues and that holovid.
She can’t sleep.
So a girl will weep...

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Spoiler: Music OOC [Recurring]

A girl is sorry.
She didn’t mean to be an obstacle; get in the way.
She’s not an object; not a dog astray.
Things just got awry.
Awful.
And a girl does regret.

She was born to fight—to survive.
Scratch with nails.
Bite with teeth.
Tough life.
Rough upbringing.

A girl had to claw her way through the street.
She had to steal and thieve just to eat.

Bitter droplets on a pillow...
A girl thinks.
Twisting rivulets like rivers that billow...
Silly thing.
Crying doesn't make the pain go away...
Her eyes are like diamonds, diamonds in a sky, in a ring.
Just tears in the rain...

She remembers those times, that life.
She remembers her grandmother, or the one she called Nan.
She thinks of how precious she was, how right.
Keeping her on course, away from wrong, O so caring hand.

But my hands…are…wrong…not...strong…
They could not lift her—not her, but her.
The Sith Harlot.
The lightning.

THE LIGHT.

Lightning’s bite.
Fight.
Might makes right.
Sith can die.

A girl HATES.
DIE!

And the bed breaks!
Collapses.
A girl’s heart—shattered.
Scraps and shreds.
Metal caves in.
-Crack!-Crack!-BEND!-
No more bed.

Rage…

…Against the dying light…

A girl cannot open her eyes.

Something has awoken.

Yes…the darkness has…come in.

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Spoiler: Music OOC

“It is such a quiet thing, to fall,” Master once said.
“But far more terrible is to admit it.”

A Jedi does not fall…

What about a Jedi in love?
What did they say about that one?

Such a thing was not supposed to be.
Was not supposed to become.

"You are not a child," he said. "You are no one."
Nothing more.
Nothing less.

…No one…

She’s standing in the middle of a room.
No one.
Purple light, red light on the walls, on the rails, like lightning in runes!
Stuck in time as the universe passes her by, a galaxy that rolls and rolls.
Like rope, like a cord, like getting pulled between two black holes.

Nonsense.
A girl says.
A girl who just misses her friend.
Wants him back again.
She feels him.
Even though she can’t move, can’t feel anything.
She feels him.

Lin…
…Help me!
LIN!

“Help…me…p-please..!”

Lips quivering—
Quivering lips.

Can barely speak.
Hardly hear a thing.

Oceans are whirlwinds in irises.
Will they ever stop?
A girl doesn’t know…
Can only feel her heart throb.
Wonders when it will go…

She cries inside.
Outside, there is no time.
No going back.
That shadow, wrapped in a blizzard, traps a shallow moment.
Echoes in the wind…

Inside she’s violent!
Raging!
Crying!
HATING.

She can’t breathe now.
A girl’s world is turning, spinning around.
UPSIDE DOWN.
It’s a carousel!
Dark shapes at the corners.
Behind her eyelids.
A girl is frightened.
They flutter, flicker like city lights.
Vibrant violet, burning barriers and borders!

Darkness.
It’s a curse.
A spell…
Keeps a girl in her hell.

If she could turn back the clock…she would not.
Could not.
Whatever happens next, a girl gave her best.
Failed the test.

But she cannot have what is not hers.
For better or worse.
Master told her that.
And a girl does not forget…

She remembers him.
Lin…

And maybe there’s no hope.
But that’s okay…
Because maybe there is hope.
Maybe anyway...

Dreams are like springs rushing through a meadow.
Nightmares are made of pain; haunting echoes, razor blades on veins.

But then...
There’s a pulse, a heartbeat—blazing!
If a girl could turn back the clock, she would, again and again!
A girl is lost, lost in the dark, like an infant in a night at sea—

THE LIGHT.

Headlights at high beam!

THE DYING LIGHT.

FIGHT.
FIGHT AGAINST THE DYING LIGHT.
THE DYING LIGHT
THE LIGHT.
THE LIGHT.
THE LIGHT.

And a girl opens her eyes!

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Spoiler: Music OOC

A girl is flying, flying high!
Look at the world, so bright!
Sunlight is wild, like a violet eye!
Day's good bye to the dying night!

A girls eyes open!
I can see again!
See the end.

