Ask Jonny English

Discussion in 'Expansion Region and Mid Rim' started by Jon Atreides, May 16, 2018.

  1. Jon Atreides

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    Collapsed in one of the chairs that had been set up for the celebration, Jon let out a low moan of contentment as he massaged his stomach. That had been some of the best food he had had in some time now, so of course he had stuffed himself to the extent that he found himself in a food induced coma.

    He was lost in his dreams, playing out another one of his childhood fantasies as the cool gunslinger facing off against impossible odds and saving the damsel in distress, when he overexerted himself in his sleep and almost toppled out of the chair. That woke him up, only for him to realize that the party seemed to be done, most of the invitees seem to have left. Only a few stragglers like him remained.

    Thankfully one of them was Master Doldan, the man he had been looking for when this all began, in a way the man responsible for Jon getting a chance to eat all the delicious food. He'd have to thank him for that at some point. But first, there was Jedi business to be dealt with.

    Pushing himself to his feet, stretching to push away any lingering remnants of sleepiness, he made his way towards the Jedi Master, waiting till he was done with the conversation he was currently in and approaching him once he was on his own.

    "Master Doldan, I hope this is a good time to pick your brain for a bit?"

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  2. Darth Evandrus

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    Cregan was glad that Imani and the rest had moved on - he was beginning to realise that he wasn't the best kind of person to have in such small spaces when it came to parties. He had a tendency to seek out the way to be the centre of attention, even when the party was for someone else - not a good trait to have but one that he recognised enough to try and curb.

    He lingered at the edge of the party, letting the others leave him alone with Jon's dozing form and waving at the others as they left before he took another drink from his glass and went to leave. Naturally someone he had never met before took the chance to try and speak to him and that was fine... but it was a short conversation about where they were staying in the Temple - to which he had simply directed her to Wyck's personal chambers.

    Let the little guy have some fun then eh?

    He paused in his leaving when he noticed that Jon was awake and speaking to him. He grinned a little bit,

    "Only if you call me Cregan." he countered with a wink, "Master Doldan makes me feel like the council are annoyed at me again."

    He took up another drink from the table before shrugging,

    "But shoot Jon - what's up?"



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  3. Jon Atreides

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    "Uhh.." That was all the response Jon could give to Cregan's request to address him by his first name. First at the party, now with this, this definitely wasn't what Jon had expected from the Jedi Master. But maybe that was a good thing, he wasn't really sure if he could deal with another serious figure right now.

    "Well, I had need of a little something. And a little birdie told me that me that you might be my best bet." He was being quiet literal when he said a little birdie had sent him to Cregan. The Mriss Jedi who had advised Jon had been small enough to fit inside a helmet, Jon had been scared of accidentally sitting on her and crushing her throughout their conversation. "You see, I haven't really been outside of the temples since Ilum. And now I find myself in a situation where I could do with an alternate identity to travel under."

    He picked up a drink as well, popping off the bottle cap on the edge of the table before turning back to Cregan. "I need a fake identify, and the documentation to go with it. I guess people I know to be knowledgeable about such things sent me to you because you had the right contacts." He grinned at that, taking a sip from his drink before continuing. "So, do you think you can help me out?"

    He had spent enough time on Coruscant during and after the Senate hearings to realize just how bad the Order's reputation was in parts of the Galaxy. But at the same time he couldn't keep himself away from places where he was needed simply because he was scared of prosecution. An alias was the best solution for his problems, and who better to ask than a Shadow?

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    Ah Cregan never got tired of making some of the younger Jedi call him by his first name. Even those who weren't younger but were Knights compared to his own position as Master, he enjoyed messing with them to such an extent that he was damn sure that Wyck or Evalyn probably knew about it and probably disapproved with their usual enthusiasm.

    A little birdy? Was that an expression people used? He'd never heard of it before but he kind of liked how it hit the ear so maybe it would be something he used in the future. Listening attentively, Cregan chuckled a little bit,

    "You need a new ID huh?" he chuckled a little bit, "Well I think I can help you out with that - I know some people who do that sort of thing a lot of the time and they don't care if you're cartel, exile or jedi. They just care that your credits spend like everyone eles. So!"

