Approved  Sith Empire Sarla Malvern

Discussion in 'Character Profiles' started by Sabrina, Apr 8, 2019.

  1. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    Sarla Malvern



    AGE

    ► 20
    SPECIES
    ► Human
    HEIGHT
    ► 5'6"
    WEIGHT
    ► 120lb
    EYE COLOR
    ► Blue
    HAIR COLOR
    ► Black
    HOMEWORLD
    ► Serenno
    GENDER
    ► Female
    FACTION
    ► Sith Empire
    RANK
    ► Acolyte
    FORCE SENSITIVITY
    ► Yes
    BIOGRAPHY
    She is a member of house Malvern, it is currently a minor house under the banner of house Demici. Though house was also wealthy in its own right, and could afford to push some of its political interests. As a result of her birth, she was assigned as a handmaiden in house Demici court. This gave her glimpse of politics, and a classical education. She also studied the art of combat with the echani, and how a blaster work, though she thinks they unsuitable for a lady. She also was allowed to practice the force, after she had spent her time as handmaiden came to an end. She didn't get comfort on korriban, nor any of the privileges of being of her noble birth. Though her trainer was an Echani male, called Yusanis he taught her how to use a double ended lightsaber, and got her to practice echani martial arts. As well as other force powers. After her training had finished, and when she was being prepared to represent the house Malvern, on few a mission for the empire. She hired two body guards to help protect her, as the world was not a nice play.

    After the Empire left Serenno, house malvern decided to stay secretly loyal. As ultimately they figured being allied, to such powerful force in galaxy, would suit their needs more. They hoped to work towards the day, they are can help the empire retake Serenno again. Thus this should improve the prospects of the house, more than cutting the empire adrift. As such she was order to stay within the empire, so the house would not be exiled.
    Personality
    She likes to be well presented, and dressed accordingly to the environment. She also wants to be involved in, promoting her family political interests. This means, she is willing to do what is necessary, as house become before the sith empire. Though at the moment, the house interest is aligned to Empire. Though this not out loyalty to empire, but the needs of house. Her overseer on korriban was an echani, due to this combat instructor she learnt to fight the Echani way. She also grew to love things from Echani culture, especially their wine. This was possibly to practicing combat, with a rather nice looking Echani sith, in there underwear. This helped make her a capable warrior, though she does not like to brag about it, as it is unbecoming of lady to brag.

    Though while she is officially sith, she only pays lip service, to sith code. She accepts as a philosophy, but she not bound to it. Though she does find the Jedi code laughable, to say the least. Though she is interested in the powers that dark side has to offer.
    Appearance
    She is has pale skin, black hair, and blue eyes. Her hair is long, but is always styled as required. As it helps to present herself, in correct light for circumstances. She has slim build, and is just shy of five foot six, and weighs hundred and thirty pounds. She has flawless skin, and obviously tries to make herself as pretty as she can, for each occasion. She wears black, and white fur trims, which is common dress code of house Malvern. Though if the situation requires differently, she does wear appropriate dress.

    Attributes
    She has practiced, traditional Echani Martial arts, and in the traditional way. This helps her fitness levels, and keeps her trim. Though she no muscle bound woman, and she tries to make sure she does not become one. She likes her egg timer shape, and to look good while fighting.
    Force Powers/Skills
    Force pull/push
    Protection Bubble
    Force choke
    Force lightning
    Force Speed/Jump

    Dodging
    Fire Dancing
    Echani Martial arts
    Politics of noble courts
    Gear

    Sith Armour
    Double Ended red bladed Lightsaber
    6 thermal detonators gain here checked number with @Nefieslab
    1 Quick Draw Blaster gained here

    XS-109 that she had called the Pipistrelle 55




    Followers

    She has two personal bodyguards, equipped with
    Enforcer Armour and Javelin Repeater
    Also a Pliot With same equipment

    40 sith troops

    [​IMG]



      • Title ― Description ― • Thread Status
      • Title ― Description ― • Thread Status
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2019 at 9:06 AM
  2. Nor'baal

    Nor'baal That guy who RPed Hutts all the time.

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    Hi Sabrina, and welcome back.

    Just so you know, you cannot copy and paste an old character, and just change its name. Perhaps this is a WIP and you are going off an old template, but the attributes and personality as well as the appearance section of this profile is identical to your old character.

    As it stands, the character moderators will probably archive this character - so I would recommend fixing this up for them before they do :-)
     
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  3. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    @Nor'baal how come, I would struggle to play another character as a main, as no matter what I do it would end up being the same in rp.

