Ask  Tython Ain't No Doubt About It

Discussion in 'Deep Core and Core Worlds' started by Aliyah Phoenix, Aug 25, 2018.

  1. Aliyah Phoenix

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    She linked her hands together as she leaned backwards, thinking. She didn't know very much about the smaller factions that could help the Jedi, but some planetary systems did have militaries. There were the Deucalians, that the Empire were trying to wipe out, they had a number of Deucalians in the Order already. She could ask her own people too, even though she hadn't seen Ryloth in... longer than she could remember. The old shipyards idea was pretty neato, but it would take a lot of time to get those things operational again. And then there was actually making the ships. And manning them. There weren't very many systems that would openly support the Jedi, though, as far as she could tell.

    "No, they won't break their NAP, and they all might die for it. But there's not much I can do about that, even if they did hear me out. Unless I could somehow prove the Sith...."

    ...are committing war crimes. Would that be enough?

    Her eyes darkened slightly. She had evidence of some vicious attacks the Sith had been a part of just trying to find out what really happened on Manaan. Maybe, if she could collect enough of it, it might help the Order's argument against the Sith Empire? She couldn't be sure. She could also do what most other Jedi have been doing and send some Knights out to different planets to try and negotiate alliances. But instead of just sending a bunch of Knights to one planet, she could send teams of Knight to many different planets and see what would help make those alliances form. If she could get names of planets, stuff like that, she could make a plan similar to what she and Ven once tried to do. It wouldn't be shock combat, but it would be close enough to make sure nobody gets hurt.

    "...would war crimes be enough to convince the Senate? And honestly, I don't really know a lot of planets that like us at all right now. I know we're going to Ithor, but doing this one planet at a time seems slow."


     
  2. Vollen Shai

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    "More than a few have given us ships and soldiers already Aliyah, don't doubt that. And even then, there are many in the galaxy who seek the light and would fight for it alongside us, even if their governments won't" Vollen counseled with a smile, even as Aliyah seemed deep in thought, thinking over plans udoubtedly. She had clearly learnt much from Venatus, he could see it in her now. In her determination, in the grandness of her plans. It was encouraging, inspiring in a way. He had to admire it,

    "As for the Senate, and the Republic. You might be right, there are a great many dark deeds the Sith are responsible for, enough to make more than a few senators rethink the the NAP. But even for all the Republic's slumbering strength, I don't think it would be wise to encourage war on a second front for them, given their recent declaration against the Cartel. Even if we supported them, the Sith and Cartel combined would be a hard fight. I'd give the Republic, and ourselves, more time to strengthen themselves before starting anything there" and now he had slipped into as grim a thought as Aliyah.

    The specter of war hung over the head of the galaxy, a sword swinging ready to fall against them. It was not one he thought they should pull at just yet,

    "But I'm sure you'll know what to do Aliyah. There's a whole galaxy out there that needs our help, and might help us in return" he said with a smile, trying to return it to a nicer tone as he grabbed her hand in a show of confidence.

    They would win this. He knew it.


    @Autumn's Firefly
     
  3. Aliyah Phoenix

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    Aliyah liked to think that she was like her father. But a part of her knew that she was something else now. She did hope the best parts of him lived on in her, in some ways. It was always better to think big, because if you miss chances are you'll still accomplish something. In a way, Venatus did that, because even now while the two of them laughed and talked, they remembered him. Vollen underestimated what kind of inspiration he could bring too. Besides, if she stopped moving forward, she'd start thinking about the past and that's not a place she wanted to be. "We can always count on people then, can't we."

    If only they all saw it like you did.

    Vollen was right on the second part too. The Republic was outnumbered if they picked up a war on two fronts, but if they did nothing it might become even worse. It was time to bulk up their forces, that was for sure, but where would she fit into all this? Aliyah wanted to be a good Jedi. But more and more often she found herself doing things that most other Jedi seemed to disagree with. Was she too forgiving? Was she too... passionate? Driven and passionate where two different things after all, but which was she under? Was that really a good thing? "Yea. I think giving everyone a little time to cope with everything would be smart."

    Her lekku began to cross over each other as Vollen grabbed her hand. Her eyebrow went up for a second, but she didn't move away. Damn lekku had been moving a lot more often. Well, not exactly, she'd just been noticing how the move around subconsciously sometimes. She sighed and they started going back to normal. Did she believe they were going to win this war? Yea, Aliyah believed it, because there really wasn't any other choice. They had to win, they had to win for the entire Jedi Order, and for the Galaxy. They had to win because winning meant surviving, winning meant protecting, so they would win. Her eyes twinkled for a second. She could trust Vollen, she felt she could be honest with him. "You know. I've been putting a lot of thought into whether I should leave the Order or not. I'm a good person, I know that, but I'm not that good of a Jedi... I never really was.