    He patted Jon on the shoulder with a grin,

    "Yeah I can help you out man."He hummed a little bit, "You got any ideas as to what kind of name you would like to go with?It helps if you brainstorm this kriff before you arrive and there's a contact here on Jedha that I use so it won't be long before we get there. I'll call us a speeder."

    Uber was a hell of a thing.

    He listened as he called up the service and requested a speeder and driver be sent to their location. Hopefully Jon would have some good ideas for names because some of the Shadows and other Jedi he had worked with in the past had thought up some really rather stupid names for themselves.

    He often didn't correct them if they were just funny rather than being dangerous.



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  5. Jon Atreides

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    Jon grinned as Cregan said that he could indeed help him out. The last few instances of people within the Order giving him advice had lead to dead ends, with the very last one ending with him gate crashing a party. This party to be precise. But in hindsight that had turned out rather well.

    "That's great!" He almost laughed before the rest of what Cregan said registered. "Credits? Just how much we talking here?" How had he not considered that? Of course he would have to pay for it, criminals didn't really do bro-bono work, did they? But he did have some saved up, maybe it would be enough.

    A name? He hadn't considered that either. Given some of the names he too had seen other Jedi use, he had thought you didn't get much say in the name on the fake ID. That would explain why people had stupid names. If it was by choice then he had been unfair to those folks, and needed to go back and laugh some more at them. But that also meant he had to make sure he didn't pick one that would give them the opportunity to laugh at him.

    "I get to pick any name? No rules, no restrictions?" Now this was gonna be a tough decision. Throughout the speeder ride he would bounce names off of Cregan, not really liking any of them, till he would fall silent for the last minute or so of the journey as an old memory from his childhood would come back to him. A story, of a dashing smuggler who saved the Galaxy and married a princess.

    As their speeder ride ended, Jon was sure that he had finally figured out a name he liked, a name that somehow rang true to who he was. A name that reminded him of his smuggler father. "I have a name." Getting out of the speeder, he grinned at Cregan as he turned to face him. "I am Han Yolo."
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  6. Darth Evandrus

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    Oh Jon.

    It seemed that the young Jedi Knight hadn't actually thought about what he was going to do about the credits that would be needed to get the ID. Sure, he could do a decent job here at the Temple but if you wanted the quality stuff? Well they said "If you're good at something never do it for free" so he was just going to have to pay for the best. He grinned a little bit at Jon, shrugging his shoulders a little bit,

    "The Shadows have a budget for this sort of thing." he admitted with a smile, "So don't worry about it - I'll cover you for this one don't worry."

    The speeder ride was... different.

    He had to admit that he found it rather amusing to be in the shoes of the Master when it came to the enthusiastic Knight and the serious Master. Though he would admit to feeling a kind of kinship with those long-suffering Masters who had had to try and keep up with him. He laughed a little bit when he heard the name, stepping out of the speeder to gesture at the cantina that they were heading to,

    "I like it!" He admitted with a grin, before adding, "Is it weird that I thought you'd be an 'Adam'? I was thinking something like... Adam Flyer! Or something like that - guess it's not up to me."

    Walking into the cantina, Cregan grinned as the music literally stopped upon admitting the two Jedi. He waved to the band, who just stood there in silence. Moving over to a single person sat reclined against a table, Cregan grinned and the other man just sighed,

    "Cregan Doldan... you want to do business?"

    Cregan shrugged,

    "Yup! For my friend here."

    The man gave Jon a look before glancing at Cregan again,

    "You gonna blow up a hanger if I don't?"

    Cregan smirked and sat down,

    "Only if I don't like the price."

    There was a pause and the silence stretched, before the man burst out laughing and the entire cantina laughed along with him before returning to their fun. The man grinned and turned to Jon,

    "Name's Cando, Cando Lalrissian." he greeted Jon before his grin grew wider, "And who are you looking to be?"



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  7. Jon Atreides

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    "That's good to know, I guess I owe you one!" An operational budget, now that was something he hadn't known. One of the elder shadows had tried to recruit him a few years ago, but it hadn't felt like the right fit so he had politely refused her offer. But she hadn't told him anything about a budget, he wondered how many good meals he could have gotten out of it before they'd cut him off. And he was sure they'd cut him off, he doubted anyone in the Order had that big a budget.

