Ask If Things Were Different

Discussion in 'Outer Rim Territories' started by Arda Breaux, Jun 9, 2019.

  1. Arda Breaux

    Arda Breaux Character

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    Atollon

    Arda stepped off her shuttle and took a moment to adjust to the heat and the bright light of the sun and once more she could feel any resemblance of moisture be sucked from her being. She quickly remembered what was uncomfortable about this world, but she wasn't here to decide if she were going to make it her home, she was indeed back to see the Bendu. The last she had seen the Force god was when she was just a Jedi Knight, uncertain about her place, so many things had changed, and they still have been changing, throwing the young Jedi Commander into a realm she was uncertain how to navigate. It seemed as though the Force had a destiny laid out for her and there wasn't anyone she could turn to for guidance.

    However, there was the Bendu.

    She reached into her pouched and pulled out the stone that he had created the last time she was here, rubbing it gently with her thumb and forefinger before replacing it as she set out into the wilderness to find him. Her presence though would be calmer than it was the last visit she had with him, she had grown even more since then and others have recognized her power also. Though she had confidence in her abilities, there was something different about carrying the weight of the Order's existence and the survival of the Rebellion. The last time she had visited, he was disguised as the stones and trees in a valley, it would be the first where she would start as she climbed carefully down the stone slope, until she could safely jump to the ground.

    The let the Force flow through her, her senses stretching outward as she tried to find any indication of the Bendu or something that would be off in the Force to alert her of his presence. Or he could have already known she was present, that wouldn't surprise the Jedi woman either.



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  2. The Bendu

    The Bendu Character

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    Ah.

    Arda Breaux returned.

    The Bendu recognized her Force signature, of course, but the stone that had been imparted last time was also within it's awareness. Naturally the stone was nothing more than a stone with potential at this stage but it was still something that the Bendu had an acute awareness of.

    Some would say that the Bendu had a sense of theatricality if they saw the way it rose from the ground before Arda, keeping her safe from any settling earth but still managing to look imposing and regal in a way only a phenomenally old Force being could. It's eyes peered down at Arda.

    Once again, Arda Breaux was weighed.

    She was measured.

    And she was found... incomplete.

    "Arda Breaux."

    It's voice rumbled forth, echoing slightly in the immediate area.

    "When last we met you were lost - now I sense that you have found a direction, a path, and it is the path itself that troubles you."

    There was a pause as the Bendu gathered it's thoughts and drank deeply from the emotions that were swirling around inside the mind of the Jedi Master.

    "Speak freely, Master Breaux."


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  3. Arda Breaux

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    And as though on cue when Arda entered the valley, the Bendu appeared; his massive form rose from the ground along with the stones, buses and trees that had found its home on the ancient being. He towered over Arda as she looked into his white eyes, feeling him peer right through her and though it may have bothered if it were others, for Arda, she wanted him to, there were things she could not put into words as she set forth on a path that was so unfamiliar, she almost felt lost. He greeted her, remembering her presence as they had met not too long ago, but before he continued, he welcomed for the woman to speak first, which may have been good because she was uncertain how much longer she could keep her thoughts bottled up.

    "It is not the path itself that troubles me, Bendu, it is what I cannot see on this path." she pressed her lips together in thought, thinking of the best way to explain it, "You see, there were others, stronger and wiser than me, Masters of the Order and now they are gone. They walked a path similar to mine and they have fallen from it, will that happen to me too?" she asked with no doubt fear behind her words, she had no one else to look to for guidance, all the masters were either dead, fallen, or whereabouts unknown.

    "Everyone looks to me now, they want me to lead a rebellion, to lead the Jedi too and its hard to see a clear path, I can't see it and it unsettles me." Arda explained, "If I say or do the wrong thing, I put thousands at risk for harm. No Jedi has done this in almost five hundred years and no others have gotten this far." she glanced away, her voice trailing before she let out a long sigh, "This is all just crazy." Arda shook her head, trying to find some reasoning in it.



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  4. The Bendu

    The Bendu Character

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    How could it be that one so small, with such a short lifespan, found herself with oh so very many problems all at once? As a creature of such a vast life, the Bendu found itself rather out of touch with the sense of scale that more mortal beings endured. To the Bendu, her problems seemed so small and so rushed but to Arda they were pressing matters and they were of paramount importance. Once again, however, they were hinging on her self-doubt.

    The Bendu had truly believed that Arda had begun to make some progress with her self doubt and yet here she was without much of a difference overall. Certainly there was some steel in her spine regarding the issues she faced now but that was all. Still she was beset by issues, by a weight that threatened to keep her stooped.