    This stuff is tearing me up, and I really don't know if I have the self control.... to keep my cool. I'm trying, I really am, but it just doesn't seem to be enough."


     
  4. Vollen Shai

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    "It's no easy thing to be able to live through a war, especially when it feels like you're losing. Or when you've lost so much. Don't think Master Wyck or Master Atreides don't worry, or fear as well. But there are ways to cope, ways to move on. If you feel you must leave the Order I won't stop you" he offered, his voice soft, but honest, trying to put her at ease. There was clearly a lot going on in her mind, and she'd just made him privy to some of it,

    "Think on why it's hard, what you want to do as a Jedi. If there's reasons enough then there is a place here for you, of course there is" he continued, before laughing quietly as he continued,

    "Being a Jedi isn't easy, not even hard. It's a fight, a whole way of being. I struggled with that too, but there were people here woh reminded me of why this is a life I've chosen now, not one I was merely put into. Perhaps seek out people who can speak to that for you. I can't make that decision for you" he placed a hand on her shoulder as he stood up. This conversation had been a heavy one, understandably so. But they would have to continue moving and acting, and there were many plans to put into motion. He looked at her again. Perhaps yes, guidance, Master Guleya. Or a goal to focus on, one that would suit her strengths, could become a moment to teach.

    But, if she meant to leave, he would not stop her. While he didn't imagine she would find her way to the Sith, Exile was something the Jedi found a constant worry, so much information and danger along with it floating out where they couldn't track it. During a war, this war, it was a worry they didn't have the luxury of accepting too easily.


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  5. Aliyah Phoenix

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    She shook her head gently. He didn't understand what she was trying to say. The war wasn't the problem, losing those she was close to wasn't the problem at all. Venatus died because he believed in the Order, that it could become something better than it was, and she was the one who convinced him it was possible. Arhena died to keep the Order's secrets safe. Jace and Eivor died defending each other and the Jedi Order, no matter people said about her. But, even through all that, even with former 'evil' dark siders like Ven and Eivee sacrificing their lives for the greater good... nothing really changed. And apparently she was the only one who could see it. "This war will never end. Not while we keep doing the same things that started it in the first place."

    Vollen didn't understand what it was like to hide in plain sight, even though she was a Jedi. To be afraid of her own Order attacking the person who adopted her because they might disagree with what he did. They got lucky, most Jedi they met didn't seem to want to pick a fight with him, but if they ever did and Venatus defended himself... it wouldn't be a father protecting his kids. It would be a force user attacking a Jedi. And for a good long time it seemed like that was something they could move past, something they could overcome as an Order, but nope. Same stuff, this time she was just expected to be okay with it because she was fighting beside them. "We seemed to be getting better, learning from the past and making sure those mistakes didn't happen again. But every single time I try to show a different way, one that maybe doesn't mean killing everyone... nobody listens, and I'm waved off as a hopeful kid."

    Her shoulder rolled slightly as his hand touched it. Her eyes were sparking now, like Dad's did when he started using the Force. Blue fire, the only sign she was his kid, venting out of her eyes. A lot had happened recently, a little too much for her, and it was weird to find that she felt more out of place around the Jedi now than she ever felt before. Like the wallflower, the one that just didn't fit into the little niche everyone was expected to fill. She couldn't change who she was, not even for someone like Kravos. She was certain that she was the only Jedi who wouldn't kill anyone, because there was always another way. And if there wasn't an obvious way, she'd make one. Because forgiving people, believing the best in people, showing them that they can be more than just some slave girl left for dead... that was the right thing to do. She wasn't emotional. She wasn't passionate, and she wasn't upset. But she how cold this war was making her, and if she wasn't careful she might start thinking killing people was okay. "And now? All I see is that same thing over and over again. We didn't change. Even if we win, if the Order keeps going like it is now we'll make a whole new war for ourselves. We'll keep making our own worst enemies.

    I was inducted too. And then I chose, because I believed that we were doing the right thing. But now? Repeating the same garbage that caused the first hundred years darkness... that's not something I want to give up my life for, or be associated with. I will fight until they are at our doorstep and I can't physically or mentally fight anymore... I guess what I'm trying to say is being a good person is a whole lot more important to me than being a good Jedi.


