Funani's last Transaction on Tatooine

Discussion in 'Chronicles' started by Funani Avanti, Jul 7, 2019.

  1. Funani Avanti

    Funani Avanti Character

    Independent
    Level 1
    128

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    Caught in Strangereal
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    The heat seared the surface as the twin suns soared high in the sky. Many would consider this to be unbearable but for the residents of Tatooine this was just another day as usual. The trade hubs were a nexus of activity with all walks of life bartering and schmoozing about. From local farmers that were trying to buy a simple labor droid with whatever savings they managed to scrounge up, to mercenaries and criminals checking out potential upgrades for their killing gear. Amongst this grand bazaar of life was a single jawa boiling under the combination of heat and frustration.

    “Ra’ti! Not a single sale all day even with the bom’loos I’m offering. Does this really have to be the day where my sales are dryer than a moisture farmer’s credit account?”

    Funani hoped that this would be the last great day of sales before he could tell the entire planet to screw off from the window of spaceship heading for anywhere that wasn’t Tatooine, but this wasn’t that day. More superstitious traders would take this as an omen that misfortune was soon to come but superstitions were for idiots that couldn’t accept responsibility for their own down fall Funani believed… or rather his parents had believed. Still Funani accepted the results of today as he closed up his storefront and packed away everything. It was early for most traders but Funani had arrangements that needed to be answered, a final bit of business before he could kiss Tatooine goodbye.

    Funani made his way to a large (by tatooine’s standards) domed clay building that was the same off white color as most of the buildings on the planet, the main distinguishing feature being the sign hanging from the door “Kura’s General Goods- The best prices in all of Tatooine”.
    “What a bunch of Dooka.” Funani thought to himself as he opened the screeching shack door and entered the building.

    Inside was an array of shelves with items all vaguely organized by price and category. From hydrospanners that were a few hours away from motor failure, to droids that may or may not have a flawed logic subroutine that may make it convinced that it needs to water it’s masters like they were plants. Manning the counters ready to make all of these dubious deals were a staff of Jawas that had been transformed into walking husks from working. No one works here because they wanted to, most that worked here had a similar story. They tried to make it out on their own, running their own businesses until something came along to ruin that. Some just couldn’t cut it on their own so they took up a job here to make ends meet. Some had come into debt due to alcoholism, gambling or drug use that grew out of control until Kura came along and 'offered' a way out of their troubles. The saddest ones were the upstarts that were naive enough to take a loan from Kura to try and grow their business not realizing that this began the string of insane interest rates, harassing debt collectors, and taking out loans to pay for loans that would lead to their indentured servitude under Kura. Funani could feel anger flare up at the sight of these enslaved ‘employees’.

    “Keep it together you only have to be here for an hour at most then you can forget this place even existed.”
    Funani quickly padded his chest an outside perspective would see it as him trying to gather some last minute courage but to Funani he was checking that his blaster was still under his robes(it was and had been the whole day). Funani then noticed the sight he was dreading. A large bulbous Hutt (leech was a more apt description) known as Kura. He immediately noticed Funani with a sparkle of anticipation.

    “Ah the Big and Powerful Funani Avanti. Come come we have business to discuss friend.”

    The backhanded sarcasm and usage of the word friend was noted and irritating already making Funani regret ever coming here. Still he needed someone whom he could quickly organize a buy out of his business. Price wasn’t the most important factor here since Funani’s savings were already enough for him to hitch a ride and theoretically support himself for a few months. The money he earned from this was just a pick me up. The opportunity cost that mattered was every second he still spent here when he could be seeing some real action. So he filed the insult away under R for Revenge and followed the hutt into a private office.

    It was easily the nicest room in the entire establishment with a fireplace one the left side, A large repliwood desk that sat in front of the shiny silk like cushion that the hutt placed himself on and a single admittedly cushy chair upholstered in synthleather that sank a small amount as the small Jawa climbed his way in. Decorated on the walls were framed pieces of paper that were all handwritten. Funani was too far away to discern the writing into individual words but he still knew what all of them were: contracts of the previous businesses Kura bought out. This was a custom amongst some traders on tatooine although archaic to some in a galaxy of commlinks and datapads these contracts had a point to them, they symbolically represented surrender. While capitalism may be seen as merely an open market for most people for traders on tatooine many saw it as war. Trading nations of all kinds fighting it out on the battlefields of the market where the weak will fall and the strong dominate. These pieces of paper where then declarations of surrender with the terms of that surrender listed out as a way for the victor to gloat over his spoils and trophies. The Avanti Scrap Emporium would be the next to join the list of those defeated.