    "Funny you'd think that." He replied to Cregan's words about his name, letting out a short chuckle as he did so. "My father's name was Adam. And not a lot of people know this, but he was a pilot. I guess in a way he was an Adam Flyer." He smiled at that, not just at the discussion but at the fond memories of his father and mother that the discussion had brought back. He really missed them at times.

    As they stepped into the cantina, Jon raised an eyebrow as the place came to a literal standstill at the arrival. He had been to a few such establishments on Jedha, and while the people on the planet had a certain reverence for Jedi, never had he seen a reaction such as this. His head turned to look at Cregan as the Jedi Master waved to the band, just how big of a deal was he? The more time he spent with Cregan, the more the man surprised him.

    Jon smiled politely and nodded in greeting as the man introduced himself. "Han Yolo." Jon was careful to say the name slowly and enunciate it clearly. He wasn't sure if the man would ask him to write the name down or anything, but he didn't want to end up with the wrong name because he didn't speak clearly.

    With the bar back to life all around them, Jon felt a little more comfortable making conversation and asking some questions that curiosity had awoken in his head. "If you don't mind me asking, Cregan here is your only contact or do you help other shadows as well?" He glanced at Cregan then before continuing. "It almost seems to me like I knew almost nothing about your shadows."

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  8. Darth Evandrus

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    Huh - he knew there was an Adam in Jon somewhere but it was a little bit surprising to find out that it was from the man's father. Somewhat surprising because most Jedi didn't bother to go and find anything out about their original families. Cregan himself knew enough about his family to know that they were alive and that they didn't know that he was still alive and he had left it there, not evening really bothering to memorise their names or anything like that.

    Adam the pilot - Adam the Flyer.

    "And you're gonna be a flyer too - I don't know why but Han Yolo really strikes me as the kind of guy who's going to be getting into a lot of scrapes and flying through spaces that really ought to be considered too tight to safely fly through... but oh well, that'll be fun too."

    Cando was a friend of Cregan's from when he had went to get his own IDs and he rather liked the guy. He was a bit of a con-man but that was fine by him since people had said the same thing about him in the past as well. Cregan went to get them some drinks and Cando fielded the question,

    "Oh hell no baby!" he joked a little bit, "As pretty as he is to look at, I reckon I'd get bored only speaking to him. No no - I'm here providing services to all you Jedi. You know? You guys are doing hard work so I'm happy to help out!"

    Cregan rolled his eyes a little bit,

    "And our credits spend like anyone else."

    Instead of responding to that one verbally, Cando merely pulled a finger gun move to Cregan as he accepted his drink. Taking a drink, he grinned a little bit, pulling out a pazack deck,

    "Tell you what Mr Yolo... you beat me at pazack and you've got yourself an ID for free." he declared confidently, "Best three out of five hands. You win, it's yours. You lose? Well you pay full price. What do you say?"

    Cregan snorted and handed Jon his own pazack deck,

    "Go on then Han... give it a roll."



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  9. Jon Atreides

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    Jon had to laugh at Cregan's interjection to Cando's claims of wanting to help out the Jedi. Jedha seemed to be full of people like him, individuals who might be criminals in the strict sense of the world, but in one way or another helped the Jedi out. Be it for financial gain, or a sense of genuine belief in the Order. Whatever the reasoning, Jon knew that they were a vital cog in the continued running of the Jedi machine.

    And then Cando propositioned Jon for a game of pazaak.

    Jon grinned at that, he loved pazaak. His mother would play it would it with him all the time, and some of his fondest memories of his family revolved around the pazaak table. Taking Cregan's offered deck, Jon slipped into the seat across from Cando. "Alright, alright. You're on."

    Jon was good enough at reading people to know that Cando was a gambler, about as smooth an operator as any. He wouldn't be surprised to learn that he had won and lost a great deal at the pazaak table. Playing against such players was always the most fun, specially if you won. And if he lost? Well it was still Cregan's money, he thought as he began shuffling with a lopsided grin on his face.

    He winked at Cando as he pulled out the fancy moves while he shuffled the decks, little tricks he had learnt from his mother, before setting the cards down and making his first draw. Setting his cards down on the table, he looked up at Cando, waiting for him to make his draw.