Twilight agony.
Anguish in a dish.
Takes its toll; sanity.
Buried as a dead wish.

Lightning!
But light!

"Lightning..."
A girl will sing!
"...BUT LIGH—"

A girl will SCREAM!

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

Bite the emerald lightning!

Storm's zap.
Gale's clap.
O so mad.

Is not all.
Cannot fall.
Bound to wall.

A girl's back is rather pinned.
Held up like a little lemon.
At the doorway is him.
No, not him...
...Him...

“What does a Jedi see when in pain?”
The voice is cold, old, like buried rain.

“The light!
THE LIGHT!”
Voice so bright!

“What does a Jedi feel, Leh’Min’Ayd?”
“Control! Over my soul!”
“What does a Sith feel?”
“RAGE.”
“Their eyes? What do they peel?”
“THE DARK SIDE.”

A girl is weak.
A girl must heal.
A girl must sleep.
Can't think or feel.

“Right.”
He lets go, she falls on her side.
“What is in between these feelings?”
Steps forward, from the dark, into the light.
“What makes a girl stand? Keeps her from kneeling?”

“The in between, that circle, so round!”
The Force had lines, corners defined.
The light—the right side up.
And then the dark side.
But a master teaches...
The undefined. Unrefined.
“That which fights the upside down!”

“Find that balance, apprentice.
Straddle the line between dark and light.“

“Rage—“

“—Against the dying light!”

“RAGE—“

“—AGAINST THE DYING LIGHT!”

“We win…or we die…there is no time for try.”

A girl was not a girl, Master told her.
He would not console her.
He would control her.

He would call by her name.
Pour more lemonade.
She was but an orphan.
Lost and so forgotten.
Following a failed abortion.

He knew her pain.
Knew her hate.
Her rage.
Name.

Leh’Min’Ayd.

A girl has no name.
A girl is no one.
A girl is dead.
A weapon.
Yes…

“What is a lightsaber for, Leh’Min?”
“Killing.”
“The light, youngling?”
“Destroying!”
“Who?”
“…Them.”
“Yes. So keep fighting. Keep trying. Keep dying.
This experiment is not over yet. You must persist.
You are young, yes, but youth is fruit…
And I am the tree that holds you.”
“Yes, Master… I am with you…only you.”

Lin…
Only…
…You.

“Who is our enemy, Leh’Min'Ayd?
What is their name?”

A girl feels her head spin.

“…Sith.”

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Spoiler: Music OOC

…The in between…that circle…so round…
…That which fights the upside down...

A girl lies on the floor.
Eyes linger—the door.
Master, gone, no more.
The girl? Cold…to core.
Frozen…fingers…four…
Numb, can’t feel, sore.

“A girl…”
-Sniff-
“A girl…”

A girl can’t speak.
A girl can’t think.
This is too tough.
Pain is…too much.

A doll cracks, crippled.
Limbs stinging, prickled.
Blood rushes, burning.
Head to toe, turning..!

“A girl…is gone…”

No one is lying limp…
Eyes closed, dreaming.
Cries are silent—wimp.
Just a stupid little kid…
Failed—have to admit.
Weak—can’t handle it.
Roll—raindrop over lip.
Hole in heart—ripped!
Toes curl, cannot trip!
Go girl—let ‘em drip!
Cannot walk or skip!
She can’t fly or slip!
Girl aboard a ship!
But…it is…sinking!

Lin.

A girl is thinking.
In the dark.
She’s dreaming!
Heart apart.

Lips curdle.
Stuck tongue.
Pain girdles.
Cannot run…

“...Lin…”

A girl will always remember him.
Whole soul—just no..forgetting…
Bones are hollow—she’s hurting!
Can’t help it or move...breaking!

“Lin…”

Maybe one friend hears the other.
Voice in the head—yes, just listen.
A girl wants to be heard, so unsure.
She’s hurting! But can’t hurt another.
This is a girl’s agony: Lem’s, not Lin’s.
Share my pain, some would say, hers.
No, Leh’Min’Ayd would state...or slur.
…I…just…let me...let me die...and burn.
Might never see him again, her friend.
If a girl never does, hope never comes.
But, what if, after all this, there is love?
For each other…for friends...and for us.
Hopeful, yet hopeless…that No One!