    I'm not gonna decide now. But soon, I'll have to."

     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2018
  6. Vollen Shai

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    "You are not the only one to have such thoughts Aliyah, not by far" Vollen spoke softly in reply. Aliyah was clearly losing faith in the Order. Understandable perhaps, though not something he had hoped to see. He wanted to offer her reassurance, to defend this Order he had come to admire so much, one that was home to him now, had sheltered him just as Venatus had sheltered her. He wondered whether he could, whether it would do anything if he did. It was with the hope fading in him that he chose to go on anyhow,

    "That war began when those of us who wished to use the dark side of the force fled, built up their strength and their hatred in the unknown regions. It warped their minds Aliyah, that's what the dark side of the force does to people. Perhaps... perhaps I don't recognise what you see now" he concluded with a sigh. To him at least, the similarities didn't strike him, at least, not so intensely. The Hundred Years of Darkness began with an exile invasion of the Jedi and the Republic, whose anger at the Jedi for refusing their experimentation with the dark side of the force let it foster inside them, fester and made them fall. Commit unspeakable acts before unleashing their desire for dominance over the galaxy. Perhaps it was true, the Sith now did not feel all together different, the dark side of the force still remained, the core philosophy of those that threatened them,

    "But, explain it to me then. What needs to change? Why can't we be both?" Vollen offered as his eyes moved from the floor to meet hers. He could sense the conflict within her, and while he worried for her that meant he needed to know what it was she saw as a failing. Not so long ago she was speaking of bringing the Republic on side, now... now it seemed things had taken a turn for the worst. Whether he could help pull her back up?

    He could only hope.


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  7. Aliyah Phoenix

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    This must have seemed sudden to him, so, it made sense he looked slightly shocked. She hadn't really talked to anyone about these kind of things, it was a subject she and Dad had talked about maybe once or twice. Most times, the Jedi where amazing, and they where definitely some of the kindest beings in the Galaxy. But they still hadn't done what she'd accepted since the Conclave, since the day she put her foot down and said the Sith would have no more. "Everyone keeps telling me how dangerous turning to the Dark Side can be, but I haven't heard a single Jedi find or even look for a solution to bringing people back. It is possible. I am living proof that if you give someone your trust, if you believe the best in them they will get better." The one hundred years darkness began with an Exile invasion. Exiles that would not have existed if it wasn't for the Jedi. Instead of showing those admittedly twisted people a better way, which was more than possible... they cast them out instead. She could admit that as a Jedi, it was her responsibility to stop the Sith because her Order helped make them.

    She wouldn't explain that out loud. Most Jedi probably wouldn't agree. "I was an angry kid, Voll, and I hated them for what they did to me. For the years, for the lives they stole. For the kids that are dead for all I know. I used to get this anger that poured out of me and just wanted to smash something." Her hands shook slightly as she remembered throwing a weighted table across the room and nearly crushing the slaver, instantly. She remembered nearly bringing her lightsaber down on someone, only for Venatus to kill him so she didn't have to. And every time she saw his face in her mind she just... felt more numb. "But we never drew lines in the sand. His idea of right was never imposed on me, a random stranger I never met jumped in and saved my life. He taught me how to care about myself. I hope I taught him the same. In my mind, that's what a Jedi should be, and maybe I'm totally wrong... but I know that's how some part of the Galaxy see us." She could still get the Republic to help the Jedi. No, she would get the help they needed, and she would keep fighting to win this war no matter where she was or what rank she had. But... Vollen said it earlier, and she realized it now... she would have assassinated someone. That wasn't who she was, a month ago she would never have even suggested that.

    She didn't like how she was changing, and the anxiety that came with the whole package of death and trying desperately to just find direction... she was a mess. It was showing. Keeping it together just kind of fell apart, and everything she'd bottled up since the funeral just poured out.

    "As messed up as it sounds, I understand where some of them went wrong, because I know a single choice could have put me in the same place. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that kind of stigma and I can tell you it hurts. More than you could understand, because once you're a slave or Exile, you have this... shadow hanging over you. It's always there, and everyone knows, and you can feel it in the back of their mind. You're not a person anymore, you're just a thing, just another one of the outcasts. That can never change, or get better, and you feel that you can't change or get any better. You feel like a freak, like you're somehow less than everyone else, something that doesn't deserve to be around other people and that changes you."