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  10. Darth Evandrus

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    Cando was enjoying this little game he had going with Yolo so he was going to see how this one went. He hummed upon seeing the young man set his cards down, Cando took his own cards. Humming a little bit, he tutted a little bit and they played their first hands, Cando with a rather reckless play style that focused on his natural luck.

    Cregan just watched it all while finishing his drink - cards had never really been his thing.

    "Alright alright alright then - that's one done." Cando declared with a smirk, "But hey now... no one here's gonna get cocky now are they? There's still another two hands to play at the very least."

    The decks were shuffled again and Cando spoke as they shuffled,

    "You a Shadow like Cregan then big shot?" he asked across the table as he dealt the cards for themselves again, "You don't look like the last Shadow he brought here. You look too happy."

    He played his second hand with the same reliance on his natural luck as the first one.



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  11. Jon Atreides

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    Jon let out a good natured laugh and shook his head as Cando revealed his hand, narrowly beating out Jon's hand. He had forgotten the thrill of the game, and though he had lost the first hand the blood was pumping through his body now. He was that ten year old kid playing with his mother to see if he owed get dessert. The stakes might be a bit higher than some ice-cream, but the excitement was no different.

    "Good hand, good hand." He didn't say more as he drew his second hand. He laid them out on the table, though didn't reveal them, answering Cando's questions first.

    "Too happy?" He let out a laugh at that, the shadows did seem to attract the more brooding members of the Order, minus Cregan that is. Jon had almost never seen the man in a bad mood. "But yes, you're right. I'm not a shadow, not really sure what I am. Just a Jedi for now I guess. Probably a Jedi down on his luck if these cards are anything to go by."

    With that he flipped over his cards, wondering if the Force would be with him this time around.

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  12. Darth Evandrus

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    Cando had won the first round but, like he said, there was hardly anything worth being cocky about with that. One hand was nothing in a game like this, not when the hands went by so fast and all that. So while he was happy he'd gotten the first win, he didn't let it go to his head or anything. He sipped his drink and Cregan could see that Cando was warming to Jon, who he knew as Han Yolo naturally, which was good.

    Bout time some of the other Jedi got contacts other than him.

    "Lady Luck is sweet on me." Cando quipped with a smirk before laughing a little bit, "Well if you're a Jedi down on your luck then I might even be able to find work for you, you know..."

    Cregan made a show of coughing, catching the attention of both Jon and Cando,

    "I feel the need to inform the two of you that I have suddenly lost my hearing except when really bad criminal activity is mentioned." he joked, looking away, "So if you guys starting chatting about it I'll just be looking off to one side."

    He was hardly going to have a got at Jon about taking some side missions for shady characters - it was literally part of the job that Shadows did if he was honest.

    Cando and Jon both played their second hands.



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  13. Jon Atreides

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    Jon's lips curled in a lopsided grin at Cando's offer of employment, but that turned into a full blown laugh when Cregan chimed in. Jon liked this Cando, he could see now why Cregan seemed to prefer doing business with him. It never hurt being friends with people like him, so Jon was grateful that he had the opportunity to build up an rapport with him. Who knew, he might need his help again in the future.

    "Trust me, you wouldn't want me working for you. Big clumsy hands on me, I doubt you'd find any use for someone like me." With that they'd compare the second hand, and Jon would shrug and smile at winning the hand, though just barely.

    "So back to square one, not gonna get a quick result are we?" He chuckled again as he drew another hand, a small crowd starting to gather around them, people putting down bets. Jon wasn't too surprised to see most of the bets seemed to be against him, from what he picked up of passing conversation these people were more than familiar with Cando's luck.

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  14. Darth Evandrus

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    Well at least the kid wasn't going to go running to a life of crime at the first sign of someone being interested in his joining up. Cregan himself had been tempted by some of Cando's offers in the past but he had stuck it out with the Jedi too. That was a good sign for Jon, even if being as loyal as he was was something of a low bar in some ways.

    Cando just grinned,

    "Hey nothing wrong with some big hands." he joked a little bit as he continued playing, not letting his loss get to him at all as they continued, "I've seen a Wookie acting as a co-pilot before - big carpet working with such small, delicate, buttons? You'd be surprised how easy he adapted so I'm sure you'd be fine."