    “So Funani tell me how was your day? You sell a lot of good stu-”

    “Cut the chit chat Kura. Do you have the money we agreed on?”

    “Hm straight to the point and down to business then? You’re just like your parents in that regard.”

    The hutt then reached under his desk and pulled out a case placing it on the desk. With a bit of flair and anticipation Kura opened the case presenting 10,000 credits. Funani couldn’t help but extend his arm out to try and touch it with that still being one of the highest amounts of credits he had ever seen grouped together at once. Just before he could touch it the hutt slammed the case closed. Classic tactic he should of anticipated, Funani cursed to himself for falling for it.
    “Not so fast my little friend you can get this once we get this matter sorted out.”

    Kura then pushed a piece of paper and a writing utensil across the desk. Funani getting more aggravated with each mention of the word friend pawed at the paper and started to scan it over. While a part of him just wanted to sign and leave his mother’s voice echoed in the back of his head. Never agree to a contract without reading it over for once you sign it you might as well be bound to it by blood. So Funani read through it a few times finding nothing wrong and got ready to sign away before stopping, a gut feeling had told him to read it over one more time just in case he missed something. As the Jawa’s glowing eyes intensely stared at the paper as if he was trying to burn a hole in it when something jumped out at him.

    It wasn’t anything in the contract but rather what wasn’t in it. “In agreement to the transfer of all assets belonging to Avanti Scrap Emporium LLC. to Kura General Goods LC. a payment of 10,000 credits will be prepared for one Funani Avanti.” That was it the only thing mentioning the payment and all it said was that a payment was to be prepared not given, not delivered or any specific terms guaranteeing that he would actually receive that payment, his gut told him that this was a trap. Anyone could prepare a payment but that didn’t mean you would deliver the payment. What would likely happen is he would sign the contract, lose his business and when he did try to get his hands on those credits he would get a “sorry while we have the payment prepared you can’t get it yet because of insert pile of ra’ti here.” Or worse he would be given it and suddenly owe Kura 10,000 credits plus interest at whatever rate he saw fit.

    Funani put the paper and the writing utensil down and looked at kura straight in the eyes with a new found disgust.

    “You really think you can pull a fast one on me Kura?”

    “I don’t kno-”

    “Yes you do! You never actually specified that I would be paid in this contract. You think that you can trick me Kura? You seriously think that I’m that dumb? I want my payment before I give over a single screw over to you.”

    The Jawa was almost vibrating in his chair resisting every urge to lunge at this hkeek nkulla and choke him to death with his own contract. Still he wanted to walk from Tatooine completely free and not risk a bounty being put on him. The hutt meanwhile remained stone faced at Funani’s outburst which only made Funani more angry.

    “I am being reasonable but if you insist on these ridiculous outbursts then…”

    Kura then opened the case again this time taking most of the credits out. After removing the credits Kura then looked at Funani in the eyes and with no emotion muttered.

    “2,000 is all you will have if you insist on this tomfoolery."

    ”2,000 is practically theft! We both know I was giving you a deal most people would consider insane I’m not going to go any lower than 10,000." Funani spouted off his bartering instinct going into hyperdrive.

    Kura removed even more credits to Funani’s dismay, and growing madness.

    “1,500 now. You really think this is going to get you anywhere?” The hutt questioned with a tone that pierced Funani’s mind. Still though Funani was anything but a pushover and was now dead set on getting his 10,000.

    “Kura you realize that you are about to inherent my entire stock right? All those wonderful droids and products I have can easily net you 15,000 on a good weekend, and the tools are all well maintained and beautiful quality your shop will never be the same with those. Please don’t be rash now.”

    Kura was now starting to become amused at the sight of this bargaining Jawa desperate to hold onto his pride. Still he wanted to put more pressure on Funani to see if he could crack, so he removed more credits from the case.

    “1,000 last offer unless you want to reconsider your options and just sign this agreement. I took you for a smart Jawa Funani. Please don’t make me disappointed.”