    I also put effort into figuring out the background for house malvern
    though no canon crest.

    Though I am editing, best I can.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2019
  4. KinkyPrawn

    KinkyPrawn Snappy Boi

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    Having a vain and arrogant character is fine. You can chuck a rock at a bush and hit a dozen sith that are like that. The problem is how you described the personality, attributes and bio. The entire page is literally a carbon copy of the old character. I can copy paragraphs over that are identical to this one.
    Doing homework on a House for a backstory is very good and it makes sure that your character's backstory makes sense. But again, its a girl from a minor noble House that's obsessed with land. Same as the old one.

    The overall of the character is a carbon copy, that's what the problem is

    Of course I might not be correct in any way, but that's up to the mods to decide. We just wanna help out before you get another archived character or in the worst case a warning.

    My apologies if I come off a little blunt/rude, I just don't know how to put this in better words in English XD
     
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  5. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    @KinkyPrawn don't worry I can only deal with blunt at moment, as I am not sleeping well.
     
  6. Nor'baal

    Nor'baal That guy who RPed Hutts all the time.

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    I don't think that's an entirely good way of looking at it. There have been thousands of unique characters made on this forum, so I think you'll be able to make one different from your last just fine :-)
     
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  7. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    I have played her for 8 years, honestly I am not that good. I always get her to evolve as story goes, but that about all I can do.

    Though I am editing the best I can.
     
  8. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    @Nor'baal I have edited it, it is not a carbon copy.
    As using sources from house malvern
    Using Echani a baseline for skills, rather than sith.
    Also not a dedicated sith, more dedicated to her household.
    As the empire is last on her of priorities, and if GA took over the world, then she would switch allegiances.
    So got rid her loyalty, and not as inhibited as Sabrina.
    As sabrina would always be loyal, and would never duel in her underwear.
    Also essentially, she is not truly sith the religion is means to an end.
    Sabrina was always a fantic, and truly believed in code.
    Sarla is more a dark jedi, sith code is just for lip service.
    Edit: also as Serenno is independent now, so is she.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2019
  9. KinkyPrawn

    KinkyPrawn Snappy Boi

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    from a writer's perspective the edits are not very clearly portrayed in the write-up. Also its very barebones and personality doesn't say anything about her as a person, only her loyalty to Serenno.

    Indies also can't start with lightsabers so if you wanna go indie you will have to get that double bladed lightsabre some other way.

    From a personal point, 8 years of experience with a character doesn't justify a lack of imagination with a new character. I've played a good guy heavy armour Argonian in Skyrim since 2013 and I still manage to make a plethora of other characters.

    Though there is definitely some bleed-through from that playstyle in all my characters, how they operate, act, treat others and go about their business is drastically different. My advice: go watch clone wars or rebels. There are interesting characters in both of those series so you can draw a lot of inspiration from a bunch of them to make a very interesting and deep character.
     
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  10. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    @KinkyPrawn she would trained in korriban, which is in the bio. She only indi now, as Serenno is, hence she is not sabrina kotass. So I will leave that to judge, to decide. As for barebones, I done my best. So I will edit what the judge decides, as right now I am really tired.
     
  11. Faster Than Light

    Faster Than Light Gentleman New Members Mod New Members Moderator

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    Just to be clear, you aren't forbidden from making a Sith character. However Norbs is right this new character can't be identical to your old one. I know your character died and I know it sucks, but still. Kirky has some pretty good advice as well. I like my characters from last timeline, but I try to mix it up and tried different things. Even if they are somewhat similar to my old characters they are still different and not the same characters even if similarities may exist.

    Anyways, I see that you say that you are taking some steps to differentiate this character from your current one. I'll offer some player feedback, this isn't an official review however but these are things that may get called out. Anyways, Kinky is right that indy characters aren't allowed to start off with lightsabers, regardless of the character's backstory. It's in the character creation guide. One will have to be acquired via roleplay.

    It looks like the last 1/3 of her personality could be incorporated into the biography. The biography abruptly ends on her representing her house in a few missions, for the Sith I guess?

    Also, Countess is a pretty high nobility rank for a level 1 starting rank, even if it's a minor noble house. I had a Alderaanian noble last timeline that was a Senator (also of the then-reigning House of Antillies), and I didn't really give him a rank. I just said he was a noble, that might work for you.

    Also, just be aware that leaving the Sith isn't something that you can just 'simply' do. Well, you probably can do that but I'm pretty sure that the Sith wouldn't like people leaving their order. It probably won't be enough for a bounty, but the Sith would have issues with it.