    Cando just grinned,

    "Well if you want to lose so badly maybe I'll hurry up then, eh? You shouldn't be so hasty Mr Yolo! They say you only live once after all so maybe savour it?"



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  15. Jon Atreides

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    Jon had to wonder if all the gambling houses on Jedha were wasting their time by banning Jedi from playing on their tables. The way his luck was going he had doubts if he would have ever done anything other than make them more money. Combine shitty luck with an upbringing that would keep most from using the Force to cheat, and Jedi like him might just be a casino's favorite customers.

    "Heh, a Wookiee. Sure you have." He chuckled as Cando revealed his cards, winning another hand, putting him one hand away form winning the game. "I wonder if he's friends with that human who's supposed to be winning pod races on Tatooine."

    "My father once knew this smuggler, used to spin the craziest yarns. Survived some crazy shit, and all because he always shot first." Drawing his next hand, he laid his cards down on the table. This was it, if he lost the game was over. "Maybe sometimes it pays to be hasty."

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  16. Darth Evandrus

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    Was... was that really Jon's hand?

    Dear freaking Gods it was probably a good thing that the guy was a Jedi rather than a smuggler with the luck he seemingly had right here. All that was needed was one more hand and Jon had lost the little bet... not that Cregan particularly cared since he'd been prepared to pay full price anyway. It was all in good fun so he wasn't exactly going to get up in arms over it.

    Cando just grinned a little bit,

    "Do I look like the kind of guy who would make stuff up to you?" he gestured to himself before smirking a little bit, "Ah that's nothing - you heard about how a group of elite soldiers got beaten to death by teddy bears with rocks? Now THAT is some weird kriff but hey, that's the Galaxy for you right?"

    The smuggler just smiled a little bit at the remark about Jon's father, the softening of the expression showing that he did have a bit of a softer side,

    "Sounds like a guy I would like to meet." he admitted as he laid his cards down, smirking as he added, "Probably a better card shark than you though man - get the feeling I'd probably lose my ship to him or something."



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  17. Jon Atreides

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    Jon could do little more than laugh as he and Cando revealed their hands, Jon's cards were about as bad as Cando's were good. He hadn't just lost, he had lost spectacularly. Maybe all the years among the Jedi had washed away more of his past than Jon had thought, his parents would have been ashamed of him after a game like that.

    He held out a hand to Cando to congratulate him, while he smiled and shrugged an apology at Cregan. "I have a feeling you might beat him just as well as you beat me. Though if you love your ship you'd really regret losing it to him. From what my father said he wasn't one to take care of his ships. Would have had it looking like a piece of junk in a matter of days."

    He pushed his chair back and got to his feet, still coming to terms with just how badly he had lost. "Why don't I get us a round of drinks, and let the two of you figure out the details of our transaction. I'm sure you have some secret shadow exchange you don't want me overheating, or just share more stories about teddy bears and golden gods."

    He wandered off towards the bar with another chuckle, teddy bears and flying Wookiees indeed. He was left wondering if all criminals had a propensity to spill tall yarns or just the ones he ran into.

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  18. Darth Evandrus

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    And that was all she wrote apparently!

    Seemed that having the Force was definitely NOT the same as being lucky - which he appreciated if he was honest. He would really rather not have it turn out that he got through most of his fights on luck. He much preferred the idea that Jedi used the Force to create their own luck. Ah well, what was he gonna do eh? Seemed that he was going to need to pay Cando the full amount of credits for the whole thing.

    Cando just grinned a little bit, shaking Jon's hand,

    "Ah he sounds like a proper scoundrel! He'd probably end up roping me into joining some goodie-goodie crusade over some chick I bet!" he joked right back before nodding a little bit, "Yeah, you go ahead and grab some drinks friendo - me and Creggy gotta have some words."

    With Jon wandering off to the bar, Cregan merely leaned in closer and began to hand the credits over to Cando. The criminal took the credits and held them in his hands for a moment before shaking his head slightly. Cregan raised an eyebrow,

    "You're going to turn down credits?"