“...Lin.”

A girl whispers in the dark.
Misty eyes—ohh don’t cry.
Torment’s beats, torturing.
Glazed crystals—don’t lie.
Wind drifts near, ears arc!
Can’t see or hear, but try!

“LIN!”

Can she roar for him!?
Can he hear and listen!
A girl’s fingers do curl.
But no carpet to grip.
Hard steel—black pearl!

When had they met?
More than once, yet.
Partner…best friend.
Shared tears…threads.
Such fears...shed sweat.
Adventures of Lin 'n' Lem.

“Lin…I…I don’t know…if…you…can hear m-me…”
A girl mumbles, dry gums, wags a tongue dearly.
“But if you can lemme speak 'least one last time."
She does not want to go, has to though—to die.

“You are more important to me…than how I feel for you.
Master says…I’m no one, not nothing but…something…
That I’m a weapon…that’s okay…I’ll fight for you…too…
If we never meet again, my good friend, I’ll be waiting.
Just make sure you keep going…don’t forget…moving.
I go to my fight, maybe last one, last dance and move.
Master says I’m designed for it, the fight, not for..love.
I’ll never leave you, Lin, no…but I have to give you up.”

A girl is ashamed.
Of all of her pain.
Dry—need rain!
Husk skin—flay!
Her bones break!

Came from cave.
…Leh’Min’Ayd…

A girl’s eyelids just hesitate!
Gelled wells—O she’s dazed!

An Ortolan stands in the middle of the room.
May not go anywhere, just whistling its tune.
It’s okay, she knows it’s there, won’t go soon.
It’s not about the Ortolan, thinks that circle.
The room, the square, is what must stand.
Ripples in a wind—mirth, myrrh and myrtle.
Breathless against the walls, cannot hurdle.
Wind can’t break that duracrete bastion dam.

A girl lies on the floor in the middle of a room.
Ribbon on fire—pretty plume—smoking fume.

The flame might die.
Want it to, she might.
A girl has even tried.
Yes…so many times.
Doesn’t burn bright.

Doesn’t need to feed or be fed.
Compared to the living fire?
To that light that is so alive?
The flame must be all but dead.

The girl’s eyes are as heavy as lead!
Twirl and whirl, dead wings spread!
“Lin…this is not the end, my friend.”
She lies still, hates to feel, and yet..
She sees the dark, sees broke bed.
“I’m smiling…I’ll see you…again…”
A girl knows what must come next.

There is no time to try.
Fight…fight…and die...
Fight unto my death..

Rage…
Rage against the dying light…

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Nemesis Games

Spoiler: Music OOC

Rage…
Rage against the dying light…

And a girl…opens her eyes…
They’re not so very bright…
Oh, poor girl, eyes so dry…
Girl was up crying all night.

A LITTLE GIRL.
NO! I AM A JEDI!
Little girl, move along!
I AM A JEDI PADAWAN.

And a girl gets up!
A girl doesn’t let up!
She doesn’t give up!
She won’t be undone!

Violent, yet so bright is the Jedi.
Look at how a girl swings now!
Purple lightsaber, watch it twirl!
Round a room, swings the girl.

At her enemies!
AT MY ENEMY.
A GIRL IS VIOLENT.
BLADE SO VIOLET.

“I WILL MAKE YOU BLEED!”
The walls are on their knees!
A girl twirls around the room and she swings!
Invisible, naked Sith, their bodies she cleaves!

She is…a lost girl…a little lemon in the middle of the room.
It has a bed, four walls, a floor and a ceiling, the toilet too.
This is the closet of the lemon, that chamber of Leh’Min.
Around her are her enemies…whispers in her memories.

It is a metal room that a girl called Lemon lives within!
A Leh’Min, she swoops in and squeezes both her fists!
Leh’Min’Ayd, she came to slay, to vanquish all the Sith!
What do we say to death, Leh’Min’Ayd? "NOT TODAY."

A girl, a young woman, Leh’Min’Ayd, sanity slipping away.
She spins along, dancing in the silver light, walls of steel.
Walls, unreal, cold metal on bare feet, poor pulsing brain.
They’re real, behind her eyes, Sith, darkness she can feel.