    Threatened to keep her from achieving her full potential.

    "Hmm knowledge of the future is something that your kind lacks." the Bendu acknowledged with a small nod of it's massive head, "And because you cannot see your way you flounder. You compare yourself to others and when you do you shrink yourself down to be lesser than they."

    The Bendu peered down at Arda.

    "You fear it."

    It wasn't a question because the question was already answered.

    Arda was paralyzed by fear and indecision just as previous leaders had been. She found herself so worried that she would make the wrong decision that she found it beyond difficult to stomach making any decision at all. Each decision weighed heavily on her when, by rights, it should not.

    "When you first approached me you were uncertain of your path as a Jedi and now you live in fear and uncertainty. Do you wish me to instruct you on how to live with these fears? These uncertainties and the cruelty of absolute certainties?"


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  5. Arda Breaux

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    He validated her thoughts, she couldn't argue it, she indeed feared and she felt embarrassed for even fearing something she knew she had no control over. However, the reality she saw was the destiny of the Masters that came before her, this path, she didn't know what laid ahead, the unknown of something that hasn't been seen in over five hundred years. He spoke again, recalling their first meeting, picking up a pattern in her behavior; Arda sighed and bowed her head, it was often she was faced with uncertainty but she was never sure how to answer those with those uncertainties and it seemed like a cycle that fed into itself.

    "I don't want to fail the Order, I don't want to fail all the rebels who look to me for guidance." she paused as he asked her if she wanted him to instruct her, "Can you?" she raised her head, tilting it slightly, "Would you be able to show me how to defeat my fears?" she asked, "Can you see if I end up like the other masters or...or can you show me how I can stop me from becoming lost like them?"

    She felt like a lost child to a parent, confused and willing to do what he asked of her in order to get the reward; this reward will be knowledge, to know the answers that she had yet to find. "I can't fail them, Bendu."



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  6. The Bendu

    The Bendu Character

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    The Bendu loomed over Arda and it mused upon her issues, her problems to be solved. She came here because it had become apparent that the Bendu offered her clear and unbiased opinions and advise. It did not care to attempt to influence her and her opinion meant nothing to it if she were to form a negative opinion of it then the Bendu would not be overly worried.

    She would probably still come to visit.

    Despite it's age, the Bendu could not help but think that there was something it rather enjoyed about people coming to visit. There was something to be gained, enjoyed, in instruction it would seem.

    "Failure is the regarded as a great teacher. I believe this to be incorrect, at least partially." It declared in it's rumbling tone, "When you fail it hurts, it causes you to falter and fall. It is the rising above the failure that aids you. As it is with fear - it is the act of defeating fear that aids you."

    The Bendu began to reach deeply into the Force.

    And faded away.

    In place of the majestic Force creature, a swirling vortex of darkness sprang into existance. From the darkness a long figure stepped out, slowly approaching Arda with an easy smile fixed in place even as she flicked her head slightly to cause her bright red hair to move to one side, drape over one of her shoulders.

    "Arda."

    The voice was perfect, exactly as it had been the last time Arda would have heard the woman speak. Time had not touched her and she actually looked happier than she had before.

    "You look tired, dear."

    Jedi Master Leah Reach stood before Arda with her arms open to receive her... replacement.


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  7. Arda Breaux

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    She listened to the Force god as he spoke, glancing down at her own feet like an uncertain child, her own thoughts working to put together what he was saying. She looked back up as he spoke about failure and fears and she opened her mouth to speak, but stopped, letting him finish, but something odd was happening as she could feel the Force move around her. Feeling suddenly unsteady, Arda threw out her arms to keep herself balanced as the massive rock moose faded into a black void and Arda called out for him, suddenly concerned as to what has happened. "Bendu?!" she cried out, and went to call out again, but stopped herself as a figure emerged.

    Her eyes studied the figured as it walked foward, her red hair was distinct, her smile reminding her of a time in which she knew so little about being a Jedi. She spoke her name, and Arda couldn't stop her eyes from watering up, "Master Reach..." she whispered as she commented how tired she looked. The young Master nodded in agreement, she was tired, she couldn't deny the fact that at times that weariness showed through. The red-headed Jedi Master opened her arms for Arda to come to her and Arda stepped forward, but stopped, she couldn't believe she was here, of all places, she was here, before her, but where had the Bendu gone?

    "Wh-what are you doing here? Where is the Bendu?" she asked the former Jedi Master, but shook her head, turning the focus on the woman before her, "We need you back with the Alliance, there are so many new students seeking the Jedi and I don't know if I can keep up." she told her, her eyes leaving the woman as she still tried to figure out where the Bendu had gone.



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