To whom it may concern, The following is a collection of wisdom, insight, quotes and thoughts belonging to our local Skilled-Scrub and savior Darasuum. These are meant to provide insight to the mind of the genius of the common sense, the methods of his madness, and the darkness of his light heart. Take heed and enjoy. The Infinitely General Wisdom is said to be a living thing of its own, ever expanding and growing as time passes. Keep a close eye on this relic of the future, for things may not be as they seem. Thank you, The Universe p.s. Read at your own risk. Darasuum is not responsible for any injury due to your own prone ability to spontanious combust, allergies to logic, humor, sarcasm, wit, joy, or general decency. Quotes Convos Screenshots "Do not play cards with a man named Doc." "Do not eat at a place call Mom's" "Do not fight an ugly girl. She has nothing to lose." "That which does not kill me better run." "Never sit across from an enemy in a chair with arms." "If you're wondering if you should plan to ditch your friends you probably should." "A sharp knife is safer than a dull one." "Don't be better than any other man. Be better than you were the day before." Do you think Build-A-Bear is an attempt to get kids interested in taxidermy? What happens to a 9 year old that uses anti-aging cream that makes you look ten years younger? Don't ask a girl who is eating ice cream straight from a gallon carton how her day is going and expect a positive answer. ""Queue" is just the letter "Q" followed by four silent letters. "When I got out of the Navy I felt my heart say thank god. But my heart said, damn, nobody is on my level." "A shower is just a domesticated rain cloud." "I want to kill the coolest person alive but I'd go to hell for committing suicide" "Fire trucks are actually water trucks" "Killer-Croc is not special. Plenty of people are ugly, can swim, and bite people." "Don't order same day shipping a minute before midnight." "I like my coffee so dark it deserves its own DC movie." "I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and bitter." I put the “Mate” in teammate. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) "Everyday is leg day when you run away from your problems" "An eye for an eye leaves one dude left with one eye." "Mouth-wash is just boneless tooth-paste" Friend: "When was the last time you slept?" Me: "Friday" Friend: "But today is Thursday." Me: "...yes..." Friend: "Whenever you lose something why is it always in the last place you look?" Me: "Probably because you don't keep looking after you find it." Me: "You want some pizza rolls?" Friend: "That's my spirit animal dude."