“I AM A JEDI!”
A GIRL CRIES.

She swings left to right!
He swings right to left!
His saber passes by!
Hers takes his head!

“A JEDI PADAWAN!’
She dances along!
Little Leh’Min in a rhythm!
Nimble arms are needles!

Violet violence in a lightsaber.
And a girl knows how to use it.
Dancing to some dubstep music.
A woman, her opponent, she burns.

Leh’Min’s lightsaber swerves and curves.
Across the face of a Sith, a dead opponent.
A Jedi girl will kill ‘em all and Master knows it!
So whom do you serve, Leh’’Min? "YOU, MASTER."

Memories…
They bleed…
In her dreams…
A girl can believe.

"COME KISS MY FIST. AMETHYST AND EMERALD."
A girl begins to make both lights twirl and whirl!
In the middle of a room, so round is that circle.
A girl fights in her sleep, her sword so purple.

And to the naked eye, she is a mouse in a maze.
A young lady, alone in a window, saber in the air.
Her enemies, imaginary things, she aims to slay.
In her mind, darkness, for the girl…she is…scared.

And she falls…but she lands…flat upon her back.
On her bed, Togruta tendrils and a little pillow head.
Restless, resting, a Jedi Padawan caught in a web.
Her master, a spider, but in hope is this Jedi so clad.

It’s a fleeting thing, a feeling, a dream in a stream.
Whether bright, whether dark, steeds are cantering.
Upon their backs, carry time and space, the universe.
World unfurl, curve word, tangle particle, weave string.

Girl lays on her bed, struggling to sleep, maybe a dream.
A voice in her head, it isn’t Kayden, it’s hers in a corridor.
On a floor, it curves and curls, twirls across facility floor.
Is she asleep? Is it a dream? The very Force is her feet.

She's waking, she's sleeping, she's slaying, she's dreaming.
A living and breathing nightmare; she fights but is scared.
Carried away, an ember from a fire, burning brighter, higher.
Into space, tendrils of a flame, hears a name, floating beside her.

…Lin…
…It’s Lemon…
…You’re…here…
…I’m…near…
…Lin…

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Spoiler: Music OOC

In a cave…so far away…
Look for…the Leh’Min’Ayd…
Lin…Queonkri…come save me…
D-Don’t…please…don’t…hate me…

In her head, there crumbles a girl’s reality, cracking, crashing, like a glass sculpture.
One moment she’s a warrior, swinging her lightsaber against her enemies in a blur.
The next, she’s asleep, but not really, trapped in a waking dream, struggling to see.
The cave is stuffy, it’s hard to breathe, her arms are so weak, so stiff are her knees.

Papa…Mama…Nana…where are you…
The first was never her friend, the second she never met, the third was dead.
F-Father…you’re not real…I’m an orphan…
‘Papa’ was her new father since she was a kid, but to him she’s just an instrument.

So alone in the world, this little girl, whose childhood was the wild wood of city streets.
Whose family was the gutter rats of children just like her, surviving as best they could.
There she lays, there she stands, remembering the face of old Nan, who took them in.
Remembers flames, a burning building, her Nan turned black by Trandoshan pirates.

They turned a vibrant girl violent, can’t deny it, skin is violet but burned red that cold night.
The kids found the pirates, found their den, and a little Leh’Min decided to burn them alive.
On her bed, she sees them there and then, in the middle of a room, somehow standing too.
Faces of the dead, those she loved and tried her best not to hate, but Papa wanted her to.

N-No…I…don’t…want…it…
A GIRL IS JUST AN INFANT.
I’m…I’m…a Jedi…not…a Sith…
YOU ARE NO ONE. A WEAPON.

A girl is No One, poetic, pathetic, name’s Leh’Min’Ayd, after lemonade, and is otherwise nameless.
Papa told her so, made it known, kept her alone, then let her go in the galaxy and go experience.
She thanked him, clapped at him, tried to hug him, was brushed off again, his little experiment.
Leh’Min’Ayd…this is not a game…find your way…emotion…the dying light…rage…rage in a fist…

Rage…
Is for Sith.
Rage…
In my fist!