    Cando scoffed,

    "Full price? Yeah, for once I reckon I am." he declared, counting out half the cost and setting it aside in his pocket before tossing the remainder to Jon with a shout of, "Heads up Yolo! I'll take Corellian spiced rum!"

    Staring at the criminal for a moment, Cregan just kept his eyebrow raised,

    "Why, Cando?"

    The criminal looked between Cregan and Jon for a moment, the other Jedi having returned with drinks, before sighing and answering,

    "The Galaxy needs you guys." he admitted quietly, "Now normally? I wouldn't care. But I happen to live in this Galaxy and I prefer it being run by incompetant kark-wits far more than I prefer it being run by those red-saber sons of schuttas."

    He pulled down to collar of his shirt to show a jagged burn near his neck,

    "They had me at the end of their blades once and I don't want to see the whole Galaxy finding out how that feels, you got me?"



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  19. Jon Atreides

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    Jon, who was in the process of ordering their drinks, turned around as Cando called out to him and snatched the credits he had tossed towards him. He turned around and started ordering when he noticed the denomination on the credit chips, it was enough to buy drinks for the entire bar, many times over. Sliding across the appropriate amount of credits, he made his way back to the table with three drinks precariously balanced in his hand to catch Cregan and Cando in the midst of a rather serious discussion.

    As he heard Cando speak, Jon wanted to believe that there were more people like him in the Galaxy who still believed in the Jedi, hoped that that was the case. But deep down he knew the vast majority of the Galaxy had lost faith in the Jedi. To them there was no difference between the Jedi and the Exiles, simply two faces of the same coin. And with the recent wave of propaganda being spread by the Exiles things were looking even worse for the Jedi. It seemed like the number of people supporting the Jedi was falling every passing day.

    So hearing Cando's words gave Jon a sense of hope, as long as there was one soul that believed in them the Jedi would be there to protect them. "Didn't take you for a believer." Jon smiled at Candor as he said so, sliding the spiced rum towards him and picking up his own glass. "To fewer red-sabered sons of schuttas, and a short reign for their loon of a queen."

    He chugged his drink down in one go, visibly flinching as it burned his throat on the way down, preventing him from noticing any reaction Cregan may have had at Jon's mention of his wife. Instead he slammed his glass down on the table and faced Cando again as he passed the credits back to him. "Consider it a retainer, I might drop by if I ever need your help, and you give me a call if you're ever facing down a red-saber again. Besides," he flashed a lopsided grin as he gestured towards Cregan with a thumb, "it's his money, I'm sure he has a lot more. With how famous he is I won't be surprised if someone's paying him to stick his face on shampoos and pretty boy hair products."

    @Nefieslab
     
  20. Darth Evandrus

    Darth Evandrus Character

    Sith Empire
    Level 4
    7,687

    High Judge
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    Nefieslab
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    Taking the drink that Jon had brought back for him, Cregan took a little drink of it, just as surprised as the Knight that Cando seemed to even give a womprat's ass about the Jedi. The man had been a smuggler and a criminal for years and yet when it came down to it he respected the Jedi?

    It did make a certain amount of sense though - Cando had always been quick to help Cregan and the Shadows, even if it was just as a way to get a steady supply of good credits.

    "I believe the Galaxy is a lot brighter when people don't have to be afraid of red-saber waving boogeymen!" he declared firmly before laughing, "I'll drink to that! May that queen witch die soon but not quickly!"

    As both of the others drank to that toast, Cregan didn't. He raised his glass to his lips and mimed the motion but he refused to toast and drink to such a sentiment... that was his wife after all. But it wasn't like he could do what he really wanted which was to slam both Jon and Cando's heads through the table until they ate their words.

    That wasn't very Jedi.

    He rolled his eyes a little bit,

    "I race." he admitted with a bark of laughter, "You wouldn't believe how much money you can make racing speeders and swoop bikes against non-Force Sensitives."

    Cando looked offended for a moment,

    "Sir... do you mean to tell me that you cheat at gambling?!"

    Cregan stared at the man for a long moment before smirking,

    "Is it cheating if you don't get caught?"

    There was a tension in the air... for all of a second before Cando laughed,

    "Got me there!" he pointed to Jon, "You need to learn how to cheat more Yolo."



    @Wit