Discussion in 'Character Profile Archives' started by Asmodeus-bBB12bBb31, Apr 18, 2016.

  1. Asmodeus-bBB12bBb31

    Asmodeus-bBB12bBb31 Dictator of the Bourgeoisie

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    Of the Chiss Ascendancy

    Faction: The Accord
    Rank: Fighter Pilot
    Height: 1.82 Meters
    Weight: 70-73 Kilos
    Age: 30 Standard Years
    Nickname: Zawarr
    Species: Chiss
    Gender: Male

    Zawarr has slightly hooded eyes, of the Carmine shade of red, with his hair being Onyx, strictly groomed to that of the Classic Taper Haircut. His nose is of a slight Grecian variety. Now, on the topic of skin, complexion or otherwise, Zawarr is of a lighter shade of Blue, with the texture being on the line between soft, and rough. Finally Zawarr has three red strikes tattooed above the base of his spine.

    "All is well. Planned, or not, two minds work well together, and well. One, and..."

    Psychology at it's worst;

    Often coming off as a soldier, despite being dressed naught of the sort, Zawarr happens to be man of formality, strict composure, and stature if you will. In a form, he realizes he is a representative of the Chiss, and acts knowing so, keeping an eye on even the smallest of details, going to great lengths to assure awareness in all situations, all the while, keeping the comportment expected of a lord, or even an Aristocra. In light of such things, he is no hero, nor friend until ceaselessly noted. He listens, and in turn collects knowledge, and in turn of that, is willing to weaponize it. Though, in his eyes, this is fair, it is espionage, a perfect form of respectful warfare. It is an unsaid constant that he is collecting information on anyone and everyone. Suffice it to say, he’s popular at the Pilots Corner on most stations.

    Calculated, passionate, and confident are several words you could and should use to describe Zawarr when he is speaking. Often verbalizing with a firm undertone of volition, and passive aggression, it could easily be said he speaks down to everyone, making a point of using near perfect grammar, and from time to time, even the dialect of the species he is speaking with. Assuredly, any irritation he achieves from another would be intentional, as his words may often be seen as antagonistic, or even may transcend above passive aggression, to aggression itself. As seen below, his placement of choice words might be used to draw aggression out of others, but could be misconstrued to be seen as simple banter. It is intended wordplay such as this, that Zawarr will often weaponize against his foes, in turn drawing from their weaknesses, be it lack of confidence, lack of control, or even lack of processing capability. With a skillful tongue, and prior preparation, Zawarr makes it his foremost appointment to maneuver the field of conversation with the highest of ordnance.

    "But, seeing as we're both intelligent beings. Let us converse. I am not unreasonable, what do you offer in place of your repugnant life."

    You call these Attributes?

    Zawarr is a rather supremacist being, primarily displaying this trait in full during disputes of intellect. Despite at heart always believing he is correct, he also has strong convictions against fallacies, thus only when proven indubitably wrong, will he stand down, and concede to defeat. In turn, he will resort to displaying said supremacist behavior in alternate forms, such as impenetrable bouts of silence, ceaseless passive aggression, and incomprehensible ignorance. Dependent on the situation, it doesn’t help much that he is also stoically stubborn, only stacking atop his supremacist values. Though overall seemingly negative, these traits might also be seen as positive, again dependent on the situation, being the greatest out of everyone, in his eyes, it is his duty to endure in the place of others, to sacrifice so others need not. The biggest issue of all is that he wouldn’t know how far is too far, and when to surrender before it is too late.

    On the obverse side, Zawarr prides himself of being quite informed, intellectual if you will. Never being the first to bring up a subject he is unfamiliar with, he often understands what he is talking about, whether it be combat techniques, historical events, or even foreign politics. Due to being as informed as he prides himself, he has developed several traits, those aforementioned will be excluded. As with most knowledge, it had to have been gained somehow, and the means he had used was reading, primarily, and exclusively. Due to this, and the several hours, if not days, and weeks he had spent in libraries, studies, and on the holonet, he has developed a keen sense of attention, often listening when it seems he is not, and calculating when it seems he is staring off to the heavens. But with all things, there is always an obverse effect. Zawarr tends to overthink, and over process many things, make them far worse than they are. A wound on your arm? Might as well replace the entire limb. This trait fits disturbingly well with his supremacist mentality, and often for the worse.

    "Two, there. See? Two minds, unlimited possibilities. We're fine. Let's get on with solving this issue, shall we?"

    Story Time!