    And with this post I'll leave it up to the reviewers during review time.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2019
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  12. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    @Faster Than Light don't take this as argument, I am just got lot going on.
    I was not sure on lightsaber to be honest, as I was going to make her Dark Jedi.
    At the point making the Bio, Serenno was an Empire world.
    Though loyalty was not her thing, she would left as soon as the empire did.
    Seeing I am making her different, I has to do that.
    Hence being indie now, so I am iffy about it, I can justify it icly.
    Though I happily remove it, if the judge says so.

    I used Countess, as all nobles on Serenno use that title or count, as far as I can tell.
    As no other ones being used, as far as I can tell canon wise.
    Also this would be something, you are born with.
    Though if you know of any, please tell me, and I will happily edit.

    As for bio agreed, but tired and writing is not as good when tired.
    I figured last night, it would take me awhile to get the bio through.
    I should atleast make a start, then get directions from judge.

    Also this not Sabrina Kotass, as for the reason I listed earlier.
    Similarities, I think end with nobility and serenno.
    Though Nobility bit, does come with a few traits, that follow over.
    Edit:
    Though think about it, the house could find advantageous to be loyal to sith, editing.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2019
  13. Wit

    Wit Character Mod/Beyond Measure Character Moderator

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    • Being minor nobility doesn't really make her that special, so I don't see why she would have bodyguards assigned to her or for that matter be given any preferential treatment on Korriban. There are Drasts who have been treated like utter crap in the academy to get the best out of them, the Sith aren't much for coddling people. So in the academy there would be no special treatment, specially for some nobody from a small house on Serenno.
    • With regards to be bodyguards, she could have hired the bodyguards on her own if she wants, I just don't see why the Sith assign them to her. Again to be clear, I'm not saying you can't have the bodyguards, just that you could do with a better justification for having them.
    • On top of which, if this House Malvern is gonna stay loyal to the Empire then they'd have to basically leave Serenno and give up all their power and wealth there. And if the planet itself aligns itself against the Empire then they could also be branded as traitors. It might be much easier to just have her stay with the Empire and let the House stay where it is.
    • As for the house itself, fair warning that having holdings all over the Galaxy won't make the Demici as great as you might think, if they really are that rich a house and if in the future you want your house to take over then you will probably need a lore article because that seems like a blanket description that could place the house on a wide spectrum with regards to wealth and prestige.
    • And the standard warnings I give almost everyone, Force Lightning as a level one will be little more than sparks and don't expect Force bubble to be a defense against everything.
    • Your info section at the top still lists her as independent, please fix that.
     
  14. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    @Wit edited
    Though kept the lands in, as this was deliberate. I drew the idea from peel holdings in the UK.
    As in the future after clone wars, canon wise they are the richest house on Serenno.
    So by investing in cheap land that might be worth something in thousand years. This might be why, they become powerful house on Serenno then.
     
  15. Wit

    Wit Character Mod/Beyond Measure Character Moderator

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    I think it's much better to just remove that bit. I don't wanna canonize anything about the house as I spotted folks writing up characters for it. So you can say your house worked under House Demici but leave it at that. So just remove that bit about the land, saying that it's a rich house is enough and what really matters for your character.
     
  16. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    @Wit edited, Though house was also in its own right wealthy, and could afford to push some of its political interests.
    Who else is making a Malvern, just out of curiosity.
    Can you make sure, they use same coat of arms, or using another atleast ask me. As I like us all to use the same.
    Also let them know that it tradition for us to wear black, with white fur trimmings for our cloaks.
    [​IMG]
    https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/House_Malvern
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2019
  17. Ecclessey

    Ecclessey Active Member

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    I believe he meant characters aligned to House Demici, not specifically the minor house of Malvern. @Sabrina
     
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  18. Nor'baal

    Nor'baal That guy who RPed Hutts all the time.

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    If you want specific traditions, I'd recommend making a lore write up for the house - so other players have something by way of reference.

    As for who else is making a Malvern, I'd recommend running a search for the name and seeing what comes up.
     
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  19. Sabrina

    Sabrina Member

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    @Nor'baal I will when I have time, but figured the clothing bit they would already do, as it is in the main sub for the house.
     
  20. Wit

    Wit Character Mod/Beyond Measure Character Moderator

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    Nor'baal is right, if you want people to follow your lore then create a lore article. Otherwise people are free to interpret things as they like.
     
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