    Funani was almost ready to explode but he realized that he was in dire straights now. He wanted to have nothing to tie him to Tatooine and have something to show for shedding those ties. Now he seemed like he was about to be stuck on this planet for a while longer. Still there was one last card Funani could play and maybe just maybe it would work.

    “I’m the one who is disappointed Kura. Here I was about to give you one of the most perfect gift wrapped deals in my life. I was selling low you would be getting a plethora of stock that you could immediately turn around and sell, and you would be getting rid of one of your key rivals too. With you trying to pull this sham though I think I might just stay here and teach you a lesson in what happens when a good Jawa goes to war. So tell me Kura am I going to leave here and never see you and this craphole ever again or are we about to go to war?”

    Kura sighed tired of dealing with this stubborn fool and tried to see if he could call out the bluff.

    “I doubt you really are going to go to war as you say. I am disappointed in you my friend. It’s a shame I tried to come to a similar arrangement with your parents years ago. Turns out you are just as prideful and stupid as them.”

    Funani froze for a second processing what he just heard. Throughout this entire conversation. Funani had been trying to restrain himself from doing anything too crazy but if this hkeek nkulla would have the gall to insult him and his parents over his stupid scam then the gloves were off now and he didn’t care about what would happen to him now.

    “Fine” Funani said in an eerily calm tone. The jawa then proceeded to slowly take out his blaster rifle Emilee making sure to take to demonstrate that the gun was in the safe position and that the charge pack assembly was disconnected. He then removed some tools and started tweaking with the innards. Funani was completely absorbed in this action and only vaguely heard Kura laughing.

    “You seriously think that I’m now going to give you anything for that piece of ‘dooka’ you call a rifle. Funani you are even more desperate than I thought.”

    “Just give me some time. I’m thinking of something.” Funani shot back at a volume that was almost a whisper. The sudden calmness did seem to have an effect on Kura as he pondered what the heck this Jawa was planning and considered reaching for the blaster pistol he kept underneath his desk, but decided this was just some sly tactic Funani was trying to pull. Funani seemed to have finished tweaking the firing mechanism and then unscrewed the bolt stabilizer from Emilee’s barrel and plugged the charge pack assembly back into the stock.

    “Ok here’s what I’m thinking about either you give 10,000 credits and we all leave here and never speak a single word to each other again or…” Funani then slammed the charging bolt forward causing the rifle to go live. The rifle immediately started humming and vibrating as heat started to emanate from it.
    “This rifle blowing up is the last thing you and I see.”

    The hutt’s eyes grew wide with the sight and sound of the rifle building up energy becoming more unstable each second.

    “Now Funani please let’s be reasonable there’s no reason to resort to this I’m sure we can come to an arrangement.”

    “10,000 right now not a credit less.” Funani shot back at him determined to see this through. (A part of him was hoping this idiot would just go with this.)

    “Now now please just put the rifle down and let’s just chat ok?” Kura was now starting to feel the heat coming from the rifle and the humming grew louder and more incessant.

    “Uh uh 2,000 right now and I’ll rewrite the contract you have my word.”

    “Nope. 10,000.” Funani insisted.

    “I give 5,000 just if you make that rifle stop doing whatever it’s doing right now friend. Ok Ok?

    “10,000.” Funani was now managing a steely eyed stare into the hutt trying to ignore how uncomfortable the heat was making things. He knew he would soon have the hutt. Kura started to notice the vaguest hint of red blaster energy starting to emerge from the barrel and panicked.

    “FINE! 10,000 it is just please stop before you blow us both to kingdom come for my sake!”

    Funani pulled the bolt back and disconnected the Charge pack assembly. Kura started throwing the credits into the case as quickly he could before the Jawa could change his mind about not blowing them up. Once he put every credit back in the case he passed it off to Funani. Funani then carefully sorted and counted the chaotic mess of credits that Kura assembled. Funani was smiling under his hood for getting under Kura’s slimy skin. At one point he let out audible hmm which causing Kura to jump in his cushion before dismissively going.

    “No that’s right.” Funani was now trying to keep himself from cackling like a maniac as he finally counted 10,000. He then looked up at Kura to make a final impression on the leech and said
    “A pleasure doing business with you.” before skipping his way out of the Kura General Goods.

    “Now to get off this stupid rock.”
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2019
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