Stars blink behind her eyes, flash by like dying lights, twinkle twilight, sprinkle bright night, so far.
Time is in a glass, broken, sand slipping between space like those between her fingers, so apart.
She spreads her arms, like wings, and she’s flying, like an eagle, beautiful, a little purple peacock.
Glowing in the dark, like that amethyst hue of her lightsaber’s blade, humming, but her voice is lost.

Leh’Min’Ayd…is that even...my name?
In a mirror, blurry, hard to see her face.
Cracked glass, and her vision is in a haze.
Crackles and sparks, she ignites the blade.
It’s a lamp to light up the darkness of her cave.
Useless, more a torch across the floor, like flame.
Beating back shadows, while the light begins to fade.
Heartbeat, the meadow grows walls, becomes the maze.
Heart like an echo, broken, choking, like lightning in a brain.
Words blow like a wind, thoughts in an ocean, won’t go away.
A dream, but it’s a nightmare, and so scared is the Leh’Min’Ayd.

No…no…I am…no…one…No…One…
She’s just a faceless Jedi with no soul.
Not like her predecessors, like Obi-Wan.
Ahsoka, Kori, Oren, Jedi both new and old.

She is not like them, though she sees their faces in her head, also their names.
She’s like the fallen, Dooku, Anakin, not those who didn’t give in, Mace or Rey.
Faces of yesterday appear before her own, in the light, in the dark, in the grey.
Flashing in her dream like glittering memories, stops at one, alone in the frey.

A Jedi he was, if a grey Jedi by some, no rogue, but independent, a maverick.
In her studies, Leh’Min learned of him, honed in and focused on Qui-Gon Jinn.
An ancient face, weathered with wisdom, a voice in her head, his lips are open.
Be mindful of the future, Leh’Min, but not at the expense of the present moment.

The future, a girl knows, is to serve her master, to follow him wherever he goes.
Her past is at her back, tormenting her, fighting though she does to keep it away.
A girl is no one, becoming something from nothing to become a weapon, a ghost.
Her past, future, neither within her grasp, but here and now, who is Leh’Min’Ayd?

A girl doesn’t have to give in…
She feels her friend, close to him.
This girl can make her own decisions!
Future isn’t fate. She owns the present.

…Lin…
…Don’t…
…Let go…
…Leh’Min…

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

Spoiler: Music OOC

…Lemon…
...Lin?...
…Leh’Min…
...Jinn?...
…Leh’Min’Ayd…
...My...name...
…Time to wake…
...Leh'Min'Ayd...
…Time to learn…
...Yes...my master...

And a girl opens her eyes. She lies in the middle of the room, on a bed, on that very same bed.
That bed, those sheets, so white, so pristine, the same white every day, and the same pillow.
Her eyes are open, to the ceiling, that same ceiling, that dull grey metal, so far yet so close.
The light, light turns on, turns off, every day, every night, there where she rests her head.

Every day, every night, the same, again and again and again, in that circle that's so, so round.
That room, that cave, not built for lemons but built for Leh’Min’Ayd, with walls all around.
A wall, a door, iron curvature, steel prison, keeps her in, a cage, no matter her sound.
A wall, a window, for it opens like the shield of a bacta tank, where a girl drowned.

He can open it on a whim, he can close it, that window, that door and that wall.
Whatever is fit for him, for he is the watcher of this lair and he is the master.
If master says jump, she jumps; sit, she sits; whether lay down or stand tall.
If he tells apprentice to form fist, swing blade, he may be coming at her.

Practice makes perfect, a girl discovered and she learned, she behaved.
Night after day, that girl survived, was kept alive, was shown the way.
Given purpose, given name, a father figure, taught Force and blade.
Give a weapon, weapon given, freedom, prison, little Leh’Min’Ayd.

Light takes shape, might break clay, brittle, in waning darkness.
Rage, rage against the dying light, by warrior, who arcs a fist.
Silence within a sea, cannot contemplate how far the star is.
Ceiling, a memory, awake if sleeping, feeling her sharpness.

She’s thinking, thoughts take no meaning, have no weight.
Emotions, burn in Sith, but for Jedi they have their place.
Elbows bent, rest head on arms, a girl simply wonders.
Wanders, lost in thought, no, a girl then remembers.