    In the beginning, there was a clan of ten, a family of four, and a commander in the Chiss Expansionary Defense Force. This commander was the head of the Rige clan, quite small, quite under appreciated, and quite ordinary. His name was Vlezz’orsa’rige, Commander Zorsar to most. Not only being the head of the clan, he was also the sire of a certain Vlezz’awar’rige. Siring a total of three in his lifetime, Zorsar raised his children with the ideals of true Chiss, often referring to the Expansionary Defense Force as the first and foremost profession, and duty of any admirable Chiss, partially due to his personal involvement, but primarily due to his own beliefs. By the point Zawarr began to form a solid impression of Zorsar, he had undergone environmental training in the glacial wastes of Csilla, to which he described in a personal writ as, "Indisputably the worst months of my life, up to this very moment. Were I given a choice, I would give an arm before returning to the wastes.” Following this training, despite his son's protests, both passive, and aggressive mind you, Zorsar would move his son on to serve in the Expansionary Defense Force (CEDF).

    At this point, approximately 14 years into Zawarr’s life, he had been inducted into the Military Academy of [REDACTED], to be trained in the ways of space flight, and combat. It was during this period that he truly began to understand the importance of listening, and collecting data, as he was one of the few in the Academy hailing from an unnoteworthy clan. Within this time, he had developed a small, and secluded intelligence force of primarily others of unnoteworthy names. With this group, the collection of information on others was paramount, often being used to blackmail those of higher political standing in order to level the playing field. By his second year, Zawarr had accelerated the process of graduation for himself, and three others within his small group through manipulating and blackmailing the headmaster of the Academy, who had paid for eight of his ‘honorable’ war medals. Were word of this to get out, the Headmaster would be shunned. Upon his graduation, Zawarr would have reunited with his sire, Zorsar, not only thanking him for forcing him through, but for showing him the paths now before him. This would be the last time the two would meet in person before Zorsar’s death.

    Upon graduation, and the prior meeting with his Sire, Zawarr would cut himself from the bindings that were the CEDF, and would dedicate the next six years of his life to the pursuit of knowledge, and linguistic ability. From library, to library, and study to study, Zawarr would indulge himself in complete silence, and vows of isolation, obsessed with the thirst for knowledge. This pursuit, sparked by the survival instincts he abused in the Military Academy, would be his drive, both literally, and emotionally. Upon his graduation, his friends he had helped had moved on to the CEDF, leaving him with his decisions. Realizing he was now devoid of those he enjoyed being around, he came to the revelation that he was the only company needed, he and a historical, or scientific tome. As he was ushered into his 20th year of life, he would be the man he is known as now, completely overwhelmed by his personality in his pursuit of knowledge. If there was anything he knew best, it was himself.

    With the next five years ahead of him having no proper planning, Zawarr turned to the only consulting he thought he had. Turning to his sire, as an adult, and as heir apparent to the clan, he manipulated Zorsar into procuring a Moondrake Engineering Sunskimmer-Class Starbird from the CEDF, to which he then used to advance his piloting skill. As he left Chiss Space, leaving his prior life behind, his prior friendships, family, and convictions, he made a decision, he will use his abilities to further his standing in the galaxy, if not for his clan, then for the sake of profit.

    Close-Quarters Combat
    Force Sensitivity
    Wordsmanship (Speaking Ability)
    Linguistics (Languages)
    Medical Knowledge
    Writing Ability

    A Merr-Sonn R-8R Battle Rifle
    A Vibroblade
    A Saddle Bag
    Contents of Bag;
    A Tabacc Pipe and matches
    A tin of Havao Tabacc
    Two Journals, and Four Pens


    The Status Quo

    People he doesn't wish to harm:
    More will be added as time progresses.

    His Pride;

    Moondrake Engineering Sunskimmer-class Starbird

    Kill Count:
    Last edited: May 4, 2017
    Outlander likes this.
  2. Boli

    Boli I swear I had something for this.

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    This looks pretty solid. I like that you've gone through the tech boards an picked out some stuff that suits you and is suitable - it's nice in general to see people using tech rather than just inundating the boards with slightly tweaked variants or making stuff for their sole use, so kudos on that.

    The only thing I'll really point out is these two things:

    You say in your psychology section, "One might take a first glance at Zawarr, and think to themselves, “What a cheaply dressed soldier.” " - I'm not sure if this is intentional or not, since the rest of the paragraph seems to indicate otherwise. Maybe some clarity is required to get across what you're trying to say here?

    And secondly, in a more general point, there are points where you use almost too much detail. It seems odd that, for example, his weight is so specific, or that the colours you've described match with specific colour codes. Little stuff like that might help you envision your character better, but it does somewhat mess with the flow of the write-up. I'm not saying you should get rid of them, just...maybe consider if they're needed or if there's other ways you can present the information that makes it flow better as a written piece.

    The only other thing I'd suggest is maybe looking around at the formatting and coding of other threads - it's not necessary by any means, and BBCode can be daunting to say the least, so it's not something we emphasize or stress the importance of or anything like that, but it's a tool you can potentially utilize to give your profile a more polished feel. Might be something to look into, but if not, then the content speaks for itself, so good work all up.
    Vosrik and Asmodeus-bBB12bBb31 like this.