Today, aged seventeen, maybe, or sixteen, or fifteen.
Time goes backwards, forwards, but it isn't moving.
Yesterday, thirteen, fourteen, waking one morning.
He let her out, for a mission, to the stars between.

In a room, past, present, future, her eyes are open.
On her bed, if floating through a timeless ocean.
She recalls those moments within that starship.
A slaver, and a weapon, one sent to scar him.

Weapon... She hears the purr of her lightsaber.
Leh'Min... A mission to end a threat so earned.
She did her best, was given a chance to serve.
In the field, to prove her worth to her master.

…Leh’Min’Ayd…
…Yes, Master?...
…Remember that day…
…That day…I remember…

 

[Leh'Min'Ayd]

This Title Is A Title

...But first…Master…just…one…question…
I'll permit it. Just one. What is it, Leh’Min?
I am…a weapon…but can a weapon…feel?
Yes. And no. It thinks it can. But it isn’t real.

Spoiler: Music OOC

A girl is young. But even a young girl can be violent. She isn’t so violent though. Never really was.
Can’t deny it. Doesn’t try to hide it. Was that confusing? Complicated? Maybe. Can’t comprehend.
How can a weapon have feelings to begin with? Emotions? Impossible, right? Didn’t make sense.
It has a head. Purple white tendrils. A neck. Purple-skinned Togruta. But no emotions. Blood. Dust.

Just dust. Just crumbs. A girl is a girl. She isn’t a woman yet. She’s young. She’s a she. Her.
She has an identity. She has a name. She likes lemonade. She was Leh’Min’Ayd. She likes it.
She is Leh’Min’Ayd. Was. Is. Same difference. Present tense. Past. Whatever. Does it matter?
Does any of this? What she thinks? Who she is? Her dreams? Likes? No. She’s No One. An It.

I am a weapon… A girl is reminded. I am an experiment… A girl remembers. Trying to be a girl.
Remembers darkness. It can fit in her fist. Fist grips it! A girl makes both lights twirl and whirl!
Remembers lights. Bright bulbs. Street lights. A street. A bridge. Dark grey skies. Clouds swirl.
Yellow lamps. Orange lights. Trapped in slits. Split with charcoal walls. Dark. A girl’s fists unfurl.

White lights. Black darkness. Amber and ebony. This building represents to her the peak of power.
It isn’t so familiar to a girl. She has never been here before. But Master has sent her so she came.
Master. Her master. What was his name? She does not remember. Maybe he never had a name.
Doesn’t matter anyway. She is his servant. It is his weapon. Today. Tonight. All along the tower.

Although it isn’t a water tower, water falls like little tiny towers, in slivers, it showers. It’s raining.
She walks across the rooftop. Rain slides down her face. In rivulets. Twisting. Has no expression.
Lekku down her shoulders. Black leather outfit. Purple highlights. Hides what’s inside. A weapon.
It’s quiet. She’s silent. Rain pools but not in an ocean. Blades duel but not on a beach. No playing.

A girl is on a world. A planet. But it isn’t Sonos. It isn’t Gonda. It is not a jail. There’s no prom here.
No dancing. No singing. She’s walking. She’s thinking. Even it. I think...therefore I am... Feel. Fear.
Beneath the droplets, atop the dark hood, off its rim, upon the tentacles, no museum, no wormhole.
Black cloak conceals what hides beneath. Purple eyes hide what lies behind her. This cursed soul.

She watches… She listens… She kneels beneath the skies and she steals a look upon the heavens.
Can you see me? Can you hear me? Yet there are no stars in the dark. Only a fog. Nobody listens.
I see you. I hear you. Even if he didn’t. Even if he wasn’t. It doesn’t matter. Whatever happens.
She lifts her fist. Object in it. -snap-hiss!- Purple light. Violet bright. No weapon for children.

She cuts an opening upon the rooftop. A black hole.
A pit of darkness opens. It is a circle. A circle so round.
One last glance at the sky. She closes her eyes. Rain rolls.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Sigh. Goodbye. Leaps in. No sound.

A weapon can kill. A weapon has skill.
A weapon can be a nemesis in a game.
She falls. Shadow in the night. No blade.
Falling Leh'Min'Ayd. Not running up a hill.